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Clean Up on Aisle 5

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Summary: Another Xander’s hidden powers story.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Movies > Oh, God!EdScottFR1543,19901510,58216 Mar 0516 Mar 05No

Clean Up on Aisle 5

Title: Clean Up on Aisle 5 (1/?)

Author: Ed Scott

Disclaimer: All characters belong to their rightful owners... none of

who are me.

Summary: Another Xander’s hidden powers story.

Rating: PG 13

Feedback, It's the coin of the realm

Sunnydale Mall

“You’ll never be able to kill me.” Angel declared. Buffy answered him by kicking him in his crotch.

“Give me time.” Angel answered by groaning.

Xander, Willow, Cordelia and Giles were picking up the pieces of the Judge.

“Well, G-Man, are you going to ship this guy to London for safe keeping?”

“Yes Xander. They’ll know how to dispose of him.” Giles sees Buffy enter the lobby. “So, did you destroy Angelus?”

“I hurt him, but I did not finish him. I just couldn’t.”

Xander wanted to yell at Buffy. Tell her that Angelus was one of the most vicious vampires ever in existence. But if he did, Buffy and Willow will just say he was being jealous. They never saw Xander’s eyes flash blue. Suddenly, all his military training became active in his consciousness.


It was the day after the Harvest. Xander was in his room mourning Jesse. Suddenly, he smelt cigar smoke. And his father doesn’t smoke. Xander opened his eyes and saw an eighty year old man in a gray jacket, a checkered shirt and gray pants smoking a cigar.

“Hello, Xander. I’m God. We have to talk, and we don’t have much time. I need your help. There are archangels that have the title The Powers That Be. I charged them with overseeing the fight against the darkness. I finally took a look to see their progress, and let’s just say I was disturbed by what I saw.”

“What did you see?”

“Oblivion. Not right away, but in a few years. I need you to make sure your friends stay on the straight and narrow. You also will be needed to clean up the messes that your friends are bound to make from time to time. I will do three things for you. One, when you get hurt in a fight, the next day, you will not be bruised. The only thing I won’t cure are lost limbs or a lost head. Two, You will be immune to any disease human or demonic. Can’t have you sick in bed with the flu, now can I? Three, if magic is directed at you specifically you will not be harmed. However, should you be possessed by anything, you’ll still have control, but it would be advisable to act as if you are possessed. As a bonus, you will keep the abilities you should gain in the possessions. So, what do you say?”

“Not to sound ungrateful, but how do I know that you are Him?”

He rolled his eyes. “You know that glass of water by your bed?”

“Yeah. What about…. It?” In the glass was a red liquid Xander picked it up and smelled it. He couldn’t believe it. On second thought, he believes it now.

“Ok, I believe you. You just hired yourself a janitor.” God held out His hand and Xander shook it. The calm and peace in that handshake overwhelmed Xander. He passed out.

“Good luck, kid. We’re all going to need it.”

End Flashback

Xander was in his bedroom removing his guns from under his bed. He had two police issue 9mm guns with hollow point ammunition, a double barreled sawed off shotgun and two boxes of shells, a six shooter to put in the back of his pants, a Kevlar vest and a full length trench coat. As he was cleaning and loading his guns, there was someone coughing to get Xander’s attention. Xander quickly grabbed his six shooter and pointed it at whoever was coughing. Xander saw a man in a 1970’s pimp suit. Xander pulled the hammer back.

“I can’t let you kill him, Harris. He is needed.” He noticed that Xander’s eyes flashed blue for two seconds.

“You should be getting a call in three seconds.” Xander pushed the hammer on his gun back to where it should be and put it back behind his back. He then turned around and continued cleaning his guns. Ignoring the balance demon altogether.

“What are you talking about?” He made a step towards Xander when he got a message from his bosses to return to see them Now.

Realm of the Powers That Be

Whistler showed up and saw his bosses totally freaked out. As far as he knew, there was only one being capable of doing that. And if it was Him, then he wouldn’t like what they had to say.

“We have had.”

“A meeting with God.”

“We are not allowed.”

“To interfere with the mortal.”

“Alexander Harris.”

“We are also not allowed.”

“To warn Angelus or Druscilla.”

“To do so would send the three of us.”

“To hell for eternity.”

Whistler was upset. Angel was his responsibility, but he has been severely overruled. He didn’t like it, but he’d rather stay out of hell.
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