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Who She is Inside

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Summary: After the end of the series Buffy finds herself feeling violent slaying urges and instead of being ashamed goes to see if the military might want her back

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Stargate > Buffy-CenteredspaceyFR1325,4120359,37415 Apr 056 Jul 05No

Who She is Inside

Spacey's notes: I got the idea for this when reading a Buffy/Jack family fic [A Place to Belong, maybe?]. The idea was I never understood or liked Buffy that much. I was thinking about why when I realized that it's because she just isn't real--meaning how I think she should have reacted or felt. This chapter here was supposed to be a single paragraph of background info but took on a life of its own. This is only about two pages in Word Perfect but i have a request: Please look at this as a proposal of sorts and indicate if it seems worth finishing. Oh, I plan on finishing it regardless, but knowing what people think of this as the springboard would kick major ass.

All copyrighted material used without permission

Post season seven btvs. Willow’s spell was just that--a spell. After a month or so

the mini slayers began to lose their slayerdom and went back to being potentials.

Faith stayed on with Giles and took over the role of active slayer because,

initially, Buffy was in the hospital for that annoying mortal wound the First had

teased her about [“this mortal wound, it’s all? itchy!”] that proved less than fatal

to a slayer. However, Faith found that she liked being active slayer because it let

her get out all her aggression and was good and helped people and she didn’t have to

worry about being too strong like a police officer might. That, and she was still


Buffy was in no way jealous of Faith. Something happened to her after Sunnydale and

that last battle and she just... cracked. Her family betrayed and abandoned her when

they and the world needed her most. Not belonging anywhere and not sure what to do

with herself, Buffy slowly drifted apart from her family. She didn’t know if it was

her anger that was making her more violent or if it was the slayer essence but

either way Buffy found herself with a real yen for violence and death. Training

didn’t do it for her; besting someone sparing was painful. She needed the death,

the blood, the thrill of a real fight. Buffy knew that her family would just try to

‘fix’ her and knew in her heart that she would try to reform and be all socially

acceptable for them but that it would kill her soul.

It was Xander, of all people, who gave Buffy the idea. She overheard Xander trying

to convince Giles that they should all carry and be trained in the use of handguns.

The younger man was talking about how there was no reason to handicap themselves any

more than necessary and blah, blah, blah, but at some point he mentioned his soldier

memories. Buffy suddenly remembered what it was like to be part of the Initiative

[before everything went to hell]. She was commended for being a warrior and fit in

with the men once they got over her dainty looks. In fact, she was still all clean and

cleared as far as she knew. Her perfect life, her place to belong, might very well

be doing whatever the hell it was Riley and Sam Finn were doing. Her only problem

now was getting the connections she needed.

Far be it from Buffy to do anything the easy way. The only easy thing she did was

skip town without saying goodbye to her family. Once she was stationed somewhere

she would deal with telling them and smoothing over ruffled feathers. Buffy knew

everyone would still love her once they got over their anger, Willow included.

Because it was Willow’s spell books that let Buffy make a bracelet [or, okay, charm

one she already had] that let her get access to the President. Of the United

States. Buffy just took all her money and two changes of clothes and went off to

D.C. to play blonde tourist.

Once at the White House she used her strength, charisma, and charmed bracelet to

make her way to the President’s personal secretary. At first the nice lady was

hesitant about letting Buffy see her boss but Buffy insisted. The slayer relished

the shocked look on said secretary’s face when she came out of the Prez’s office.

That entire wing of the building could hear an utterly undignified “WHAT!?” in the

President’s voice which was followed by his mad dash to meet his guest. Yes, the

President of the United States vaulted over his desk when he heard that one Buffy

Summers wanted to see him and was in the next room and dashed out to greet

the young woman.

All of us omniscient folks viewing from the outside know that the earthly powers

that be [versus the ones Angel works for] were keeping close tabs on Buffy and her

family. The President, not wanting to die a bloody death, did not know how to tell

Buffy this. As he was puzzling over what to tell her Buffy took the floor. She

explained that, although she was not ready back when the Initiative left Sunnydale,

times had changed and Buffy Summers was interested in joining a group that fought

demons. Buffy mentioned having gotten wind of the Finns a few years back and asked

if she could join that outfit. Oh, it was a happy day for the President!

Hayes [the President, remember?] told Buffy that yes, that program was still going

strong but there was another program that might interest her even more. One perk,

he told the slayer, was that it was centered in the States and not in the wilds of

Asia and Africa. Long story short, Buffy decided to hear a pitch for the mystery

program [after all, demon fighting seemed damned natural to her] and was told to

return three days hence via a limo that would be sent for her.

Waiting for Buffy in the limo three days later was a bald, rounded man in a blue

dress uniform. He said that his name was George Hammond and that he was the head of

the program the President had mentioned at his last meeting with Buffy. Hammond

also told her that he had read her file and seen video of her in Slayer Mode. He

further explained that unless something was holding her to the D.C. area she would

be flying with him to Colorado that evening, should she accept the position the

President and this program were offering her. Before the limo even reached its

destination Buffy knew that she would be joining this man. He was honest and

earnest and while Buffy and authority did not often mesh well she believed George

Hammond would be a good man to serve under.

This story starts about a week after Buffy and George [doesn’t that sound weird?!] met.
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