Title: Summers Abroad
Disclaimer: BtVS belongs to Joss Whedon and Discworld belongs to Terry Pratchett.
Notes: This was started on train a few months back, originally only a few hundred words, I just looked it over today and it got… bigger.
Summary: There’s a new member of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch.
“No.” Not a chance.
His eyebrow raises.
And the eyes getting darker by the second.
“The Watch always welcomes new members, does it not, Sir Samuel?”
“Yes.” I’m not getting out of this one.
“Is the girl I am offering a vampire?”
I knew that one would come back to bite me in the figgin. “No.”
“Then what is the problem?”
Vetinari knows fine well what the problem is; he just wants me to say it.
“She-”, oh dear, now his eyes are lighting up.
“You do not have a problem with female Watch Officers, do you Sir Samuel? If so, we can make arrangements for Sergeant Angua and others to be transferred…”
The bastard leaves that little threat hanging, and now I know how he’s going to play this round; I take her or he takes my men away.
“Then what is the problem, Sir Samuel?”
He knows what the bloody problem is.
“It can’t be magic, can it? She is obviously not a wizard, or a witch, Sir Samuel, just someone who… uses all available tools.”
He’s leaning forward at his desk now, steepling his fingers, delivering a nice little reminder of who I am, no matter the changes over the years. In some ways the girl is just like me.
“She is a young lady who needs something with which to occupy her time here on the Disc. Goodness knows what would happen if we left her to her own devices until her sibling deems it safe enough for her to return.”
And he dumps the little bundle of annoyance on me, a sure fire way to keep me occupied too, I wonder what he’s up to? Never mind, it’s most likely long since in motion.
“I am sure Lady Sybil will not mind having another Officer around the home, to ensure her further safety, of course.”
Of course, bastard! Now I have to live with her too…
“Wouldn’t she be better with Angua, Sir?”
“No.” He sees my face fall, that godsawful smirk is back, “Dawn Summers will be living and working with you for the foreseeable future.”
He turns to the papers at his desk, without raising his head he continues, “That will be all for today Sir Samuel, I am sure, being the busy man that you are, that you will also have ‘things’ to be getting on with.”
He still manages to dismiss me the way he always does, even as ‘Sir bloody Samuel’.
Ooh, Buffy is so dead this time. I’m not a little kid anymore; I’m twenty-three years old. I may not be a slayer or a super-witch, but I can still hold my own. Mind you, that would be why I’ve dimension hopped this week.
I have a degree, a masters and I’m well on my way to a PhD, but she still treats me like the fourteen-year-old kid she jumped off that damn tower for. Not that I’m not extremely grateful that she did that, I am, but seriously, I wish, she, they, all of them, would realise I’ve grown up.
Although, if they’d heard that little rant it really wouldn’t have helped my case. I guess if I’m gonna be stuck here for a little while I may as well make the most of it.
What’s going on? Well, my powers, such as they are, are being noticed by the demon community and it’s ‘lets use the key’ time all over again. You’d think they’d realise that if it didn’t work the first twenty times, it wasn’t going to this time. But, just to make sure, the Council decided it would be best for me to be… not around for a little bit.
So, here I am, on the Disc, a little dimension I found a few years back… ok, so it was one of the first times I was drunk, and I didn’t make the best of impressions on a few people, especially Vimes in there. But I’m older now, more mature, better at taking care of myself. Which I guess Buffy does realise; she and the Patrician did spend a long time in there negotiating… say hello to the newest member of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch.
So that’s why I’m sitting here, in the outer office of the Patrician’s palace waiting for Vimes to hear the ‘good’ news, this is gonna be fun.
“Summers.” Oh, someone’s not happy.
“Sir Vimes.” And that didn’t help.
He sighs, “Just Vimes, Summers, just Vimes. Looks like you’re coming home with me then…”
What?! I’m what?!
Great, now he’s smirking.
“Ah, so you don’t know everything.”
I get up, my bag and coat in my arms, and make a pretty good go at sweeping past him, throwing him a look of complete and utter disdain, Cordelia was a good teacher, “In never said I did, Sir.”
This is gonna be fun.