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Duets... Without the Pesky Music Fouling it Up

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Summary: Just a collection of BtVS/HP crossover minis and uber minis inspired by comments to a LJ post of mine.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Harry Potter > Multiple Pairings > OtherechoFR181816,48504614,73010 May 055 Sep 05No


title: Ripe
rating: 15 (nakedness)
disclaimer: Not mine. They belong to Whedon and Rowling.
summary: Remus considers Drusilla.
AN: Inspired by tyd_e.


She had her good days and her bad days.

Utter lunatic. Seer. Vampire with a soul. He didn't know if what had been done to her could be considered good or bad. Sometimes she recalled what she had done. There was screaming then. Other times she couldn't be bothered to remember to dress herself. He and Hagrid were the only ones in the Order who weren't just a little bit frightened of her. Hagrid doted on her even, but Hagrid liked anything with fangs.

She called Remus the real puppy.

He wasn't sure exactly how he felt about that. She eerily reminded him of Bellatrix Lestrange... only she liked taking bites out of Death Eaters. One would be surprised how dysfunctional people became during a skirmish when they'd been bitten by a mad vampiress. Oh, she never drained them. Just took bites. It was a very good diversionary tactic.

A witch had restored he soul at the request of another souled vampire. Odd that, was Remus' thinking, but then he met her. Dangerous though Drusilla was, he could no more stake her than anything. She had this way about her. You wanted to just... take care of her. She seemed so frail, despite that fact that he knew for a fact that she could throw a grown man across the room like he weighed as much as a rolled-up pair of socks. Plus, she spoke to Remus like he was a man. She didn't even flinch for knowing what he was, as he had not flinched for knowing her true self.

There was also the fact that she had tried to attack Delores Umbridge. Remus and Hagrid couldn't adore her enough for that. Remus suspected he might even love her for it.

"Your brow has a crease." She said as she touched a finger to said brow. "As I stand here in this crowd I smell you. I smell you cause that's all I have left, all I'm allowed to have."

Remus did not realize he had been so deep in his thoughts. The day had gone... which was why she was up and about. He had not even heard her enter the room. But crowd? Smell? All she's allowed to have? What? Sometimes Dru just didn't make sense. Well, she made perfect sense to herself, but other people? Not so much.

"Are you hungry?"

She smiled a wicked sort of smile. "I am."

"I'll heat you up some blood then." He moved to the icebox.

"Not for blood."

Remus turned slowly to look at her with wary eyes.

"Oh I'd never hurt a hair on your sweet puppy's head, dearie... for it's you I'm hungry for."

He blinked in surprise when her long dress fluttered to the floor because that had been all she had been wearing apparently.

"Feed me."

Remus swallowed. This situation was ripe with sexual tension, and he did not know if he was enough of a gentleman to resist... or was the gentlemanly thing to do NOT to resist? He wasn't sure. Things were very confused... because she was lovely. And extremely naked. Drusilla gave a pouty little whimper and struck a demure yet coquettish pose. She batted her eyelashes and stuck out her bottom lip even more.

"You really are too much, you know?" Remus finally managed to say... in a strained voice.

"Do I have to beg, luv?"

"Certainly not. I was just a bit startled by your..."

"Brazenness? Mummy always said to be brazen was a sin."


"But she's quite dead now, all dead and buried and full of worms, and I think anything as lovely as wanting you, dearie, could never be a sin. The sin would be in the denial of such a wonder." She cocked her head to the side and whispered. "Be in me."

"A convincing argument indeed, but perhaps we should adjourn to my room. I am no exhibitionist."

"A pity, but not such a pity that I'll say no to you all to myself."

He rolled his eyes, but moved to leave. He turned when he noticed she was following him nude. "Drusilla, perhaps you should put your dress back on."

She whimpered.

"Just until we get upstairs. Why anyone at all could-"

"Whoa ho!"

"I am not a whore." Drusilla said stiffly to the gaping Charlie Weasley. "That was my grandmum that was the prostitute. Though she did teach me many things. Please do not call me a ho. It shall make me cross."

Remus was going up in flames of mortification. But at least it was just Charlie. At least it wasn't-

"Good heavens!"

Molly that had seen them. Bugger. She clapped her hands over Charlie's eyes.

"Mum, I've seen a naked woman before." Charlie said as he tried to get away from his mother. "Never one so lovely as that before, but-"


The sounds of people coming down the stairs at Number 12 echoed into the space they inhabited currently.

"Clothes!" Molly hissed. "Now!"

Remus muttered an incantation that had Drusilla's dress swooping around in the air before it put itself over her head and pulled down onto her body.

"Ooooo." She giggled. "That was just... neat!" She dropped her dress yet again, hopping up and down and clapping. "Do it again! Do it again!"

And that was what Fred, George, Ginny, Ron, and Harry saw as they entered the hallway. Remus was hoping the floor would swallow them up. Now the situation was ripe with awkward embarrassment.

"Oh sod this." He snapped before grabbing the quite naked Drusilla and apparating them both up to his room. He'd deal with the fallout later.

Remus looked down at Dru.

Much later.



The End?

You have reached the end of "Duets... Without the Pesky Music Fouling it Up" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 5 Sep 05.

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