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Some Devil

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Summary: Xander suffers a loss no one should endure

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Highlander > Xander-CenteredMarcDFR181965054,7171 Aug 051 Aug 05No
Author: mjd

Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy, Highlander, or the Lyirics to Some Devil. Others own the tv shows/movies, and the lyrics are owned by Dave Mathews.

AN: This is not my usual fic...i'm not really sure if I have enough fics out there to have a 'usual' but when I do...this won't be it.

To let you some point...I *hope* to continue this fic. The idea for this fic (the 1st chapter anyways) came from listening to Dave Mathew's Solo Album, Some Devil. Which is also the name of the song this is based off of...yes...this first chapter is a song-fic...first time i've ever done it.

If you haven't listened to the song, I'd suggest trying to find it. It is a bit dark, but it sounds beautiful with Dave on the electric guitar...anyways...I hope I have enough the that i'm not breaking rule #10 here...if I am...let me know...until then...let me know what you think


Xander stared as the fresh earth was pelted drop by drop. The unrelenting rain continued to pound on everything that made up his being. He had felt grief. He had experienced loss. It was common among his kind. It was common among those who acknowledged the darkness. But this, nothing could have prepared him for this.


One last kiss; one only

Then I’ll let you go.

Hard for you; I’ve Fallen

But you can’t break my fall.

I’m broken; don’t break me

When I hit the ground.


He wasn’t out of the game. He was young enough to know that such a dream could never truly be.

The rage began to consume him, emanating through his very being like an inferno transforming to a nova within his very soul.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

He could feel the weakness of loss begin to consume his body, trying to mercifully shut it down. But he wouldn’t allow it. For them, for both of them, he would never allow it.


Some devil; some angel

Has got me to the bones.

You said always and forever

Now I believe you baby

You said always and forever

Is such a long and lonely time


The rain continued to pelt upon the grave of his wife. They had been married for such a short amount of time, in his eyes. 25 years of blessed matrimony. A life he wouldn’t have given up for even this pain. And there was just so much pain.

The empty words of the priest, his friends and mentors couldn’t relieve him of any of this burden. His loved ones had suffered such horrendous acts. And it was his fault. It was all because of what he was.

He had been told that some would come. He knew that if their challenges were not met, there would be dire consequences. But what can you do when all of this happens, not to draw you out, but to simply get your attention.


Too drunk and still drinking

It's just the way I feel

It's alright

Is what you told me

Cause what we had was so beautiful

Feel heavy; like floating

At the bottom of the sea


Even as the intensity of the rain grew, it became a dull and numb feeling against his body. No matter how much of the rain slapped against his face, the lines and streams of tears, the tears of loss and pain, were plainly visible for those who had the courage, and misfortune, to look in his direction.

Just standing there was becoming difficult. Breathing felt like an impossibility. But he would soldier on. In their name, in their memory, he would always go on. So few would be around to remember their precious laughter. Such a sound could lift his aching heart. It was a sound he would never hear again.


You said always and forever

Now I believe you baby

You said always and forever

Is such a long and lonely time


Jessica Alyssa Lavelle. The name she had gladly taken; a name he had gladly given her. His wife of Twenty five years, and they were still so much in love. It was cut so short, too short. And there would never be anything that he could do to make it right again.

Xander’s eyes cut to the right just a few feet. His breath hitched in his throat, and had it not been for the quick arms of his teacher and friend, Connor, he would have been one with the earth.


Some devil is stuck inside of me

I cannot set it free

I wish, I wish I was dead and you breathing

Just so that you could know

Some angel is stuck inside of me

But I cannot set you free


Lisa Annabelle Lavelle. She was only 26 years old. She was so young, and still the light of her parents’ life. She had been but six months when Xander had met her mother. And barely six months later, just after her first birthday, He had been given the wondrous privilege of becoming her official father, the only one she had ever known. The only one she had ever wanted.

No parent should ever outlive their child.

He glanced down to the sobbing child not even up to his waist in height. His little Elizabeth Willow Carter, and her father, his son-in-law, were standing next to him. She was so small, so fragile, and she was a spitting image of her mother, who was a spitting image of his wife.

His wife and child had died at the hands of another Immortal.

As he became once again aware of the pelting rain, a new rage, a new focus came into being. He needed to take care of this, and he needed to do it now.

He looked down at his little granddaughter. He couldn’t loose her too; then he would truly be alone. In his heart he knew, if she became lost to him, he deserved no less.


You said always and forever

Now I believe you baby

You said always and forever

Such a long and lonely time


The End?

You have reached the end of "Some Devil" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 1 Aug 05.

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