disclaimer: These characters are not mine. They belong to the lovely JK Rowling and the wonderful Joss Whedon.
AN: For Karen aka msgordo, for her birthday. Happy birthday, my fellow brat.
Connor leaned over to the boy next to him. "Has he ever been drunk before?"
"I can tell." Connor took in the spectacle. "I think we shouldn't let him get drunk ever again."
"I think I agree." Blaise said as he watched Draco Malfoy dance about on a table in the thankfully nearly-deserted Leaky Cauldron. "Or at least we should hex his clothes to stay ON his body next time. He's so damn pale he's liable to blind someone."
Connor snickered a bit despite himself. They'd tried to stop it. Honestly they had, but Draco still had on one shoe - he'd kicked the other off at Blaise's head when he'd grabbed for the blonde. He also had on his tie and his underpants. And that was it. No place really to put his wand, so it was in one hand and a bottle of firewhiskey was in the other one. Tom the barkeep was looking highly amused. He'd said the last time he'd seen anyone this drunk and stripping in his place was Sirius Black at James Potter's bachelor party.
The door swung open and three giggling female bodies hurried in.
After a few moments, Blaise voiced the thought that had been consuming Connor's head since the females had entered. "Oh... shitting... hell."
Blaise had only just noticed who they were. Connor had been able to tell by the scent. How sad was it that he knew the smell of a Summers anywhere. Like his father there. He could tell by their scents who was with the littlest Summers, but he didn't need smell to do so. She was pretty much always with Ginny Weasley and Luna Lovegood these days.
Luna Lovegood had frozen when she noticed Draco Malfoy. Her eyes were their normal owlishly wide, but just now her mouth was hanging open in surprise too.
"Luna, come on. Don't just stand there in the doorway." Ginny snapped, then began to turn in Draco's direction. "What on earth is... whoa."
Dawn just tilted her head to the side to stare at the nearly-naked and dancing blonde. Connor wondered if that made it look any less weird and tilted his own head to the side. No, it just tilted the view. He was so busy watching to see if it looked different that he failed to notice Dawn had come up on his other side.
"Shouldn't you... do something?" She asked. "I mean, isn't he, like, you guyses friend or something?"
"Or something." Blaise muttered as Draco gave a loud whoop and kicked off his other shoe.
The foot to air missile narrowly missed Tom's head and broke a few bottles behind the bar when it hit.
That caused Dawn to glare. "If it were one of MY friends making a nearly-naked ass out of themselves-"
"Don't you think we've tried?" Blaise said sounding a bit tired. "He threw hexes. He's hell-bent and determined to make an ass out himself apparently."
"You weren't... dare I hope... hit, were you?" Luna asked.
Blaise glared at her. That's when he noticed where Ginny was. "Er, Weasley... I wouldn't..."
She was attempting to get Draco down from on top of the table.
"Now, miss..." Tom was saying, looking alarmed.
Everyone had already tried. They really had. After several near-misses with Draco's wand because he was so utterly drunk and could not decipher which one of them to hit, as he was seeing triple currently, they decided the safest course here was to let Malfoy dance himself out.
"Malfoy..." She was holding up a hand as if to assist him off the table. "Now, you need to put your pants back on at the very least, and get down off of the table."
"Hey, everybody, look! It's Potty's girlfriend! Hullo, Mrs. Potty!" He spun around and flailed a bit drunkenly.
His wand emitted a shower of purple sparks just then that narrowly missed his own head. Several people shouted in alarm at that and then again when it appeared his drunken flailing would cause him to fall, but Draco managed to right himself at the last moment.
"Don't call me Mrs. Potty." Ginny said calmly. "You know Harry and I broke it off ages ago."
Draco whooped again and danced a little drunken jig. Everyone shouted a third time when he took a misstep that nearly plunged him headfirst to the floor. Somehow, yet again, he managed to locate his balance before he did though.
"Now, that's ENOUGH!" Ginny said sounding remarkably like her mother. "Get down from there this instant before you hurt yourself or someone else, and for Merlin's sake, put your clothing back on."
"You make." He slurred, pointing his wand near her head as it emitted another shower of, this time, green sparks.
Ginny scowled as the sparks missed her, then turned to Connor in confusion.
"I think he meant... make me."
She arched her eyebrow in a way that made Luna and Dawn take a step back. Ginny whipped back around to the drunk with the smug look on his face. Draco should have remembered her quidditch playing. She wasn't as fast as Potter as a seeker, but she was still damn fast. One hand shot out and grabbed the wrist holding his wand. She yanked him down off balance, then used the other hand, made into a fist, to land a mighty blow to his face. When Draco crashed back against the table, his wand was in her hand somehow.
"Merlin's beard! Now get your arse up and put your clothes back on. Great Godric, what a spectacle."
Connor and Blaise were just staring with their mouths open. Draco gave a horrible groan. Connor jumped up immediately to check on him.
"Damn... you... you busted his lips."
Ginny blinked in surprise. "I couldn't have."
"I didn't think I hit him that hard."
Blaise had now come to stand next to Connor. He blinked in surprise at Draco's bleeding mouth. "Sweet suffering Salazar!"
Ginny started looking distinctly guilty, so Dawn and Luna moved up to check the damage for themselves. Dawn blinked in surprise. Luna gasped as her hand went to her mouth. That was pretty much all Ginny needed to know right there.
"Let's get him upstairs to his room, Connor." Blaise said.
"He's staying here?" Dawn asked. "Doesn't he have, like, a big old mansion? In, um, er..."
"Wiltshire?" Blaise added.
"Not anymore. That's why he's gone and drunk himself stupid, isn't it? Father dead, mother gone mental, no home, and Parkinson dropping him like a old habit. Yeah, but you lot can read all the gory details in that rag the Daily Prophet tomorrow. They're printing an article all about the fall of the Slytherin wonder-boy. Vultures."
Ginny was looking quite a bit upset now. Blaise had sounded so bitter and worried for Draco. The girls didn't even hesitate to follow them upstairs to Draco's room.
Blaise wasn't having any. "Get out. I think you've done enough."
"Ginny's in mediwitch training." Dawn protested. "At least let her fix his mouth."
"Oh right. As if a Weasley would ever help a Malfoy... except for maybe off a cliff."
Luna rushed him like some sort of muggle rugby player just then. Blaise shouted in alarm. He was so shocked by a physical attack that he stumbled, and because she had a hold on his robes, Luna went tumbling with him when he fell into the chair just in the room. And thank goodness for it being there otherwise they might have really hurt themselves. Ginny and Dawn used this distraction to enter the room and close the door. Ginny's healer tendencies had kicked in, and she was not leaving without helping. Plus, she felt horrible about kicking a man when he was down, so to speak. Even if it was Malfoy.
"Are you INSANE!" Blaise barked in Luna's face. "Wait a minute, I forgot to whom I was speaking. Of course you're a nutter."
Luna's eyes narrowed. Blaise had never seen her face go like it was currently. And that was his last thought before her knee found his groin rather spectacularly and not to mention painfully. He howled in agony and shoved her off of him before toppling to the floor while holding his man-bits.
"I'm not crazy." Luna snapped. "Don't call me crazy."
Connor was stomping over to her now. "What have you done?" His hand went around one of Luna's arms. He lifted her face to his, and she had to go up on her tiptoes.
"Leave her alone!" Dawn shouted before she jumped on Connor's back and commenced with the hair-pulling.
With everyone else effectively out of her way, Ginny sat on the edge of Draco's bed and healed his bleeding lips. He looked sort of... pathetic just now. For some reason Ginny didn't like that at all. He was better when he was all about the dishing out and being a nasty git. She knew about his father and mother, but she had not known they'd taken his home. What a horrible thing. She couldn't imagine having nowhere to go.
And was she really feeling sorry for Draco Malfoy?
Good grief, the world must be about to end.
She scrambled for anything at all to say because he was sort of staring at her in this confused way just now. "Sorry about boxing your mouth so hard. Must have been all those years of pent-up rage and wanting to hit you in your foul mouth for all those things you used to say about Weasleys trying to get out."
He laughed. A real laugh, not at all smug or nasty. Ginny blinked. His face was different without its patented sneer. She wasn't thinking this. She wasn't considering, but he wasn't the same person she'd known at school, was he? People could change. If Percy could finally pull his head out his arse, anything was possible. Besides, it's not as if she WAS Mrs. Potty. She and Harry had just... sort of... fizzled out. Perhaps she ought to try the supposedly reformed bad boy.
Then again, perhaps she should pull her own head out of her arse. This was Malfoy. Malfoy of the 'I hate all Weasleys' club. Hell, he was the president. Every single one of her brothers would, as Dawn said, 'shit twice and die' if they knew what she was thinking just now.
"Why are you helping me?" He asked, sounding perfectly lucid despite the stench of firewhiskey the permeated the air when he spoke.
"I honestly didn't mean to hurt you, just stun you."
"Well, I was certainly shocked."
She gave a slight snort of laughter. Dawn's cry of rage called her back to the other part of the room where Luna and Blaise had their wands drawn on one another, and Connor was sitting on Dawn.
"Oh hell." She moved to get up and help... someone, but Malfoy was quick at grabbing wrists as well.
He clamped his hand around her wrist and gave a mighty yank that had her not only toppled back onto the bed, but spilling across his still bare chest.
"What?" She tried to get off of him, but he'd wrapped an arm around her back that held her mostly pinned to his chest.
He was frightfully strong for being as wiry as he looked and as drunk as he smelled.
"Well, you had this soft look earlier, so I was thinking I'd ask you out, but that's crazy, isn't it? Yes. Crazy. I don't care though. Not really. I liked that soft look. Plus, you hit me. It wasn't like when Granger hit me. I sort of respected you for it. Well, the one of you that hit me... which I suspect is the actual you. I started seeing three of everything earlier. It's a little tiresome. But right, I wanted to ask you out on a date, and just so we're clear, I am speaking to the Ginny in the middle, so I think you ought to call me by my first name if I'm to do that. What do you think?"
Connor howled in pain because Dawn had bitten him.
"Yes, a date. Not now, of course. I'd like to be more clothed and less sloppily drunk."
Ginny blinked. He didn't SOUND drunk just now. "You aren't going to... forget when you're sober, are you?"
"Forget you? Forget the girl who hexed me? Not likely. Does that question mean you'll say yes?"
"No." Ginny considered. "I mean, I dunno."
"Oh, go on. Take a dare."
"I probably shouldn't."
"Sure you should. I'm not so bad when I like you. Ask Blaise."
"But my family-"
"Isn't the one who has to date me. Possibly kiss me too. I do like kissing quite a lot. I can be nice to your parents. No nasty comments. Swear."
"And my brothers?"
"That's asking a bit much, don't you think? Besides, we haven't even had a date. We don't even know if we like one another yet."
"You're right, of course, but I just-"
"I hate to interrupt and be all pushy, but could you work this out for yourself a bit faster? I'm trying to be more patient of a person, and normally, I'd let you talk it all out, but I feel a passing out coming on. Also, I feel more naked by the minute, the longer you delay a definite answer. I do like being naked, but not naked and awkward. Is that odd?"
"No, not so very odd." She was disarmed by his suddenly humanity in her eyes. "And yes, I think we could go out on a date. You know... just to see if we actually like one another. Of course, I will be choosing the more clothed and less sloppily drunk version of you that you spoke of for said date."
"We could bring our friends." Draco said with an amused smirk.
Ginny looked over to the area said friends had been in before. Connor had Dawn pinned to the floor. She was on her belly and hog-tied with his socks. Or her socks. Someone's socks. Point was she was tied up and screeching about it.
Luna had just tucked her wand behind her ear. Blaise Zabini was laid out on the floor next to her... stunned. Luna's hair looked a bit... frizzier than it had before though.
"Oh good grief." Ginny snapped. "Behave yourselves. Honestly. Luna, counter-curse Zabini please. And er... what's your name again?"
"Connor, could you please untie Dawn? Being tied up isn't her favorite."
"Well, she's probably just never had anyone tie her up the good way." He said almost conversationally, then immediately realized what he had said.
Ginny had both brows raised. "I'll just pretend I didn't hear that."
Behind her Draco gave a loud snore.
When he was able to, Blaise sprung to his feet and grabbed for Luna.
Ginny was quicker. She waved her wand, and Zabini froze mid-lunge. "Now enough of that. You lot best start getting along."
"What for?" Dawn asked, rubbing her now-freed wrists.
"Because I suspect I'm going to start dating that one." She thumbed in Draco's direction.
Luna made a face. "Why?"
"Because he suddenly went all human being on me. I like dating those, humans that is."
Blaise sighed, as if he didn't approve at all. "Well, I guess we should all clear out and let him sleep it off."
"You lot go on."
"Go on?" Blaise was scowling. "What about you?"
"I believe I'll stay."
"Now see here, Weasley-"
Luna interrupted as she grabbed his arm to drag him from the room. "Oh, Ginny knows what she's doing, Zabini. She's going to be a healer. I think she can take care of one drunk. Don't be such a prig just because your boyfriend asked someone else out."
"He's not my boyfriend."
"Could have fooled me."
Blaise's nostrils flared, but he followed Luna out of the room.
Dawn and Connor were staring at one another, as if unwilling to be the one who went first so the other would be behind them... unseen. Ginny scowled and shooed them with a sweeping hand motion. Dawn and Connor moved together. Almost in unison. They walked together, glaring. They tried to go through the door at the same time, and there was some shoving involved. Ginny shook her head at their childish behavior. But then again from what she had heard of both their pasts, neither had really exactly had an actual childhood, so maybe it was best they play it all out here and now.
When the door was pulled closed, Ginny laid herself on the bed next to Draco Malfoy, and again wondered what in the hell she was thinking. He was snoring loudly and a trickle of drool was coming out of the corner of his mouth. She sincerely hoped this was just a side effect of all the drinking, and he really didn't drool like a teething baby and snore like a buzz saw when he slept on a normal day. Then again, if he'd been having a normal day, he likely would have had more clothes on and not asked her out. Normal was highly overrated.
Now all that was left was for her to wait for him to wake up and see if he recalled any of this.
AN: Yes, I left this open for a sequel. Don't know if I'll actually write it, but the option is there should I decide to.