This is the sequel to Carpe Viperae
warning: some language
disclaimer: Not mine. These characters belong to JK Rowling.
AN: Some Harry/Pansy at the request of camperx.
He'd ultimately changed her whole existence without even meaning to.
All because he'd fallen on top of her while avoiding a curse. She was better because of him. More bad ass. They had a reputation for being the Auroring team you in no way wanted after your butt. He didn't even mind that she had a scar of her own now. Just a little nick interrupting her left eyebrow. He still said she was the most beautiful woman in the world. He was full of it, of course, but she never tired of hearing it.
Remus Lupin described her as Lily Potter with the volume turned up. Pansy liked that. But at the same time she hated it. She really wasn't at all like Harry's mother. She never would be, and the comparison didn't always make her at ease. From all accounts Lily Potter had been a woman with a huge heart and explosive temper. Pansy was not sweet like Lily Potter had been, but she had the temper though. Hers was more easily provoked too. Just ask Lucius Malfoy.
They'd had to pull her off of the man when he'd been arrested for the second time after his dramatic jailbreak release from Azkaban. It was his own fault for trying to kill Draco though. Yes, there had been bitter feelings between herself and Draco for a long while after they'd broken things off because she'd started being Harry Potter's girlfriend, but they were adults now. Their little tiff had been back at Hogwarts. She wasn't about to let old crazy Lucius at her Draco. Well, Ginny Weasley's Draco, but he was still HER friend. Much like Blaise. There were people she'd kill for.
Or at the very least take a bite out of for.
Lucius Malfoy had to have a bit of his ear replaced magically before being carted back to Azkaban. There was a nice big article in the Prophet after that too suggesting that perhaps being Harry Potter's girlfriend was a bit too much for Pansy. After all, if she was biting off ears...
There was precious little she couldn't handle with grace and dignity. That was why she was ideal for Harry. Her feathers didn't ruffle easily. If they did, she would have thrown in the towel ages ago. If they did, she wouldn't be not only his girlfriend, but his fiancé now. Between all the speculation surrounding the boy who lived and the staggering disapproval of Harry's friends in the beginning, a lesser woman would have folded. Utterly. Not Pansy though, she was tougher than she looked. She was going to marry the boy who lived and ensure that he kept right on living.
And she needed to quit her reminiscing and get her paperwork completed so she could get home.
A slight noise behind her made all the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. Pansy was quite certain she was not alone in her office any longer. She slipped her wand from her robes carefully, moving as little as possible. She listened again, pretending to read.
Suddenly Pansy flung herself from her chair with a sideways roll across the floor, pointing her wand in the direction of the intruder. She had half her stunning hex out of her mouth when said intruder whipped his invisibility cloak off and relieved her of her wand before she could do any damage.
"Dammit!" She shouted as she was knocked back against the file cabinet.
"Sorry!" Harry said as he tucked both his wand and her own which he had caught into the waist of his pants. "But you were going to hex me."
He was just too damn fast. Pansy scowled. He was so dangerous with that wand of his it made her insides go all gooey just thinking about it. How disgusting. She could be such a sap about Harry Potter sometimes.
"Are you hurt? I'm sorry. Really. That was an impressive roll out of the chair, by the way, and you flashed your panties at me. I was taken aback for a moment. You nearly got the drop on me. It's a good thing I'm not attracted to anyone else I go after. One sign of the underpants, and I'd be a goner."
He was so odd sometimes. He seemed more excited about the roll than the panties, but whenever she did something defensively spectacular, Harry got all goofy about it. It was one of the reasons she loved him. She could prance about in only garters and knickers with tassels on her boobies, and he wouldn't be nearly as impressed as he was the time she'd defended herself against the two Death Eaters who thought to attack her in the shower. She'd dueled them both with wet hair wearing only a towel... a towel she had actually managed to lose during said battle. Her ability to survive got him hotter than her blatant sexuality any day of the week, but when you added them together... powder keg.
"Why are you sneaking up anyhow?"
"You aren't hurt?"
"Do I look hurt, ass?" She snapped.
Harry grinned. She could have slapped him, but he'd probably like that too. It seemed the meaner she got, the more put-out she was with him, the more he adored her. They truly had a twisted relationship.
He was still grinning like a big dope. "I thought I'd kidnap you and take you home. I made dinner for us, well, actually Molly made it, but there's a picnic blanket in my living room, I know how you don't like outdoors, and there's a basket full of goodies..."
How disgustingly sweet. She ought to hex him for being so damned adorable, but then who'd take her to this fabulous indoor picnic?
"What's with the cloak?"
"Felt like sneaking."
"You're an adult, you realize." She said in a haughty tone as she pretended not to be impressed and touched by his efforts and took her chair again. "You should have outgrown sneaking by now."
"Just like you should have outgrown your pouty sulks?"
Pansy gave an offended gasp and spun back to face him. He was doing that thing she liked so much. It wasn't fair. He was leaned back against his own desk, legs crossed at the ankles, arms folded across his chest... sexy smirk on his face. Wasn't fair, that. She'd never thought anyone could smirk sexier than Malfoy or Zabini, but it was hot hot HOT on Harry.
Because you so were not expecting it. He was supposed to be Mister Goody and his Two Shoes. Those types didn't smirk with any sort of success. They just looked goofy. Oh no. Not Harry Potter. He had the smirking thing down pat. Wasn't fair at all.
"Whatsamatter, Princess Pouty Pants?"
Pansy knew her eyes bulged at that. He was so asking for it with the baiting and name-calling. That was HER department. Why was it blasted Gryffindors could never remember how territorial Slytherins were?
"Now see here, you-"
"You're working too hard. Don't make me kidnap you."
Pansy blinked. Ok, now he was really getting into Slytherin territory. Had he been talking to Blaise or Draco? Because they kidnapped people for romantic and sexual purposes all the time. Merlin help her if Harry had been taking relationship advice from any of the perverts she knew from her house at Hogwarts.
Her response to his threat was to roll her eyes and make a disbelieving noise.
Little did she know he was dead serious about the getting her out of the office by any means possible... and that included hexing her for her own good. He even hexed her in the back. As she toppled out of her chair in disbelief, she was sort of pleased that he grabbed her stunned body before she could hit the floor. She was given plenty of time to try and figure out what he had used. Her body was pliable, but she could not make her limbs function. She could move her head a bit, her eyes definitely, but she couldn't make her mouth work to start throwing swears at his head.
Harry sort of had a devious look when he laid her out on her back on the office floor. She supposed he was trying to decide how to sneak her out. The part of him she was certain could have landed him in Slytherin House came out to play... because he 'accidentally' brushed her breasts a few time while trying to situate her comfortably. He didn't seem the least bit sorry either. In fact, his green eyes gleamed in a deliciously wicked way from behind his glasses. As if he knew, and likely did, what effect he was having on her with this devious stunt.
"You know... there's loads I could do to you with you all quiet and pliable like this."
Pansy's eyes bugged.
"But I wouldn't want you to curse my balls into oblivion later."
Her eyes narrowed.
"I like them where they are, my balls... and I think you do too."
Pansy's eyes became tiny little slits. She was ticked because he was right. She DID happen to like everything on him exactly where it was situated. Plus, his talking about it was sorta getting her worked up.
"Up we go."
Harry lifted her from the floor and hoisted her onto his shoulder before putting his invisibility cloak over both of them. Likely because he didn't want to field any questions as to why Pansy Parkinson was draped over his shoulder like a semi-limp noodle. It also allowed him to rub her bum a bit without being observed... which he was currently doing.
They'd almost made it out of the building when all hell seemed to break loose.
"Has anyone seen Potter or Parkinson?"
People, well, mainly Aurors were rushing all over the place.
"Someone FIND him! Now!"
"How bad is it?"
"It's bad! Find fucking Potter and his partner! Now!"
Several people shouted in alarm when Harry whipped his cloak off of himself and Pansy. He laid her gently on the floor and counter-hexed her.
"Be angry with me later?"
Pansy gave a nod before he hauled her to her feet. Of course. Business first, pleasure after.
Tonks was standing near them looking mightily amused.
"Don't ask." Harry said. "You're better off not knowing, and I don't feel like explaining."
She gave a nod.
Pansy shifted from foot to foot. "What's going on?"
"Well, good old Uncle Lucius apparently escaped from Azkaban, and he's kidnapped Draco and Ginny. Ron's pretty mad about it."
"HE'S MAD?" Pansy shrieked. "I'll show him mad. Someone just may lose a whole body part this time." She was adjusting her robes to her satisfaction.
Harry handed her back her wand. She knew by the grim look on his face he was not just upset because this had happened when he'd hoped to sneak off with her, but because he knew she was upset because it was Draco and Harry would always be a little jealous of her feelings for Draco. Just as she would always be a bit huffy about his relationship with Granger. Harry was also jealous of her friendship with Blaise though because Slytherins didn't deal with one another like everyone else did. Harry had not quite grasped that yet.
"Where are they?" Harry asked in a clipped tone.
"That's the thing..." Tonks said. "They're at Zabini's little house.... and no one can figure out the wards on the place."
Pansy snorted. "Leave that to me."
Tonks smirked at her. "I was so hoping you'd say that."
"But what does this have to do with me specifically?" Harry asked.
Both women glared.
"Not that I'm not going! I just... I heard... you lot were looking for me."
"That's the other thing." Tonks said. "Lucius Malfoy has been specifically demanding to speak to you, Harry... because and I quote 'it's that little do-gooder's fault my son betrayed me'."
Pansy let out an offended squeak. "That was so not Harry's doing. It was mine. Mine!" She glared at Harry. "I swear to Salazar, you get credit for everything! When we have kids they'll probably list you as having birthed them in the Daily Prophet! I'll just be the egg donor!"
Tonks blinked. "Are you pregnant?" She looked at Harry with a glare. "Of all the irresponsible-"
"We aren't... I didn't... I mean..." Harry sputtered, looking both alarmed and confused.
"Oh, bloody hell! I'm not pregnant!" Pansy shouted. "Harry and I are very careful about that!"
Just then Mad-Eye Moody clomped up with Kingsley Shacklebolt. Both were chuckling.
Harry ley out a great sigh. "Thanks for shouting that out, Pans."
"Oh, can we just GO and get this over with?" She snapped. "Stupid Lucius Malfoy. Ruining my social life. I'll kill him this time. Should have stayed in prison. Just should have stayed there. Well, now it is so on. I was actually getting into the whole being kidnapped by my boyfriend bit, and Lucius had to go and ruin what looked to be a perfectly wickedly delicious evening."
Tonks leaned over to Harry. "You know, I almost feel sorry for Malfoy now."
Harry gave her a look.
"Hey, I said almost." Then she smirked. "Two sickles says Pans ends this dispute in under five minutes."
By the time Pansy and Harry got through the wards on Blaise Zabini's cottage she was boiling viciously just below the surface. And not just at Lucius Malfoy. About all of it. Mostly about the officials at Azkaban. How hard was it to keep a man in prison? Honestly. This was the second time he had escaped, and she and Harry had been the ones to come in and do a bit of a clean up last time too. It was ridiculous. She ought to get Granger to write an angry letter.
Pansy stopped in the hall. She could see Blaise sitting very still on his sofa next to Draco, who had Ginny huddled against him on his other side. What stilled Pansy was the fact that Blaise was holding a trembling Luna Lovegood in his lap. When did that happen?
Draco's eyes went wide when he saw her. "Pansy?"
"Hello, Draco. Ginny. And is that Lovegood? Hello there. Blaise, darling, I think you and I need to have a bit of a chat when this is all said and done here."
"I thought you might say that."
Another voice hissed. "I asked for Potter, and unless I missed something, you aren't a Potter as of yet, Parkinson."
"Well, no, not yet." Pansy quipped. She always got a bit snappish when she was frightened.
"I'm here." Harry said from behind her. "Keep your robes on."
"Step into the room, Potter. Let us have a talk, shall we?"
Ginny shook her head 'no'.
"Stop that!" Lucius shouted.
Draco sprang to his feet and yelled so hard that spittle flew from his lips. "Don't point that wand at her!"
Ginny screamed and jumped to her feet to block whatever Lucius was going to do to Draco, so Pansy moved. She mimicked her roll out of her chair earlier. She rolled into the room and aimed her wand where everyone's eyes were telling her Lucius Malfoy was.
Simple. Elegant. Effective.
And she'd done it while lying on her back and looking at him upside down. Her arm and wand were extended over her head still as Lucius Malfoy stiffened up and toppled to the floor. There was one pure moment of stunned silence before the body hit the carpet with a loud thud.
Then Harry stomped into the room. "Are you INSANE!"
Pansy lowered her wand and tucked it away. She folded her arms across her chest and remained on the floor. "I did not feel like dealing with his crap. Again. You made home sound all delightful earlier, and his escaping and hostage-holding bullshit ruined it. I am pissed off, Harry. Pissed the hell off. I wanted this business over. Just feel lucky that I only used a binding hex this time, but lemme tell you something, he escapes again, I'm killing him. For real. Seriously. I am tired of it. Can we not put him in a cell he can't escape from? I mean, would that be so difficult?"
"Is it too much to ask that you and I don't have to play a rousing game of 'Round up the Malfoy' every couple of years?"
"Or is it that I stole your thunder? We can just tell everyone you stunned him since you'll be the one birthing our children too!"
"Did you get her pregnant?" Blaise said in deadly tone.
Draco was back on his feet. "Scarhead, you better not have-"
"Oooo." Ginny said, looking less frightened and more excited. "Can I give the baby shower? Muggles do it all the time. Hermione told me. There's gifts and food and stuff. It's fun."
"Bloody everlasting hell!" Pansy snapped. "I am not pregnant!"
"Then why-" Blaise started.
"You had better not be lying just to protect his worthless arse!" Draco shouted.
Pansy sat up, pointing her wand. "Harry's arse is very worthwhile, I'll have you know! It's also perfectly shaped!"
"Yes, everything seems to be well under control in here." Tonks said loudly as she entered the room with a grinning Kingsley behind her.
"Cousin Dora." Draco said with a nod.
"Cousin Drake." Tonks returned.
Then next thing everyone knew, Blaise Zabini's house was filled with Aurors and Ministry officials. Blaise was obviously irritated about this. He was mumbling viciously and with plenty of swears under his breath, and Luna Lovegood seemed to be attempting to soothe him... with moderate success surprisingly.
Harry put a hand under Pansy's arm and helped her off the floor. She shoved him away. He grabbed her into a hug and refused to be put off a second time.
"You were brilliant, by the way. Absolutely bloody brilliant. I just... you're fearless." He was whispering into her dark hair.
"So are you."
"Not like you though." His hands were rubbing her back. "You frighten me sometimes, Pansy. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if you weren't here."
"I'm adequately flattered by that. I don't mean to frighten you. I just want to be brave... like you."
"You are. Any more bravery on your part, and I may have heart failure."
"I just want to be as good as you are. I know that's not possible, but I want people to think I'm your Auroring partner because I can keep up, not because I'm your girl."
"You're very silly."
"There's no need to be insulting."
Harry chuckled. "I wasn't... you are far too prickly sometimes, did you know? I just meant, you don't have to prove anything. Not to me, not to anyone. I liked you before all of this. I'll love you always... no matter what."
She shoved back in his embrace to look at him. "You... you love me? Me? Seriously?"
"Well, I didn't ask you to marry me for the heck of it, you know."
"You love... me. Me."
"Well... yeah. I reckon you're the most interesting and best thing that's ever happened to me."
"Oh vomit." Blaise was standing next to them.
Draco was standing next to him, looking horrified. He didn't get to do that for long though because an Auror pulled him off to the side to start asking questions.
"Let's get out of here." Pansy said.
"You can't!" One of the Junior Aurors on the scene squealed.
Pansy got the nastiest look on her face. "You going to stop me then?"
"There's questions and paperwork-"
"That can happily wait until tomorrow morning." Pansy snapped. She just wanted to be alone with Harry. That was all she wanted right now. Was that too much to ask?
Pansy stuck her wand right under his nose. "Don't make me melt your face."
He gave a frightened shriek.
"I'm tired, and I want to have indoor picnic supper with my boyfriend, followed by insane amounts of sex. I mean, you just wouldn't believe how cranky I get when I'm sexually frustrated."
Tonks was laughing so hard she'd fallen on the floor holding her sides. Harry had turned red. Sometimes Pansy was so frightfully honest. She knew he liked that about her, but at the same time it made him blush a bit.
Kingsley clapped the Junior Auror on the shoulder. "Scroggins, I think Parkinson and Potter can leave the rest up to us tonight and just file a report in the morning. I think that would be best, don't you? I mean, it's not my face at risk or anything, but I can't imagine you want to look like a candle that's been left out in the sun, do you? She's quite excellent with hexes, you know. Top marks there."
Scroggins swallowed nervously. "Yes. File a report in the morning. Excellent notion."
"Thank you." Pansy said, whipping her wand from under his nose. She gave Kingsley a curious look.
"Just doing my part to keep faces from being melted."
Pansy threw back her head and cackled with amusement.
"I don't see how you put up with her." Kingsley said to Harry. "Sometimes she's a bit scary."
"That's all part of her charm." Harry said with a smirk.
That said, Pansy and Harry apparated out with a loud pop.