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Felt Like Nowhere

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Summary: Buffy left with no intention of coming back... What if she has to? AU after season 2. Uses BtVS and Angel characters

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
BtVS/AtS Non-Crossover > DramaKarenUFR1533,228162,57327 Aug 0526 Oct 05No

Felt Like Nowhere

Title: Felt Like Nowhere

Author: Karen U


Category: BtVS/Angel

Pairings: Willow/Riley, Faith/Graham, Cordelia/Xander, Fred/Gunn, Buffy/Lindsey

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc.

Distribution: ask first

Rating: 15 for now

Spoilers: AU after Becoming (season 2 BtVS). A lot of characters/situations

through the end of season five BtVS and somewhere around season 3 Angel will

be used, but re-worked to fit with my story line.

Summary: Buffy left with no intention of coming back... What happens if she has to?

Notes: Okay, basically, in this fic, Buffy left after season 2 and never came back. She's still in Los Angeles, which means that the gang in LA has a very different dynamic, as does the Scooby Gang. You'll find out very quickly who stayed in Sunnydale, who ended up in LA, and how they got there. Just bear with me.

Part One

{ ... Life was never what I thought... Never what I wanted it to be... Had a plan, couldn't follow... Had a dream, it was hollow... Everywhere felt like nowhere... Everything was so boring... Life was never what I wanted... Never what I thought... -Natasha Bedingfield, Peace of Me... }

She tucked her long red hair behind her ear, a frown pursing her lips as she looked at the computer screen, her fingers periodically tapping against the keys. She made no sign that she noticed when someone entered the room, but showed no surprise when a cup of coffee was set down in front of her.

"It's getting late, you know. It's nearly two."

"Says the vampire that's bringing me coffee," Willow Rosenberg said with a small smile, tilting her head to the side as she looked over at Angel. The ensouled vampire shrugged slightly before going over to take a seat on the couch. Willow let her gaze move over him for a moment, the young woman pleased to see that the vampire didn't appear to be bearing any visible injuries. "How was patrol?"

Angel shrugged. "Not bad. I took one cemetary, Faith took another, and we met in the middle. I think Graham and Riley did a quick sweep over some of the others, but they came up with nothing. Faith and I took out several vampires, but nothing really unusual. Things have been pretty quiet lately-"

"Which usually means something bad is going to happen soon," the redhead muttered, and Angel shrugged. That much often seemed to be true.

"You've got me there. Anything showing up on the 'net?" the vampire wanted to know, and Willow sent him a tolerant sort of smile.

"Not anything that you mean. I'm just putting the finishing touches on a paper. Such is the life of a college junior, you know," the young woman replied, and Angel nodded quietly. Sometimes he forgot that Willow and the others - well, Willow and Cordelia, anyway - were still students. Both girls were juniors at UC-Sunnydale, both of them there due to free rides they had earned because of excellent grades and exemplery SAT scores. With Willow, that hadn't been surprising, but it had come as a bit of a shock with Cordelia. Until she'd gotten the scholarship, no one had realized how smart the former May Queen was.

"Any luck talking Faith into going back to school?" Angel asked, and Willow let out a snort.

"Yeah, right. We're lucky we got her to take her GED. And she whined about that for months. There is no way we're ever getting her to go to college," the redhead said, smiling as she thought about the not-quite-twenty year old vampire Slayer that had shown up in Sunnydale a little over three years before... Just a few weeks before Angel had reappeared in a way that was still unexplained. All they really knew was that he had shown up at the Crawford Street mansion he'd used as Angelus, probably in the exact spot that Acathla had once been, the vampire cold, naked, and half-crazy. Truthfully, Angel didn't really remember much of those first few weeks back, and if Willow hadn't been with Faith when he'd first run into the girls in the woods, then the brunette Slayer probably would have killed him instead of just knocking him out and chaining him up. He'd steadily improved over the next several weeks, eventually returning to some semblance of his normal self, but no one knew how it was that he'd managed to return, the vampire included. Willow and Giles had tried to research it for awhile, but had come up with nothing. In the end, they had decided that asking questions just made their heads hurt, so they had all accepted that Angel was back... Well, after a time. No one could really blame Giles for keeping his distance for awhile, not with what Angel had done as Angelus, but even the Watcher had come to admit that the vampire with a soul and the vampire without a soul were two different beings.

Xander still didn't like him, but no one really cared.

"True enough," Angel said with a sigh, then looked over at Willow. "You going to be up for awhile?"

The redhead nodded toward the cup of coffee that the vampire had brought her. "If I actually drink that, then yeah," she told him, and Angel smiled. He'd been around the redhead enough by now to know what caffeine did to the young woman. It was actually pretty endearing, kind of cute to watch, but he was a bit tired now, and not really up to staying up with her.

"No, you won't. It's decaf," he told her as he rose from the couch and headed off to his room, barely flinching when a throw pillow bounced off his back. Willow's aim had really improved over the years. "Good night, Willow."

"Good night, Angel," the redhead replied, smiling slightly as she watched the vampire disappear down the hall towards his room, then turning her attention back to her paper. Done making the corrections, she clicked for it to print, turning to the printer as the sheets began coming out. As she did, a picture caught her eye, and the young woman frowned, eyeing the photograph of what had once been her two best friends. Sighing, she shook her head, sadness entering her normally cheerful face. It had been three and a half years since the other girl had left, leaving nothing more than a letter for her mother... A mother that was no longer even around. She wondered what would have happened if Buffy had known... Would Buffy have come back, or... Shaking her head, Willow reached out and took her term paper from the printer, preparing it to be turned in the next day, then shutting down the computer and heading for bed, shoving all thoughts of Buffy Anne Summers from her mind. She didn't know where the Slayer was, if she was ever going to come back.

And sometimes, she didn't even care.
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