Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Rules for Challenges

Absolutely Spiffing

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking

Summary: George and Fred Weasley have decided they've had it with Katie Bell's ill-fated crush on Oliver Wood. They'll even enlist the help of their older brothers to help their friend get over the quidditch tyrant.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Harry Potter > Non-BtVS/AtS Stories > Theme: RomanceechoFR15818,486252924,49428 Apr 0328 Apr 03Yes

snoggus interruptus



He jumped and spun about. Bill and Charlie looked as well. They'd been talking to Professor McGonagall who was asking the three of them all sorts of questions about why they were at Hogwarts and what they been up to since they graduated. First quidditch match of the new term and Percy was there to watch, as promised.

Angelina Johnson and Alicia Spinnet were rushing up to him in their quidditch robes. Fred and George's girlfriends, respectively.

"Hey, Percy." Angelina purred. "We are SO very glad you made it."

He blinked. She had never looked at him like that. Alicia had the same dreamy look on her face. Percy was starting to feel like he'd hung the damn moon or something. Bill and Charlie were grinning like maniacs. McGonagall was looking suspicious.

Alicia noticed. "Pardon us, professor, but we need to steal Percy for a minute. His girlfriend is in desperate need of some encouragement... or something."

The two of them fell into rather helpless giggles before dragging Percy off. He looked a bit panicked.

McGonagall looked at Bill and Charlie. "Girlfriend?"

"Katie Bell." Bill supplied.

A bright smile broke out on McGonagall's face. "But I thought..."

Charlie grinned. "Wood's old news with her. Percy amazingly cured her of that with lots of things that would make me blush a very lot if I decided to go into detail in front of you, professor."

McGonagall chuckled. "You think I don't know anything about snogging, Mr. Weasley?"

"No offense, professor, but I'd rather not consider it."

She cackled loudly. "You'll sit with myself in the teachers' box then?"

"If you'd like that." Bill said.

"I would. I want to hear all about Egypt and Romania. I'm delighted to have three of my best students visiting."

"Well..." Bill said smirking. "Percy might sit down in Gryffindor with Hermione and Ginny."

"Or possibly behind Katie on her broom." Charlie muttered.

McGonagall chuckled again. "Don't tell me Miss Bell actually got your younger brother on a broom. He always hated flying. Was quite hopeless at it as I recall."

Charlie grinned. "All right. We won't tell you then."

She swatted him on the arm rather playfully.

"Ouch!" Charlie said laughingly and grabbed his arm.

McGonagall gave him a look that said she was both amused and exasperated by him. He was quite used to that particular look, having been on the receiving end of it more times than he could remember in his days as a student here.


Percy was being pulled along.

"Oy, Weasley!" Seamus Finnigan called. "Couldna stay away, ay?"

"Not from Katie." Percy called.

Seamus blinked. Apparently he hadn't been expecting that answer.

Angelina and Alicia pulled him towards the pitch. Several more people seemed quite shocked to see him. He just waved as he was pulled along. Suddenly he found himself on the platform the team took flight from.

"Katibell, we brought you a present." Angelina said before shoved Percy forward quite forcefully.

He stumbled and Katie actually had to catch him.

"Percy." She sounded surprised.

He was blushing.

"What are you... you came for the game?"


She grabbed both sides of his face and kissed him with a great deal of passion.

"WOO HOO!" Fred whooped.

"Get 'em!" George cried.

"It's not the loo, but I guess it'll do, ay?"

"It's not the hall closet, but that's all right."

"It's not the attic, but at least the ghoul won't interrupt."

"It's not like being under the kitchen table, but who cares?"

"Hey Perce, what DOES the back of Katie's neck taste like?" Fred looked at George. "He's trying to lick it from the front again, you know."

George cocked his head to the side. "Nah, Fred, that's not licking. I think he's trying to eat her face this time."

Angelina started swatting at both of them with her broom.

Katie pulled back, blushing furiously.

"All right." Angelina said. "Everyone but Katie and Percy out."

Ron looked at her in irritation. "Angelina..."

"I'm the captain. Out! All of you!"

Harry was grinning like a maniac. He winked at Katie before shuffling out behind a mumbling Ron. It took some ushering with her broom for Angelina to get rid of Fred and George. They still managed to offer their own special brand of encouragement.

"Percy and Katie are so not in a tree.. but soon they'll be K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

"He'll see London. He'll see France. Perce'll touch Kate's underpants!"

"There once was a Weasley from Nantucket-"

Angelina interrupted though. "No!"

"Hickory dickory dock. Percy hopes she'll grab his-" George began.

"Stop that!"

Fred started singing. "Hot crossed buns-"

"SHUT UP!" Angelina said shoving the both of them out finally. She looked at Katie then. "Five minutes, sweetie. Make 'em count."

Katie was giggling like mad.

"Still want to date me?" Percy said weakly. "I could understand if you didn't."

"How else am I to keep your brothers from picking on you?"

"Oh so this is like a mercy dating?"

She laughed again. "I suppose... in the sense that if you don't start kissing me really soon, Weasley, I'll have you crying for mercy."

"Missed me a bit then?"

"More than you will ever know." She plucked his glasses off his face and hooked them in the front of his sweater.

Percy cupped the side of her face as he leaned into her and brushed his lips over hers.

Five minutes later found them leaned against the wall all sorts of tangled up around each other making everyone whose eyes landed on them blush furiously... because Percy hands couldn't really be seen. They were under Katie's quidditch robes... somewhere.

"Ohhh... snoggus interruptus." Fred said.

George snorted. "Like we aren't used to seeing this by now."

"Looks more like gropus interruptus though."

"Mmm. I quite agree. Scandalous."

"I'm shocked."

"I'm quite proud, myself."

"Wow." Alicia muttered.

"I can do that." George offered.

"Prove it."

He moved towards her. Ron stepped in between them.

"Ah! After the game! After!" He looked at Katie and Percy. "And stop that! It's icky!"

Percy and Katie separated a bit.

"Aw, is Ickle Ronnikins upset by his older brother getting some touch in before the game?"

Ron's jaw dropped.

Madam Hooch was blowing her whistle.

Everyone mounted their brooms. They started flying out.

Percy leaned in and kissed Katie's cheek. "Good luck."

"See you in a bit."

"See you the rest of my life."

She blushed and looked away. Her smile could have split her face. "Fred and George are right. You ARE perfect... for me."

"How do you do that?"


"Make me feel like I do everything right."

"Because you do, and I'm utterly in love with you." Katie pecked him on the lips and took to the air.

Percy leaned out. "HEY, BELL!"

She turned sharply in the air to face him.


The entire quidditch team, and a lot of the crowd sitting near where he was leaned out cheered furiously.


Lee Jordan's voice carried across the pitch. "Well, we have our first and second declarations of the day before the game even starts... Percy Weasley loves our Katie Bell in return. Thank goodness because she was worse about babbling about him than she was Wood-"


"Sorry, professor. Congratulations, Miss Bell. And congrats to having better breasts than Harry Potter."


Harry blushed darkly and looked at Katie in horror.

Katie started giggling. Percy was still leaning out watching her fly. He'd put his glasses back on at some point. His eyes followed her with such intensity. He REALLY saw her. Then she blew him a kiss before he disappeared to make his way to the Gryffindor section where Hermione and Ginny were already cheering.

She really ought to learn never to say never. She was never gonna fall in love again. Pfft! Like she could have stopped this. She was gone the very second light had flooded his room, and she saw him on the floor, shirtless, with his wand on her. Utterly gone. No hope for getting away from it. She'd have a better chance of getting Snape to don a leisure suit and go disco dancing. Never say never.

Because she was hopelessly ass-backwards in love with Percy Weasley.

And he loved her back.

And he thought she had better boobs than Harry.

All was absolutely spiffing with her world.



The End

You have reached the end of "Absolutely Spiffing". This story is complete.

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking