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Absolutely Spiffing

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Summary: George and Fred Weasley have decided they've had it with Katie Bell's ill-fated crush on Oliver Wood. They'll even enlist the help of their older brothers to help their friend get over the quidditch tyrant.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Harry Potter > Non-BtVS/AtS Stories > Theme: RomanceechoFR15818,486252924,49428 Apr 0328 Apr 03Yes


title: Absolutely Spiffing
author: echo
rated: 15 (swears and innuendo)
summary: George and Fred Weasley have decided they've had it with Katie Bell's ill-fated crush on Oliver Wood.
disclaimer: Not mine. The Harry Potter characters belong to JK Rowling.
note: pre-OotP



She was never NEVER gonna fall in love with anyone ever again.

It was stupid. It hurt. And maybe she was stupid for ever falling for a person like Oliver Wood anyhow. The only reason he'd ever noticed her even at all was because she knew how to throw a damn quaffle better than most of the boys. Hell, the only person she couldn't out throw was Angelina.

But what was there to notice anyhow? Stringy hair that had been pale blonde once, but now was this horrible color that reminded her of honey. She had no shape. She was scrawny. Where her friends Angelina and especially Alicia were curvy, she was a stick. She looked just like a boy and had the chest to prove it. Hell, the almost fifteen year old Harry had better tits than her (she'd seen him shirtless once). So she always wore baggy clothing and robes that were a bit big for her. She kept that wild blonde hair in a braid. Not that it EVER stayed. Little pieces were always falling out. She played quidditch and studied. She tried to be happy.

But Katie Bell was miserable.

Because, Oliver Wood, the boy, no man, she had a crush on since she was eleven had gotten married last week. To some muggle tart.

She could have just died when George told her.



Katie slid into the booth in the Leaky Cauldron across from George and Fred Weasley with a bright smile. She flipped her blonde braid over her shoulder. She smiled at Alicia Spinnet, one of her best friends.

"Hey, Katie." Alicia said warmly.

"Katibell." Fred and George said in unison. She sort of loved their nickname for her.

"Hey Ali. Gred. Forge. How's Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes?"

"Lucrative." Fred said with a devilish smile. He held out his hand. "Candy?"

She stared at the sweet in his hand. "Thank you... no."

Fred retracted his hand. "Clever girl."

"Learned from experience."

Both Weasley boys smirked at her. Katie had always been a favorite target of theirs because she was such a good sport. She rarely got angry at them when they pranked her. Except for that time they'd accidentally magically handcuffed her and Oliver Wood together in their pajamas. Katie had been VERY upset about that for some reason.

"So where's Angelina?" Katie asked.

"Couldn't make it. Her mum's making her do 'family time'." Fred said forlornly.

Katie smiled. She thought Fred's crush on Angelina was so sweet. Too bad Fred wasn't. He was such a little bastard sometimes. Angelina was irritated with Fred more often than not. But that in no way meant she didn't return his feelings a little. She'd been a bit crazy about him since he took her to the Yule Ball last term.

"So what are you gonna be about this summer, Katibell?"

"My broom and a quaffle."

Alicia snickered. "Typical Katie."

Katie ignored her friend's little dig. So she liked quidditch a lot? Big deal. So did... no one in particular. "So how did Angelina take it when you told her we were electing her Captain?"

"I think we should have asked Harry too." Alicia said. "He's part of the team as well."

"Harry's not gonna care." Fred said. "Anything will be easier for him after the quidditch tyrant."

Alicia kicked him under the table.

"Ouch! Alicia! What was that for?"

Alicia was making the oddest face at Fred.

"What?" Katie said.

"All Harry cares about is the snitch. Which is good, him being seeker and all." George said. "I'm worried about who's gonna be the new keeper."

Alicia kicked George under the table.

"Ouch! Alicia! What'd you kick me for?"

Katie looked thoughtful for a moment. "What about Ron?"

"Ron?" Fred asked.

"Weasley. Your brother."

"I dunno. Ron's always played chaser. I suppose we could train him up a bit. Unless one of the ladies wants to step in and fill Oliver's shoes."

Alicia kicked Fred again.

"Ouch! Alicia, what in the hell is with you?!"

"Yeah, perhaps it should be you, Katibell. You always did pay more attention to Wood than the rest of us." George chuckled.

Katie blushed scarlet. Alicia kicked George again.

"Dammit, Alicia! If you kick me one more time, I'm gonna make you a very sorry girl! What's wrong with you?"

But Katie had picked up on it. "Alicia, if I mention Oliver, are you going to kick me as well? Why don't you want to talk about Oliver? He get a girlfriend or something?" She chuckled hollowly. The very idea of Oliver having a girlfriend made her feel sick. The lot of them always acted like this when Oliver got a new girlfriend.

Katie noticed the dead silence. The other three occupants of the table looked decidedly uncomfortable. Her crush on Oliver was well known among the friends, but none of them ever spoke of it. Not around Katie at least. But they knew. They had even tried to hook her up with the twins' best friend Lee Jordan once to help her 'get over' Oliver. Much to Lee's irritation. He still wouldn't look at her properly. Not that she blamed him. All she'd talked of was quidditch and Oliver in the seventy-two hours their relationship had lasted.

But the discomfort level at the table was beginning to alarm her. This was more than 'Wood has a new girlfriend' silence.

"What?" She said in a bit of a panic.

George cleared his throat. "Um, Katie.... Oliver got married last week."

She felt all the blood drain from her face. Lead settled in the pit of her stomach. Married? Married! Last week? He hadn't even INVITED her. "To who?" She said softly.

"I dunno. Some muggle. What was her name?"

"Dunno." Fred said.

"Well, then how do you know he got married?"

"We went."

Katie felt like the whole damn world had been yanked out from under her. He'd invited Fred and George, and not her. She who had almost always defended him when everyone else on the team had said he was a tyrant.

"Katie?" Alicia said.

"I.... I have... hafta go." Katie jumped up and ran off before they could see her tears start to fall.

"You idiots!" Alicia hissed before getting up to chase after her fellow chaser.

Fred and George sat there for a minute in silence.

They'd seen the tears.

"Oliver's a stupid git." George said.


"Katie's fabulous. If I didn't fancy Alicia so much, I'd ask her out myself. She gives new meaning to the words absolutely spiffing. She's the best. Smart, funny, pretty, and one hell of a flyer. How come he just couldn't like her back? She's only had a crush on him since we were eleven. Why couldn't he just go out with her, once, so she could figure out for herself what a prat he was?"

"Poor Katie. I thought she had gotten over the quidditch tyrant."

"Me too."

"I feel bad, George."

"Me too."

"She was about to cry."

"I know."

"I don't like feeling bad."

"Me neither."

"I don't like our Katibell being upset over that wanker."


"We should do something about it."

"Like what?"

Fred got a devious grin on his face.


It was three days later that Katie got an owl from Fred and George apologizing and asking her to come stay at their home, the Burrow, for the last few weeks before school started up again. They were stealing Harry Potter for his fifteenth birthday, and Ron and Harry's friend Hermione Granger would be there. There was to be a party for Harry. The twins promised her a good time.

Katie considered sending them a howler back that said she didn't need their pity.

But the last thing got her.

All their brothers and Harry would be there. They could all play quidditch. That meant Charlie Weasley. Charlie Weasley who had been a seeker for Gryffindor. Charlie Weasley who had been the captain for his team. Charlie Weasley who was very handsome and who studied dragons. She'd noticed him at the Triwizard Tournament last year. Katie would love to see him fly. She just loved quidditch players. All her friends were quidditch players. She was a quidditch player. She'd had a crush on a quidditch player for a large portion of her life.

She also didn't really want to sit around for the rest of the summer and mope about Oliver. She had to move on. Oliver was married, and Katie just needed to face that it was never gonna happen. So she grabbed a piece of parchment and wrote out her reply to Fred and George. Then she went upstairs to pack.

Besides she'd kinda of like to see what Harry was like away from school.


"Have you seen this?" Charlie Weasley said with a smirk on his freckled face as he walked into the living room of his brother's small apartment in Cairo.

Bill looked up to see what Charlie had. And grinned. He'd liked the last week of hanging out with his brother the dragon tamer.

"What's with the grin?"

Bill held up his own letter from Fred and George.

"Those two are ridiculous." Charlie said.

"But their hearts really are in the right place this time."

"They're crazy though."

"I think we should do it anyway."

"Oh I didn't say I wasn't gonna do it. Did they write the same thing to you as they did to me?"

Charlie and Bill switched parchments.

Bill grinned. "I'm definitely in."

"In what?"

Both men looked up to see the third eldest Weasley looking at them suspiciously.

"Nothing, Perce." Bill said, winking at Charlie.

Percy rolled his eyes. "Fine. Have your secrets. I just came to tell you that I finished my assignment for the ministry earlier-"


Percy glared at Bill. "So we can go home early."

"Let's go then."

"It's the middle of the night there."



Katie Bell had taken to Molly Weasley instantly. Not that she loved her own mother any less, but there seemed to be no bounds to the kindness Molly could show. Ginny had turned out to be just as great. A bit shy perhaps, but sweeter than any person Katie knew. Harry and Hermione had yet to arrive. Bill, Charlie, and Percy were still in Cairo and were not due back until later in the week.

Dinner had been a noisy affair, and the whole family wasn't even in attendance. Katie could only imagine how it would be when everyone was there. Fred and George had doted on her to the point of being nauseating. Molly had even scolded them for it. Ron had talked quidditch with her. It seemed Fred and George had mentioned her suggestion that Ron be the new keeper. So Ron was very keen on her now.

Mr. Weasley had been quite delightful as well. He had all this muggle stuff he wanted to show off. He always did this to new guests apparently. Fred and George had groaned, but Katie had enjoyed her tour by Arthur Weasley.

And being an only child Katie was not used to all the hustle and life in the Burrow. Molly had told her she would be sleeping in Percy's bed until he, Bill, and Charlie got there. Then she'd be regulated to a cot in Ginny's room with the lone Weasley girl and Hermione.

Katie didn't mind. She was enjoying herself already. She'd run into Ron in his boxers in the bathroom. The house was so cozy. She loved it. Ron, of course, had looked like he wanted to die. His whole body had gone red. Well, all of what she could see, which was quite a lot. And she'd been scandalously appreciative in her looking. The youngest Weasley boy was going to be a bit of a hottie when he was a just a few years older. He already had the height going on. He was just as tall as Fred or George.

She stripped down to her own boxers and camisole top before crawling into Percy Weasley's bed. She almost giggled at the thought. Straight-laced Percy. Prefect Percy. Head Boy Percy. He'd been in the same year as... no one in particular. Percy was probably the only person Fred and George pranked more than her. His bed sure smelled good though. Was it him or what the linens were washed in? She pulled the blanket up to her chin and was almost asleep when she heard a noise.

Katie bolted straight up in the bed. She was reaching for her wand from under the pillow when she felt the side of the bed dip under someone's weight. Her fingers closed around the wood as she let out a terrified scream.

Whatever was on the bed with her scrambled off and sounded like they fell to the floor quite hard.

"LUMOS!" She shouted.

Light sprang form the end of her wand.

She was allowed a moment to gape at a very shirtless man who had his wand just as pointed at her as she had hers at him before Ron came crashing through the door with his wand drawn. Thankfully he was wearing his robe. Guess he'd learned his lesson about prancing about half naked.


"I'm all right, Ron."

Fred and George crashed into Ron then, sending him into the room. They had not opted for bathrobes. Then two more redheaded men filled in the door frame. Both half dressed as well. Katie was quite distracted by all the bare-chestedness.

"Is everything all right?"

Katie started to blush at the sound of Mr. Weasley's voice.


"I'm fine."


The lamps hanging from the ceiling glowed with life, revealing herself and what had to be Percy Weasley still pointing their wands at one another. All the Weasleys in the hall sort of stepped into the room. She was a bit dumbstruck. That was what Percy Weasley hid under his robes? He'd filled out a bit since he'd graduated Hogwarts. Great Merlin, it was official. There were no ugly men in the Weasley family.

The two oldest were looking at Katie perched in the bed with only her boxers and cami on. Katie quickly dropped her wand and yanked the blanket on the bed over as much of her as she could. She knew she was skinny and all arms and legs, but they didn't have to stare like that.

"What happened?" Arthur asked.

"My guess is Perce tried to get into bed with her." Bill said with a wide grin. "Not that I blame him a bit."

Katie blushed darkly.

"Bill!" Mr. Weasley hissed, noticing Katie's blushing.

"I didn't know she was there!"

"Sure you didn't, Perce." Charlie said in an overly even tone.

"It's MY bed!"

"Speaking of beds." Ron muttered. "If everyone's quite all right, and there'll be no more shouting, I'm going back to mine."

"To dream of someone whose name sort of rhymes with Burt died on me." Fred said.

Charlie actually snickered.

Ron went splotchy and stalked off.

"Oh come on, Ickle Ronnikins! Do you know how hard it is to find something that even remotely rhymes with Hermi's name?"

"Sod Off!"

"Ron!" Mr. Weasley snapped.

"Bee-sotted." George said.

"I'll say." Fred agreed. "Sweet dreams, Katibell. Smashing jammies, by the way, darling."

"I quite agree. Smashing. A bit scarce on the material, but who'd complain?"

Fred and George left as well. Katie was turning a bit pink from their comments about her sleeping attire.

"Well..." Mr. Weasley said. "If all's well, then I'll leave the rest of you to sort it out and turn back in myself."

Bill grinned and tucked a strand of errant hair behind his earringed ear. " 'Night, Dad."

Arthur rolled his eyes and shuffled back towards his bed.

"Hey, Perce, you wanna quit pointing your wand at the lady?" Charlie said.

Percy Weasley had the worst scowl on his face as he tucked his wand into his pants. Katie pulled the blanket up higher.

"Come on, Perce. There's room for one more downstairs."

"No." Katie said throwing off the blanket and scrambling to her feet a bit awkwardly. "This is your bed. I'll find somewhere else."

All three of them were staring at her rather oddly.

"What?" She asked.

Tall, thin, blonde. Muscular for a girl. They were all seeing the same thing. Percy scowled again as he got to his feet. He didn't want to think about it. He yanked his shirt back over his head and stomped out of the room.

"Don't mind him he's just sexually frustrated." Bill grinned. "Goodnight... Katie, was it?"



"I know."

Bill just grinned and turned out of the room.

Charlie smiled at her then and pointed. "You're in the same year as Fred and George. You play quidditch for Gryffindor."


"That explains it."

"Explains what?"

"That nice shape you have. I'll have to agree with Fred and George's smashing" Charlie grinned. "Goodnight, Katie."

She just knew all the blood in her body was in her face as he pulled the door shut.

Not only were they handsome but charming as well.
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