Hubble, Muggle, Toil and Trouble
Disclaimer: HP and BtVS belong to their respective owners. I own nothing.
A/N: I’m wanting to pair Sirius up with someone in the upcoming chaps. Any suggestions on who? Preferably someone from the Buffy-verse, but I’m happy to consider HP as well. So far, I’ve got one Faith vote. Thanks much.
Timeline: Summer term, Chamber of Secrets.
Hubble, Muggle, Toil and Trouble
“You know, I think I prefer Dawn much better when she’s at Hogwarts all day.”
“I’m inclined to agree with you.” Giles muttered, his eyes never leading the book he was reading. “As much as I love her, of course.”
“Of course.” Sirius agreed, his gaze just as keenly focused on the dirty magazine in front of him.
Above them, the thumping stopped and both Sirius and Giles let out a sigh of relief. During the summer term at Hogwarts, all of Dawn’s classes were cancelled to give the students more time to prepare for the exams they would be taking in other subjects. She’d gotten tired of having to fighting off slayers to use the gym equipment downstairs so she’d hung a punching bag in her room. The room directly above the one Giles and Sirius were sitting in.
The brief respite was ruined by the sound of something breaking upstairs followed by a string of curses.
Giles rolled his eyes. “Is everything alright up there, Dawn?”
“Fine.” She yelled back. “I just dropped a plate.”
“I knew we shouldn’t have let her take her breakfast upstairs.” Sirius said with a smirk. “She’s an accident waiting to happen.”
Giles gave him an incredulous look. “Microwaves.”
Sirius blushed and went back to his magazine. In the year he’d been living at the slaying centre, he’d caused two microwaves to explode and had melted plastic all over the insides of another. Apparently his wizarding mind was finding that one piece of machinery particularly hard to use.
A few minutes later, the phone broke the fragile peace. When Sirius answered it, it was to a frantic woman.
“I need to speak with Lily!”
That got his attention. “What?”
“I need to speak to Lily, now!”
He tapped Giles to get his attention. “You need to speak to Lily? I’m sorry there’s no Lily here.”
Giles raised his eyebrows as he caught the gist of the conversation. No one had ever called asking for Lily and it had been more than a year since Dawn’s new name had been ‘outted’.
The person on the other end of the phone paused, trying to think, making sure they’d got the right number. “I don’t have time for this.” She said finally. “My name’s Petunia Dursley. Lily was my sister. Please get her, my son… something’s happened to him.”
Sirius started frowning at the phone the minute the caller identified themselves. So this was the evil cupboard lady. “You’ve got some nerve calling here, lady. After the way you treated Harry you should just be glad I don’t hex you into next week you old b-“
Giles hastily plucked the phone out of Sirius’ hand. “And I’ll take that. Sirius, fetch Dawn if you please.”
“She has a right to decide who she does and doesn’t talk to.” Giles insisted and Sirius reluctantly left the room. When Giles turned back to the phone, the woman was squawking angrily down the line but he hushed her. “What is the problem, Mrs Dursley?”
“They’ve taken my Dudley! Those freaks you hang about with have taken him.”
“Mrs Dursley, I know you are upset, but if you want our help then please control yourself.” Giles said sternly leaving no room for argument.
He looked round to see the young woman that had been like a daughter to him for years. The look on her face told him that she’d heard his last comment and had realised just who he was talking to. She held out her hand for the phone and he handed it over wordlessly. He smiled slightly and squeezed her shoulder in support before retreating back into the kitchen where Sirius was pacing up and down.
“Petty, what’s wrong?”
“I don’t know what to do, Lily-“
“Dawn.” She corrected her. There was a brief pause as Petunia lost herself in her thoughts, but she soon reminded herself of the matter at hand.
“Dawn, then. They’ve taken my son.”
“What? Who has?”
“Monsters. He was walking home last night and these things jumped out at him right outside the house.”
“Last night? And you only thought to call,” Dawn checked her watch, “at ten fifteen the next morning?”
“Vernon said it was probably a trick of the light… he said he’d probably be staying with a friend. But he never misses breakfast, Li- Dawn. Never; he’s such a good boy like that.”
In any other circumstances the comment would be laughable, but the worry in the older woman’s voice was obvious. And at the end of the day, Dudley was still human (even if he didn’t always act like it) and they’d have to rescue him (even if he was a little shit).
“These monsters, what did they look like? Did they look human?” Dawn asked in a business-like fashion. She needed to get as much information out of her sister before she broke down if they were to have any chance of finding Dudley.
“I suppose so.” She admitted, reluctant to acknowledge that the monsters bore any resemblance to the human race, to her race. “But their faces were horrible.”
“Vampires.” Dawn breathed.
Petunia stayed quiet for a moment. It was hard to pretend all things supernatural existed when it kept coming into your life. Even harder when you were related to a ‘freak’.
“What did they look like?”
“There were three men and a woman.” Petunia remembered. “I’m pretty sure she was in charge, she stood back and watched whilst the others did the work. There was something wrong with her, she was swaying and moaning and was holding what looked like a baby.”
Dawn’s hand froze over the notes she had been making. “A baby? It couldn’t have been a doll, could it?”
Petunia frowned as she thought back to the previous night. “Probably. It was very small and didn’t move.”
“And she had long, dark hair? Probably wore a white old fashioned dress?”
“Yes, that’s her. Do you know who it was?” She asked hopefully
“I’ve got a good idea. Look Petty, I’ve got to go- I need to call some friends and find out where they’d be holding him.”
“Bring him home to me.”
Dawn was quiet for a minute. They’d had him for twelve hours and if Drusilla was hungry then he’d be dead in minutes. “I’ll do my best.”
“Thank you. And Dawn, keep safe.”
“I will.” Dawn replied, just as softly as her sister had spoken. There was a click at the end of the line as Petunia hung up and Dawn put her own receiver back on the cradle.
Sirius and Giles were looking expectantly from the kitchen, Sirius curious, Giles worried. He’d figured out her suspicions about Drusilla and knew how dangerous she could be. Sirius’ confusion increased as Dawn picked up the phone again and dialled a number from memory.
“Willow? Yeah, it’s Dawn. Could you floo over here? There’s a problem… I need you to do a locator spell for crazy Dru. Thanks.”
“What’s that all about?” Sirius asked as she sat down in the kitchen.
Giles ignored him. “You think Drusilla has Dudley?”
“Wait, Drusilla? The Drusilla who kidnapped you as bait for your sister in your Sunnydale life?”
“The very same.” Dawn said. “Her minions grabbed Dudley last night. We need to find her now.”
“I’ll get some of the slayers ready to go.” Giles said and he left the kitchen.
Before Sirius could ask more questions, the fire flared green and two figures fell out.
“I’ll never get used to that.” One groaned from the floor.
The sisters hugged, for a moment they were young again and Dawn believed Buffy would be able to fix anything. Now she was here, everything would sort itself out. But the happy thoughts couldn’t last forever.
“Hey, share the love.” Willow said and immediately found herself in her own hug.
“I’m so glad you could come.” Dawn murmured.
“How could I not?” Willow said. “And when I told Buff what was happening, she just had to tag along.”
“If she’s here to help, she’s more than welcome.” Giles said before greeting his former students.
“So let’s start helping, what’s going on?” Buffy said, getting straight to the point as usual while Willow set out the items she needed for a locator spell.
“Petunia called me; her son’s been kidnapped and I’m ninety-nine percent sure that Drusilla’s behind it.”
Buffy had stiffened at the mention of Petunia. The other sister. It had been hard for Buffy to get used to the idea of Dawn having a second sister, even if they never spoke. She had only been mentioned a few times, so for the most part it was easy for Buffy to forget she existed.
“I just want to find him and go back to not speaking to them.” Dawn declared strongly. Petunia was not willing to accept who Dawn was. Dawn did not want to talk to a bigot. It worked out quite well really.
Willow took in the tense atmosphere and resolved to get the situation solved as quickly as possible. The Summers family had been put through enough for several lifetimes, there was no need to drag out the latest trauma. “Let’s get going then, shall we?”
“You’ve found him already?” Sirius said in surprise, speaking for the first time since Buffy and Willow had arrived.
“What can I say, I’m good.” Willow said, not boasting, just stating a fact. She was one of, if not the, most powerful witches on the planet. A simple locator spell was nothing.
“Let’s go.” Dawn stood up, heading over to the weapons room.
“Dawn, are you sure you should-“
“Don’t even think about finishing that sentence, Buffy.” Dawn said. “I’m perfectly capable. Besides, someone needs to take Dudley home afterwards.”
Sirius jumped to his feet as well. He’d met Lily once before, when he and Dawn were still at Hogwarts together, and hadn’t liked her but he would be interested to see how the infamous Dudley Dursley had turned out. Would he be as pig-like as Harry made out?
Giles, who had disappeared to get a team together, returned with about ten girls, all armed with stakes as well as their personal weapon of choice. “Are we ready?”
Willow recited a teleportation spell, taking to them to the location that the locator spell had flagged up. She rolled her eyes when she saw where they were. An abandoned warehouse. Vamps were definitely not the most creative demons.
“I’ll check it out.” Buffy offered, slipping closer to the warehouse to find out what they were dealing with.
The windows were boarded up- one of the first signs to look for when looking for a vampire hideout. Buffy peered through one of the narrow slits between the wooden boards. She blinked a couple of time to get adjusted to the light and shapes started forming in the dark warehouse.
Buffy grinned. Oh, that was just funny.
She saw a fat boy, presumably Dudley, suspended by his ankles in the centre of the room. As she watched, Drusilla grabbed one of his flailing arms and started dancing around, effective spinning her captive in circles before going off to prance around the rest of the room.
As Dudley stopped swaying, a second vampire stepped forward, peering at him closely. Buffy was barely able to contain her laughter as the vampire prodded the rather ill looking human, only for Dudley to vomit all over him. Apparently Dawn’s nephew didn’t cope well with a spinning motion.
Seeing all she needed to, Buffy hurried back to where her friends were waiting. “Okay, she seems to be preparing for some kind of ritual- or it’s just Dru being crazy. Dudley’s hanging upside down in the middle of the room and I could see Drusilla and eight other vamps. You,” Buffy pointed to four of the slayers, “wait here, but come in if you hear us screaming in pain. Everyone else, follow me.”
The chosen slayers exchanged looks, not used to the bluntness, but followed her anyway. She was the Chosen Slayer after all.
With a small smile, the anticipation of a good fight, Buffy kicked the door down.
“Oops?” She offered to the stunned vampires with a girly smile. Then she vaulted over their heads. The other slayers could deal with them. She wanted Drusilla.
Dudley gaped at the girls running through the door. This was who was going to save him? They were girls! Then a crossbow was fired, the bolt whizzing dangerously close to his head and causing him to squeal in fright.
“Gross!” One of the slayers exclaimed as she drove a stake through vomit-vamp’s chest. “Oh that’s just…gross!”
Dawn kicked one of the vampires away that was trying to approach Dudley. She ran over to her nephew. “Dudley, are you okay?”
He frowned in confusion as the woman spoke his name. His vision was a little blurry from hanging upside down for so long. With great difficulty he twisted his head, and then he recognised her. His pudgy eyes widened in fright. “Stay away from me!”
“Don’t be ungrateful; I’m here to save you.” Dawn scolded, sorely tempted to let one of the remaining vampires get a hit on the little brat.
Dudley was not sure what to do. Who to trust, monster or freak? He looked around the room; the little girls were making the monsters turn to dust! He started whimpering. “Why is this happening to me?”
Dawn bit her tongue to stop herself retorting with something about karma. She would take the high road. Giles would be so proud.
“Why do bad things happen to good people?” Dudley wailed.
Dawn rolled her eyes and turned to an approaching vampire. But, oh dear, when she pulled back her arm to punch the demon, she pulled back a little too far and hit Dudley right on his pudgy nose. What a terrible accident. At least the snivelling little brat shut up though.
There had been a few more vampires than Buffy had first thought, but still no match for the ten humans fighting them. Willow and Sirius were casting spells, fending off vampires until the six-or-so slayers could dust them while Buffy went one-on-one with Drusilla with neither one gaining the upper hand.
Buffy landed a kick on Dru’s chest, causing her to go stumbling back, her arms reaching out for something to break her fall. She grabbed onto one of the sacks piled up beside them, slicing it open with her nails and a cloud of sand and dust going up in the air.
When it had cleared, Drusilla had gone, presumably hiding somewhere until she could escape.
“Dammit.” Buffy cursed, annoyed at passing up the chance to stake Dru. “Is everyone okay?”
A range of positive responses greeted her. Good, no one was hurt.
Sirius pointed his wand at the roped that held Dudley and they fell away.
With a startled yelp, Dudley fell from where he’d been held, prevented from smacking his head on the concrete by a casual wave from Willow’s hand. He still didn’t land gracefully though, falling to his knees and swaying about unsteadily.
Dawn glared at Sirius and went to help the scared boy up.
“I don’t get why she took Dudley though.” Dawn said, trying to figure it out. “It can’t just be a coincidence.”
“He smells of green, yum, yum.” Drusilla’s disembodied voice came from wherever she was hiding.
“Of green?” One of the slayers questioned.
“She means me.” Dawn said in exasperation. Dru definitely fit the ‘crazy’ criteria, allowing her to see the key within Dawn. But to be able to sniff out those sharing her blood…ew. Was it to much to ask to have one week off? “This Key thing is starting to get on my nerves.”
“O…kay…” The same slayer said. She turned to her friend. “Did Dawn explain what her keys had to do with it and I just totally missed it?”
The second slayer shook her head. She didn’t understand either. “Nope.”
Dudley was still shaking as Dawn walked him to his house. First he was kidnapped by monsters, then he was tied up, then he missed his breakfast, then the crazy lady spins him round and makes him sick, then he gets rescued by freaky girls, and then they force him to travel using the ‘M word’.
As they walked up the front path, the door flew open and Petunia burst out closely followed by Vernon, obviously having been watching from the window.
Petunia started planting kisses all over his face; Dudley was too in shock to stop her.
“Oh, my poor boy, you look practically starved! Let me get you something to eat, anything you want.” Petunia squealed, leading her son, who had perked up at the mention of food, inside.
“Thank you.” Vernon said though gritted teeth, loathed to thank this freak for anything, even if she had just brought his son home.
“Your welcome!” Dawn said brightly, just before the door was slammed in her face. She resisted the urge to stick her tongue out at the closed door. That would be childish and petty.
As she walked back down the garden path, she got an idea and grinned evilly, trying to remember the projection spell that Sirius had showed her and focusing on the image in her mind.
The next morning, a still shaken Petunia went into her front garden to water her flowers. Two minutes later she ran back into the house screaming and pointing.
Confused, Vernon went outside into their nice, normal garden to see what had startled his wife. Everything seemed in order….except…
Vernon tried to kick the offending items, to smash them beyond all recognition, but every time his foot got close, it would inexplicably veer off course.
The Dursley’s neighbour looked over his fence to see what the commotion was. He took in the scene and frowned disapprovingly before picking up his newspaper and going back inside. This made Vernon turn purple and try to kick them harder. It still didn’t work.
“FREAKS!!” Vernon burst out before stomping into the house.
Sitting safely in the Dursley’s prized gnome garden were five figures. All were dressed in black robes with pointy black hats on their heads, each holding a want. One of the figures had what looked suspiciously like a lighting bolt shaped scar on his forehead. The figures grinned up at him, one of them pointing upwards to a sign above their head which read:
‘We believe in Magic.’
I know, it’s been a while. I’ll try and get the next chapter up soon. Thanks for reading!