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Summary: Various ficlets for the Fic-For-All. Chap. 6 - Totally, Like, a Valley Pig

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > Multiple Pairings > Ficlet Collections - FFACameronFR1563,817074,03219 Sep 0522 Sep 05No

'Tis a Pirate's Life for Me

‘Tis A Pirate’s Life For Me

FFA pairing: 1826 (Xander/Vala Maldoran)

Disclaimer: The BtVS and SG1 verses definitely do NOT belong to me. I also do not own the rights to Talk Like a Pirate Day.


"Don’t make me shoot you."

Everyone in the commissary could tell that Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter was not happy. She was glaring at the man sitting opposite her, and poking her lunch with her fork in a particularly violent manner.

"Arrr! Cease or else me beauty will demote to a mere bilge rat? Well, blow me down smartly." He leered at her, or at least tried to. It was difficult to perform a proper leer with an eyepatch.

Sam threw down her napkin and stomped towards the door.

"Well, avast me. Me beauty treats me as if I were a scurvy dog." The man grinned at the other three men at the table.

"XanderHarris, you can stop conversing in that tone. You have annoyed us all greatly."

"Arrrrr, Teal’c, arrrr. ‘Twould only make me appear to be a lubber ‘er I stopped talking like a pirate today. And how can I possibly capture the heart of a fair lass as a lubber?"

Daniel and Cam just groaned and went back to their lunches.

. . . . . . . . . .

Xander whistled a jaunty tune as he wandered the halls of the complex. He’d had a great day so far. Willow and Buffy had both called to wish him a happy holiday, and

General Landry had allowed him to wear his costume without being keelhauled. He’d even managed to get under Sam’s skin at lunch.

He was so busy mentally recapping the day, that he didn’t even notice Vala’s presence until she linked her arm through his.

"Xander, darling! Have you seen my Daniel lately? He’s trying to hide from me, naughty boy."

"Arrrr, me buxom beauty, me mate Danny boy hasn’t been sighted since lunch. Do you mean that scallywag is avoiding a lass such as yourself. Avast!"

"Xander, are you feeling quite alright? You seem to not be yourself."

"Avast, wench! Wanna know why this Roger is so Jolly? ‘Tis a fine Earth holiday a lass such as yeself should know about."

"That sounds vaguely dirty, Xander. More?"

He grinned. Someone was finally celebrating with him! "Have ye ever met a man with a real yardarm?"

She was dragging him towards her quarters before he even realized that he’d made a tactical mistake.

. . . . . . . . . .

A faint knock at the door captured Daniel’s attention. When he saw the shape that Xander was in, he rushed to help his friend to a chair. His hair was disheveled, his belt was hanging unfastened from his belt loops, and he was missing one shoe.

"What happened to you?"

"Me beauty Vala shivered me timbers, but what a way t' go." Xander’s grin said it all. "Arrr, talk like a pirate day is definitely this capn’s favorite holiday."
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