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Xander and Jack Stargate Police

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Summary: Buffy/Stargate SG1/ Sam and Max Freelance Police crossover. Xander and and SG1 find something on another planet. And drive General Hammond nuts in the process. Can take place in any Stargate/Buffy crossover where Xander works with SG1

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Cartoons > Sam & Max: Freelance Police
Stargate > Xander-Centered
cwolfFR1315440103,51020 Sep 0520 Sep 05Yes
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Stargate SG1. I also don’t own Sam and Max Freelance Police (Cartoon)

(this could take place in any of the Buffy/Stargate crossovers where Xander works with Stargate command)

Xander groaned. SG1 did too. They all looked up the 3 foot long ramp toward the stargate that was dipped at an angle. They were piled up every which way at the bottom where the stargate had deposited them.

Jack blinked. “That’s a first.”


“Compared to everything else we’ve gone through.”

“Very true.”

“Get off me, please, sir.” Sam said in something resembling a growl.

“Indeed.” Said Teal’c.

Xander blinked. “Where’s Daniel?”

“Oh crap!”

After situating themselves, they went off in search of their wayward researcher.

They found Daniel standing at the entrance to an old structure of some sort.

”See, told you he’d be looking at old rocks or something.”

“Very funny Jack. And I keep telling you they’re not rocks.”

Jack grinned. “So what did you find.”



“You’ll have to see it for yourself.”

They walked in and paused.

“Jack. Why is there a police cruiser here?”

Everyone looked at Xander. “You’re asking him?”

Daniel shook his head. “That’s not all. There are these weird skeletons in back.”

Jack sighed. “I’m probably going to regret this. What skeletons?”

“Follow me.”

They stood looking down at the skeletons.

”Something else you don’t see everyday.”

Xander stood in shock. “You can say that again…”

Jack grinned and opened his mouth.

”Don’t even think about it.” Sam growled.


“Is it just me, or do they look like a giant dog and rabbit?” Xander asked.

“I was hoping it was just me…” Daniel said with a sigh.

“Colonel O’Neil.”

“Yes Teal’c?”

“I’ve found some files. What does…. Freelance Police mean?”

They stared at him. Then at Daniel when he spoke.

Daniel shook his head. “I don’t know…. But why is the DHD here instead of at the gate?”

They turned and looked at the device.

Daniel pressed a button. A speaker came on. A strange voice came out. “First symbol thingy pressed.”

Sam walked to the entrance and looked through her binoculars. “Um sir.”

“What is it Carter?”

“It looks like the first chevron has been chosen.”

“How in the…”

As they spoke, a sound was heard.

“Oh great. Just what we need. Goaul’d.” Jack growled. “Ok, you know the drill kiddies. Start setting explosives with timers. Daniel get our coordinates dialed, and contact Stargate Command so they’ll be ready for us.”

“Hey Jack.” Xander asked.

“What is it?”

“Does the car still work?”

“Incoming. SG1 communication.”

General Hammond sighed. “Let’s hear it.”

Jacks voice came through. “Hey General.”

“Colonel O’Neil.”

”We’re getting ready to come in fast. Got hostiles.”

The tech looked up. “Standing ready General.”

”Acknowledged Colonel.”

”Oh General?” Jack said with an amused tone.

General Hammond groaned. “What is it Jack?”

”You might want to have the security team stand away from the ramp…”

As Hammond prepared to announce it, what looked suspiciously like a Ford Police Cruiser zoomed in the air through the stargate and landed on the ramp in a controlled skid. Security members leaped every which way. It stopped about two feet from the wall. The shield moved into place on the stargate.

A window rolled down and Xander stuck his head out. “Hi General!”


“What! He was driving!”

The End

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