The Adventures of Fred in FicLand
Title: The Adventures of Fred in FicLand
Type: Ficlet (written for the FFA 2005)
Genre: Angel/Harry Potter (Fred/Harry)
Timing: This story occurs during Angel’s fifth season, prior to Fred’s transformation to Illyria and shortly after “Prisoner of Azkaban” in the Harry Potter ‘Verse.
Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own these characters. Fred belongs to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Harry, Hogsmeade, and floo powder belong to JK Rowling.
She felt stupid. Standing in front of an abandoned fireplace with a bag of powder Wesley had given her. At the appropriate time, she was to step into the fireplace, throw the powder in the air, and say “Hogsmeade” in a clear voice.
Which was absolutely ridiculous. Who traveled via fireplace? Could wizards be that weird? It broke all the laws of physics. No one could be in one place, then in another, instantaneously.
Was matter conserved when you traveled by floo powder? Were you simply shrunk down to a tiny, aerodynamic person and flung through the air, or were you disassembled molecule by molecule like a Star Trek transporter? Or worse, could the floo powder operate in multiple dimensions, shuttling the unsuspecting traveler through a parallel dimension and spitting her out at the other end?
Regardless of its mechanism of operation, this floo powder was entirely too much like portal travel for her liking. Despite the fact that she was the world’s foremost expert on portals and inter-dimensional travel, she still hated portals. Big, sucking vortexes which existed only to draw unsuspecting people into their evil clutches… assuming, of course, that portals could have clutches.
She groaned. Why was she thinking about this when it couldn’t possibly be true? Wesley was probably playing a prank on her, to get back at her for the incident with the Chagas demon last week. Which wasn’t fair, because she hadn’t meant to make the demon mad, and even if she had, she hadn’t known it would have spit out an impenetrable wall of slime and trap Wesley in a tiny, slimy pocket until Gunn had gotten a blowtorch…
She turned to go. She didn’t really want to lecture a bunch of wizards about portals and parallel dimensions anyway. Assuming it was real. Which it couldn’t be. Fireplace powder, and owl mail, and flying broomsticks? Sure, play a trick on the gullible girl from Texas. Fred will fall for anything.
At the door, she paused. What if it were true? What if throwing a bit of dust into the air could transport her to a magic wizard world? Could she honestly walk away from it and not take a chance?
She bit her lip in indecision, then glanced at her watch. Time for her to go… time to fish or cut bait. Which was a ridiculous phrase if you thought about it, because didn’t you have to cut your bait in order to fish in the first place?
She was going to do it. Take a chance and see where it took her. She stepped into the fireplace, threw her floo powder up in the air, said “Hogsmeade” in a loud, clear voice – and disappeared.
She appeared in front of a different fireplace in a completely different room. Instantaneous travel by magical powder. She wondered if the wizards would let her keep some to study in the lab after her lectures were over? The possibilities were fascinating.
Fred had been so caught up in her own thoughts she hadn't noticed that she wasn't alone in the room. A slightly scrawny boy whose dark hair nearly covered a jagged-looking scar on his forehead was waiting for her.
"Hi, I’m Harry Potter and I’ll be your guide. Welcome to Hogsmeade.”