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Why Me?

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Summary: Cobra Bubbles thought he was having a good day. (Buffy, Lilo and Stitch)

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Cartoons > Lilo and StitchJoeBFR799,75724412,59525 Sep 053 Jan 11No

Never Again!

Never Again

 

Disclaimer:  If you recognize it, it belongs to someone else.  I make no profit from the following:

 

Buffy hunched over trying to catch her breath, Kennedy and Faith were doing the same thing, Faith was holding an arm in a way that told Buffy it was broken. Buffy glared at their opponent, it was androgynous, dressed in a white martial arts gi.  Behind it,  looking more than a little sheepish were the students that had not been able to accompany the rest of the school on a back country survival course, who were chained to the school’s Nautilus equipment . Their captor simply stood in front of the equipment, balanced easily on its toes.

 

Buffy looked at the other two Slayers and said, “Kennedy and I will go in again, Faith, you stay out and see if we get an opening”. They hadn’t the last four times they’d tried, but what the hey, maybe they’d get lucky this time. Kennedy still wasn’t a hundred percent, but she was currently in better shape than the either of the Chosen Two, with Buffy being badly bruised and Faith with a broken arm.

 

A quick pattering of feet delayed the attack. Cynthia, the one stay behind who wasn’t currently chained to a Nautilus Machine, due entirely to a wonderfully timed call of nature, was running flat out, carrying Buffy’s Troll Hammer. The original Troll Hammer was somewhere at the bottom of the Sunnydale Crater. Buffy had decided that it was too useful of a weapon to not have one around, so she had Giles and Willow run down who made them. It turned out it was a tribe of trolls deep in the Swedish Alps. Buffy and Giles, along with about a hundred Slayers had gone to see about the possibility of buying a couple from them. The Trolls and not been agreeable to the sale, but when one of the junior Slayers had discovered that the Trolls didn’t actually make the hammers, it was a tribe of dwarfs that the Trolls had enslaved about 1200 years ago, the Slayers had emancipated the dwarfs.  The Trolls might have complained about abolitionist Slayers, but none of them had survived the experience. In gratitude, the Dwarfs had not only agreed to supple the four hammers that Buffy had been after, they would supply one Hammer a year to the Slayers in perpetuity. 

 

Buffy was surprised to see Cynthia running with the her Hammer, when she had sent the SiT after it she had expected her to have to drag it back, but she was managing to balance the weight of the  Troll Hammer and keep up a good speed. Cynthia slid to a stop and handed the hammer to Buffy, while she huffed and puffed. “Good Job Cynthia,” Buffy said. The Council had decided to award the Annual Hammer they got from the Dwarves to the top student of the graduating class, Cynthia had just earned a whole bunch of points in that direction. Turning to the two senior Slayers Buffy said, “Faith, you have a broken arm.”

 

The Second Slayer smiled, “Still got one that works, plus two legs.”  Faith had been visiting for a short vacation before Apocalypse Season got really started in Cleveland and had been getting a little bored. This fight was just what the doctor ordered.

 

Buffy nodded, “Okay, Kennedy, you go in high, Faith you go in low, I’ll come up the middle with the hammer.”

 

Both of the other Slayers nodded and the three stood up.  Their opponent also went on higher alert, dropping into a defensive posture. The three Slayers spread out and approached. Suddenly both Faith and Kennedy moved, their opponent started to move almost before them. As Kennedy moved in to launch an attack one of their opponents hands whipped out faster than a snake and caught Kennedy in the nose, blood sprayed as Kennedy’s head shot back and she gave off a sharp bark of pain as she slammed onto the floor.  As Faith came in, their adversary kicked out sharply aiming for Faith’s sternum. She had no choice and had to block with her good arm, the sharp crack announced that Faith now had a matched set.  With it off balance Buffy was able to roll off of Faith’s back and brought the hammer in just below where a person’s short ribs would be on their torso. 

 

Their adversary’s torso deformed around the hammer and as it flew away from the strike, it hit a weight machine and shattered; pieces of what was obviously an android exploded away from the machine, hydraulic fluid sprayed twenty feet around it, while some gears and micro-pumps decorated the rest of the room, its head landed on top of a weight machine and stayed there like some kind of grim trophy.

 

A soft plop announced Willow’s return. “I couldn’t find Jumba anywhere!” she cried out as soon as she appeared. Spotting her girl friend on the floor she ran to her. Kennedy rolled over and was holding her nose as blood streamed out of it, “I tink h’ bwoke it,” she complained, now they were going to be stuck here even longer.

 

Seeing that Faith was more or less alright, though with her arms she wasn’t really up to doing much, Buffy stormed to release her captive students. “That’s the last training remote that Jumba every builds for us!” 

The End?

You have reached the end of "Why Me?" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 3 Jan 11.

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