Disclaimer: I have no rights to anything other than the place where my mind used to live. BtVS as everyone whose been alive for longer than 32 seconds knows belongs to JW and his minions, Stargate belongs to Richard Dean Anderson, ok so there are some other people listed in the credits...they know they own them and I know they own them, so enjoy.
“I hate CO in the springtime, I hate CO in the fall, why oh why do I hate CO, because the military keeps me there.” Sang Xander at the top of his lungs. He couldn’t believe it, he had come to CO Springs to ‘talk’ to a S.I.T’s family only to run literally into his mother’s cousin Col., well excuse me…Brig. Gen. Jack O’Neill, who was now guardian for said, ‘SIT’. Who after hearing about demons and vampires had him incarcerated. He’d claimed it was ‘observation’. Until Xander had opened his big mouth about the SGC project and ‘who was he, friend of several alien races to not believe about demons'. Yeah, that had landed Xander in the military brig. Where he’d been residing for the past 23 hours and 26 minutes.
Oh and the best part of this whole fiasco, well he hadn’t been allowed his one phone call. So welcome back Darth Willow…ok, so Darth Willow maybe not; but he was pretty sure that black Willow would make an appearance and if it was a really good day, only the ‘secret base’ would suffer for it. He took a deep breath and belted out, “Here’s a little story about Xan, a simple scooby man, whoooooo went to CO to find a SIT, ended up locked up in isn’t that the sh…”
Xanders singing was interrupted by an outburst from a person he couldn’t see. Brig. Gen. O’Neill’s surprisingly strident, “Oh for the love of god!” Caused a grin to firmly attach itself to Xanders' face as he took another deep breath, then let it out with a hiss as the fluorescent lights flickered. “Jack, get out!” He yelled and tried to shew the man out of the area. He felt the room get too small and with a loud “pop” Willow appeared and boy howdy was she not in a ‘happy’ mood.
“Xander Harris,” she yelled, “I swear, if you weren’t, you,” she waived her hand madly, “I’d leave you to your own devices…. I can’t believe you didn’t call, you know how worried I get about you, it’s not as if you are in your right mind half the time and though I love the wrong part of your mind at this moment the love, is so not what I feel for,” she paused and asked, “why are you behind bars? BE HIND BARS, ALEXANDER HARRIS!” She stopped mid screech as she took in her surroundings, her eyes flashed black and her hair started turning.
“Hey, now Will’s,” he said softly. Drawing her gaze to him. She walked towards him and scowled at the bars.
“Away,” she said in a deep voice. The bars disappearing stunned Jack into silence, he’d been shocked to see her ‘appear’ out of nothing and then when the bars to the cell disappeared his mouth dropped open. Suddenly two armed guards burst into the room and yelled, “Freeze!”
Willows black eyes rested on the three unknowns, two of whom were pointing guns at her and Xander, “Freeze,” she intoned back. They did, only their eyes could move. Then she let her gaze rest on Brig. General Jack O’Neill, “General O’Neill,” she purred as she read his nametag. She moved from Xanders side and faced him, then whispered in his ear, “didn’t you learn anything the first time, wasn’t Adam enough for you people…. Or if not that, then the 43 military operatives that died in ‘it’s’ containment.” She circled him slowly moving her head back and forth, “The finest the united states military has to offer,” she paused and said, “hummm, you are kind of tasty looking…would the president mind if I made you my puppy?” She trailed her hand around his hips and he shuddered, “Ah puppy’s nervous,” her black eye’s danced.
Xanders brown eyes opened cartoon wide he just knew it, “Uh, Will’s?” He said nervously. Obviously Black Willow was more like Vamp Willow than he remembered.
Willow licked her lips and cocked an ear to Xander, to indicate she was listening.
“He’s my cousin,” he paused, “Well he’s my mom’s second cousin so technically he’s my third cousin so the whole puppy thing….” He trailed off, unsure if he was supposed to be nauseated or aroused that Willow was thinking of men like that.
“So no playing with Puppy?” She sighed.
“No, no puppy….” He was cut off when the door to the cells opened again to reveal Daniel Jackson nose deep in a book and saying without looking, “Jack, Samantha wanted me to tell you that your 3 o’clock, cancelled and that as your 2IC, she insists that you get to the reports and stop playing with your cousin, as there is no way that you can legally keep him, here at the SGC. He passed his polygraph test and no one other than you, whose opinion would normally be enough to guarantee something like this, heard him say anything about aliens. The president said that Mr. Harris is to be released immediately as his ‘associates’ do not look upon the US Military fondly. Which is rather intelligent of them, aside from you and some of the other’s here at the SGC…” He didn’t get a chance to finish, because the book disappeared and as he looked up to say something he met green eyes, flashing with black. He stepped back and blinked a couple of times.
Willow licked her lips, ‘oh my’ then she purred, “do you have any tweed?”
Xander groaned and his head fell, Jacks mouth opened with jaw to the floor.
Daniel opened and closed his mouth, sighed and said softly, “Yes, I’ve a sport jacket as well as a suit, left over from my Oxford days.” He found his arms filled with woman flesh as her soft mouth devoured his own. When the woman released him, he found himself a bit shell-shocked at the occurrence.
“Xander,” Willow pleaded, “please, please, please, please, pretty please can I have this one? He babbles, owns tweed, is obviously way over educated, you keep telling me I should find a man smart enough, aside from the whole military thing and,” she paused “Oh my god,” green eyes flashed to solid black, “SGC?”
“Yes.” He said simply, Jack groaned. Xander flinched.
Willow spun around on her heels, all playfulness gone and said, “I asked one thing of you Alexander, one miserable thing, to avoid the SGC at all costs. I do not remember this being a difficult task as they own an entire freaking mountain as their base. I even gave you a map of said mountain as well as highlighted the areas that were frequented by military personnel. What happened?”
“The SIT’s guardian is Jack.” He pointed to the general to get her annoyed gaze off of him.
‘Great’ Jack sighed, ‘I’m back in focus’ “Danny,” Jack said quickly, “kiss her, it’s an order.”
Daniel stared at him as if he’d grown a third arm.
Willow’s power built in the room then spilled out into the rest of the base, when her mind touched Jack’s and he recoiled Willow whispered, “I understand, you’ll have yours…but only you.” She wiped her and Xander’s presence from the rest of the occupants of the base or anyone who’d been in contact with Xander in the past 24 hours. When she came to Daniel she met resistance, he was changed; she couldn’t catch his thoughts…there was something between her powers and his mind. She caught hold of Xanders hand and they were gone.
When Willow and Xander reappeared in London, Willow caught Xander up in a big hug and said, softly in his ear, “not a word, hyena boy.” Xander grinned and caught her up in a hug of his own.