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The Shovel Speech

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Summary: Willow gives the shovel speech. FFA # 2192, Willow/Charlie; one-shot.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Harry Potter > Willow-CenteredangeluscadoFR717811113,9698 Oct 058 Oct 05Yes
Disclaimer: I own the words, not the worlds. Willow belongs to the creators of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Charlie is the intellectual property of JK Rowling. For fun, not profit.

Rating: PG

Timeline: Post S7 for Buffy, post HBP for HP.

Summary: Willow gives the shovel speech. FFA # 2192, Willow/Charlie; one-shot.

Notes: This is the first thing I’ve written in a while, so feedback would be much appreciated. I don’t have a beta, so any mistakes are my own. If you find any, please gently point them out to me.

The Shovel Speech

Charlie Weasley was nervous and a little scared, and that didn’t happen all too often. He’d faced dragons, dark wizards, Snape, his sister in a bad mood and his mother on a rampage after yelling at the twins. There was very little in this world that could scare him anymore. However, the redheaded witch standing in front of him sizing him up was making him nervous.

At first glance there was nothing too terribly remarkable about her. She was tiny and doll-like; with clear green eyes and hair so red she could pass for a Weasley with ease. Her skin was pale, and her smile was shy, and she had an all-around adorable look about her. However, if you looked deep into her eyes, you’d see the horrors she’d seen in her relatively short life. Stand next to her for a moment and you could practically feel the powerful magic radiate off of her.

And that’s what made him the most uneasy. That, and the fact that he’d sworn he’d seen her before.

“Um, hi,” he greeted the witch, sticking out his calloused hand. “I’m Charlie, Buffy’s date.”

“So I’ve heard,” Willow replied, taking his hand in a surprisingly firm handshake. “I’m Willow, Buffy’s best friend. Well, one of them.”

“Uh, right,” said Charlie. “Buffy’s told me a lot about you. She didn’t mention you were so tiny, though.”

“Size doesn’t matter, though, does it?” Willow asked. “At least, in your world. You should know that.”

“How…how did you…?” asked Charlie, panicking. He wracked his brain to see if he had revealed anything to Buffy about the wizarding world that she’d relay back to her best friend. Finding nothing, he looked up to see Willow with a smug smile on her face.

“Buffy didn’t tell me anything; I could feel it,” Willow replied. “Besides, I spent a little bit of time in your world a few years ago because I had…issues.”

Realization dawned on Charlie; he now knew where he recognized her from. He’d seen her picture in the Daily Prophet, only she’d been snarling and covered in veins. Her hair had been black, as had her eyes; she barely resembled the slip of a girl standing in front of him at that moment.

“You’re that crazy Muggle girl who tried to end the world a couple of years back,” Charlie stated, trying hard not to reveal the fear in his voice. Sure, she looked harmless, but there was something about the aura surrounding her that made him uneasy. And now he knew why. “I thought you’d be taller.”

“That’s what your mom said too,” Willow replied with a wry smile. Charlie shot her a questioning glance. “Molly Weasley, bright red hair, bit of a mother hen? There can’t be too many people with the last name of Weasley. If she isn’t related to you, then I’m sorry for saying anything. And…yeah.”

“No, no, she’s my mum,” Charlie said. “My question is how you know her.”

“Oh, she was a member of the group that helped me ground myself, helped me make myself normal again,” Willow replied. “But enough about that. Time for the shovel speech.”

“The…what speech?” asked Charlie, slightly flabbergasted that she could be so flippant about her former escapades. She’s probably just joking on my behalf, he thought. Scare me or something. “I’m not quite sure I follow.”

“The shovel speech,” Willow repeated matter-of-factly with a slight nod of her head. “Basically, if you break Buffy’s heart or hurt her in any way, I’ll hunt you down and beat you to death with a shovel, buster. Got it?”

Charlie blinked. Of all the things he could have been threatened with, being beaten to death with a shovel was on the bottom of the list. With a witch of her caliber, he would have expected some rather interesting hexes or nasty spells.

“Erm…alright,” Charlie said, still a little ill at ease. Just then, his savior in the shape of a petite blonde came into view. He thanked his lucky stars to be finally leaving this whack job.

“Hi Charlie, ready to go?” asked Buffy with a smile. Charlie nodded mutely.

“Have fun you two, and remember what I said, Weasley,” Willow said sweetly with an equally sugary smile. Charlie smiled weakly as he followed Buffy out of the house.

“She gave you the shovel speech, didn’t she?” asked Buffy once they were outside. Charlie whirled around, wondering how the hell these women knew what he was thinking. Buffy giggled. “Don’t worry, that means she likes you. Wait until you meet Xander!”

“Oh Merlin, there’s another one?!”

****

Fin.

The End

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