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Summary: For TtH 100 - Xander/Galactica

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > Battlestar Galactica > Xander-CenteredjennzabelleFR1569,28523623,23327 Oct 0529 Apr 07No

Cat. Bag. Exit. Any Questions?

Xander/Galactica TtH 100 Prompt # 8 – Illness: “Cat. Bag. Exit. Any Questions?”

Timeline: “Cat. Bag. Exit…” follows just after “Regret to Inform You”.
Summary: Adama and Roslin, along with Tigh, Billy and Apollo, get an update on Xander from Doc Cottle. Awkward explanations ensue.
Spoilers through BSG Season One – “You Can’t Go Home Again”; BtVS Series
Disclaimer: Me no own. You no sue.
Review: Yes, please! Tell me what you think. Leave me a note and guess whose head we’re in. (Before it becomes obvious.) Rant and rail. Sing praises. Speculate.
Note: The prompt did actually give me the idea, although the word is not included.

P.S. My reviewers kick ass! I’m so grateful that people let me know they read and enjoyed my story. Thank you and goodnight!


Bored. Bored. Bored.
Really Bored.
More than Bored.
At least the seats in here are hard. Otherwise, we’d all be slumped over the table, snoring. Poor Lt. Gaeta. He’s had to give the general supply briefing every time we’ve had a Staff Meeting here on Galactica with the President and Billy Keikeya. After about the third commodity the President and the Commander are the only ones listening. Not that I expect this briefing to go quite as smoothly. Gaeta’s saving the biggies for last – we used almost half the fleet’s store of tylium looking for Starbuck. I think her punishment should be sitting in on more staff meetings. But I won’t tell her that. Even flat on her back in the Life Station she’s capable of getting revenge. The nuggets are easily intimidated by their just-ex-instructor. I’d hate to see what she’s capable of talking them into.
You know, if I were Starbuck, I’d just jump out of my chair right about now and yell ‘I’m outta here!’ And then flip everyone off as I banged the Wardroom hatch behind me. Why do I have to be the good guy? Why can’t Starbuck be the good guy? She has lots more fun.
Why? You know why, Lee. Because she’s Kara. The only person she wants to impress is my father and the rest of us can go straight to hell. Especially Colonel Tigh.
I’ve gotta admit, I’ve known the old grump for a long time – or at least known of him when my father could be bothered to tell stories on leave – and I can see why he and Starbuck rub each other wrong. He’s like the nightmare of what she could become. I don’t know much about her family life, but from some of the comments she’s let slip I’d be surprised if there weren’t some bad childhood memories surrounding authority figures and alcohol. And he hates her right back because she knows him for what he is and she calls him on it. I’m sure there’s some truth to his complaints that she’s a bad example and gets away with murder, but he’s hardly the model officer for all he tries to crack down on people. She just gets under his skin because ‘The Old Man’ likes her better than him. Of course, some days I think he likes her better than me, too.
I know, I know, if she were here she’d tell me how wrong I am about that particular subject. But it’s my internal monologue and I’ll say whatever I want. So there! Gods, has anyone ever been able to push my buttons like that woman? I don’t even think Zak was that good after we got to Academy Prep School. Yeah, he bugged the frak out of me when we were kids, but that’s just a sibling thing. Mom always said that we’d grow out of it and be best friends one day.
She forgot to mention that we’d be best friends with an insane girl at the same time. From the first day of the Academy when I got bunked with this mouthy blond, I knew she’d be trouble. I didn’t expect that she’d be so much fun. I guess she lit up that part of me that’s never been able to resist a challenge. As for Zak and Kara… I can never quite explain Kara’n’Zak to people who didn’t know them before. They just fit. He was never so careful of anybody under his surface giddiness as he was with her. Like he knew she was only vulnerable to people she let in, but she cared about more people than she let on. Not that that ever stopped her from ripping into them. He could just laugh her out of all but her worst moods. And Mom loved to have her around. I don’t think Mom liked any of my girlfriends, but she and Kara would do ‘girl stuff’ even before they were almost in-laws. I remember when Mom and Zak would…
Phew… I had to blow my breath out for a minute there. Usually I can at least think of Mom and/or Zak without getting upset, but you put the two of them on the same train of thought… I can’t go there right now. This is a Staff Meeting, for all that I’m mostly tuning it out.


Well, that lasted about two minutes. If I never hear about the fleet’s toilet paper supply again, it’ll be too soon. I need to keep more of my attention on Gaeta as we get closer to the end but Lords! Can’t we speed it up a little? At least give us a written report we can ignore in peace.
Speaking of ignoring, I haven’t heard word one from Tigh or the President about the tylium search. Usually at least one of them alludes to it when we get to this part of the supply report – so many Raptors with so many pilots for so many jumps makes what percentage of our remaining fuel used on the search for more? How long does it take the refinery ship to process the raw ore? They don’t tell us it was wrong to spend all that fuel looking for Kara, but they make sure we won’t consider doing it again. And yet, nothing today. That’s weird.
Okay, Gaeta’s sitting down and we’re ready to get to Billy’s report on the civilian armada.
So why isn’t he getting up? Well, he did *try* to get up but the President motioned for him to sit again. And now she’s asking about… some guy in Life Station? Who?
“I’m sorry, who?”
Uh-hunh. That’s an I-don’t-want-to-talk-about-it look from Colonel Tigh if I’ve ever seen one. And there’s another one from the Commander. Okay, ‘the patient’ - why aren’t they just saying his name? If he’s aboard Galactica he’s military and we’ll recognize him, but all we’d have to do is go down to visit Starbuck and …
An alien?
A frakkin’ ALIEN!?!
“That’s just not possible. The twelve colonies were the only human settlements besides Earth. And we can’t have reached Earth already or we would have stopped. Where did we find them? Him?”
So the female was… confined for the safety of the medical staff? In an undisclosed location? And no one is even supposed to know she’s here, much less tell her alien friend?
“Let me get this straight. One of our flights searching out tylium landed near a possible mining site on some random planet. They left the Raptor and went to check out the concentration of tylium ore and found that it was too little to be worth refining. When they got back to the Raptor they found the female alien trying to sneak away with rations and the medkit. The male was already injured and unconscious and probably had been for days. The female didn’t have a scratch on her and took out both pilots before they could do more than send up an automated distress buoy. Good so far?”
Okay, unbelievable but apparently true.
“The second Raptor flight landed near the first one and the female took out the ECO before he managed to slam the hatch closed and tell his pilot to come back with reinforcements. Then the Marines came down and she took down half the squad before the tranqs kicked in? How is that possible?”
Because as much as I’m a fleet officer and in pretty good shape, most of the Marines on this ship could kick my ass without breaking a sweat. And she took out six of them with multiple tranquilizer darts in her?
Fine, we don’t know anything about these aliens and their technology or their physical capabilities. They could be fabled warrior descendants from the Temple of Ares’ priests for all we know. But that’s just… not right. They’ve decided to let the male stay in Life Center? Shouldn’t they lock him up, too?
Still unconscious, hunh? I guess that makes him less of a threat. And Doc Cottle says that he likely won’t remember exactly how he got here and what happened to his companion. And his companion has already been told that he’s dead.
“So, what are you suggesting for them in the long term?”
Interrogation and incarceration for the female. The same for the male if he’s that powerful, but if he’s not we just tell him she didn’t make it and try to sweet talk him into letting us know everything about his people and where they are. That sounds reasonable.
Wait, what!? Earth! Are you kidding me? How the hell did the two of them know about Earth to just throw it around like that?
“What exactly did they say about Earth?”
Okay. Well.
That sounds… authentic.
“So she said, ‘there’s nowhere on Earth you’ll be safe if you hurt him’. And ‘no matter where you take him, I’ll find him. I will go to the ends of the Earth to hunt you down!’”
Oh, Lords. I really, truly think we have Earthans on board Galactica.
What are we supposed to do now?
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