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Interrogation With A Vampire

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Summary: Spike was accidentally hit by Willow's truth spell...and now he is at Xander's mercy. What secrets does William the Bloody have to tell?

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
BtVS/AtS Non-Crossover > Comedy > Spike-Centered(Past Donor)AmarinRoseFR1511,021152,54019 Nov 0519 Nov 05Yes
Interrogation With A Vampire

***

Disclaimer: Not Mine

Spike’s age is taken directly from canon, but his name is mostly made up. William is, in fact, his real first name, which is where his first vampire name – William the Bloody – came from.


***
“What’s your real name?”

“William Frances Jacobs,” Spike answered promptly, murder in his eyes. “The Third,” he added grudgingly, as if compelled to not only give an accurate answer, but also a complete one.

Xander snickered silently. Frances… Hoo, boy. Once he’d calmed down, he got back to the business – or, rather, the vampire – at hand. “Exactly how old are you? Both in living and non-living years,” he added as a qualifier.

“One hundred and twenty-six. I was nineteen when I was turned,” Spike said, eyes still flashing deadly annoyance

“What’s your favorite color?” Xander asked. This wasn’t really at the top of his list to find out, but if Spike’s favorite color were something girly, it would make good teasing material in the future.

“Purple,” Spike spat out, and Xander’s hopes that it would be pink were dashed.

But, then, isn’t purple the Gay Pride color? the thought popped unbidden – but most welcome – into the brunet’s head. “What’s your sexual preference?” Xander asked, smirking.

Spike hissed out an unneeded breath before answering. “Men, women, doesn’t really matter as long as they’re fairly attractive… I prefer humans because they’re more attractive and I don’t have to deal with scales or horns or stuff. Beyond the usual, anyway.” He vamped out for a moment, illustrating his point. “I prefer them willing because I hate having to divide my attention between shagging and making sure the gits stay put, but I’m not too particular about that, either.” That pronouncement earned him a scowl from Willow. He rushed to add, “I like blondes best, and I’m especially fond of those vampire groupies.” He grinned wolfishly, the lupine look helped along by his fangs. “They’re perfectly willing to let you drain them dry after a few orgasms.” His smirked widened. “In more ways than one.”

Buffy snorted derisively and pointedly turned away from the conversation.

“What’s your favorite city?” Xander asked, biting the inside of his cheek to keep his mirth from showing. Greenwich Village? San Francisco?

Spike actually looked more melancholy than malevolent at this question. “Paris, France,” he admitted grudgingly.

Xander cocked an eyebrow in question. This is interesting… So far he’s been equal parts anger and ambivalence about answering; this subtle apathy is new. “Why?”

Growling a little under his nonexistent breath, Spike spat out, “Because I have some fond memories of me and Dru there, that’s why.”

Knowing better than to pour salt in that particular wound, Xander said, “All right, then, where’s your favorite place on Earth?”

Spike blinked, obviously trying to figure out how that question was different from the last. His mouth open of its own accord and he supplied, “Disney World. I like the fireworks at night and it’s easy to get a snack in the crowds.”

Xander did a little bit of startled blinked of his own. Disney World… The mind boggles – at least mine does. Forgoing to dwell on that in favor of asking another question, he posed, “Favorite song?”

“Don’t Fear The Reaper by Blue Oyster Cult,” Spike told him. The once-more melancholy gleam in his eyes told Xander that had more to do with Drusilla.

A song about death reminding him of Dru, Xander thought with a mental roll of his eyes. Figures.

Seeing the look in the human’s eyes, Spike’s own flashed with ire. “It’s a love song, you blasted idiot,” he snarled, his accent thickening to the point where it sounded like he was calling Xander an ‘idjit.’

Huh? Xander thought. For a moment he was puzzled as to how that could be…then he remembered that the only part of the lyrics to that particular song that he’d ever learned had been the chorus. Repetitions of the singer pleading to, “C’mon, baby, don’t fear the reaper.”

Teasing at the corners of his mind was one phrase that had to do with Romeo and Juliet, so he supposed Spike could be right. Of course, if that was the couple the song was about, so was he.

An excited rustling of pages told him that Giles and Willow were almost finished with their research and that he’d best get a move on. “What’s the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you?” Xander asked, wanting to get at least a little more dirt than ‘Frances,’ purple, and an admission of bisexuality before he had to help the others out.

Spike’s face paled. He was whiter than even a one hundred twenty-six-year-old corpse – which he technically was – had any right to be. He gulped and opened his mouth to speak…

And was cut off by the sound of slamming book and Willow’s cry of, “Okay, I’ve got it!”

Buffy sighed in relief. “Great, Wills. C’mon, Xander.” She gestured for him to rise from his chair – directly across from where Spike was sitting, duct-taped down to his own. “Let’s try this again.”

Sighing in momentary disappointment – after all, he was only needed as a focus for the casting of the spell; once that was done, he could back to his interrogation – Xander heaved himself up from his chair and turned towards the two girls and the waiting ex-Watcher. He halted and turned to look at Spike, whose mouth was still open in preparation for answering his question. “Don’t go anywhere.” He snorted at the look of homicidal rage this needless order garnered him from the vampire. “And make sure to hold that thought – I’ll be right back.”

Oh, it was too bad that Spike showing up unannounced meant that Willow was going to have to recast her truth spell – and they really did need that E’nari demon to spill his guts about the next planned Apocalypse – but…

Torturing Spike was always a good time. And this spell lasted for twenty-four hours, so he’d be sure to get lots of dirt.

Interrogation had never been so much fun.

The End

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