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TtH100 - Dead Blonde Walking

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Summary: Harmony in every Situation the Universe and it's Gods can throw at her

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > Harmony-CenteredMirielleFR152890021,2922 Dec 053 Dec 05No

1. Game

Author: mir8lle

Rating: PG

Category: AtS/Discworld

Disclaimer: Joss and Terry own what I do not.

Spoilers: Hmm...all for AtS and who knows what for Discworld

Summary: TtH100 Harmony Dead Blonde Walking. The Gods are bored....this is never a good thing.

Prompt: 62 Game


Thunder rolled.

It rolled an eight. Behind it, various voices could be heard, their complaints ranging from a mere mutter to subdued grumbling.

“You’re tcheating again,” lisped one voice in particular, “Thothe dithe only have thixth thideth each.”

Offler, the Klatchian Crocodile God was not playing on top form today. The champion he had picked to castle in three turns had drowned in a freak scumble distilling accident, and he had distinct impression that Blind Io had something to do with it.

“Yeah Io…and keep your eyes where I can see them,” added Fate, smiling in the seemingly benign manner of a man about to sell you double glazing.

Brushing strands of greying hair from his forehead, Fate fixed the brunt of his bottomless gaze on the opponent sitting across from him. The effect of his glare was slightly diminished by the tip of his tongue, which was protruding from between his lips. Glancing once more at his opponents, Fate threw down three cards, grinning manically. “Right, now I’ve got three temples in Ephebe and a fish stall on Triple Word Count, which means this round goes to me. Tremble Suckers!” he added.

No one could accuse Fate of being a gracious winner.

Across the table, The Lady glared at him. She had always been a sore loser.

“I’m bored,” Offler whined – quite the feat, considering he had a mouth full of razor sharp teeth, “Thith game ith thupid.”

“You’re only saying that because you always loose,” Fate snickered, who won as often as The Lady did.

“I don’t care,” Offler added sulkily, “Let’th play thomething elthe.”

“What are you suggesting?” queried Blind Io. He too had lost a considerable amount on the last hand and felt it would be in everyone’s interest to pick a game Fate would lose.

“How about a quick game of Croththoverth?” Offler asked innocently.

It took the other Gods a moment to sort through Offler’s th’s, but once they had, each was quick to agree.

“Alright then,” Offler added, declaring himself official Croththover Adjudicator. “Firtht Rule of Croththoverth…there are no Ruleth! Every Player will thelect one Champion. Thith Champion will be expothed to a variety of thituathionth thubject to availability. Pointth will be awarded on Inginuity and Effectivenethth on dealing with thaid thituathionth, and extra pointh will be awarded to motht creative death. Latht Champion thtanding winth. Any quethtionth? No? Alright, Playerth – pick your Championth!”

The Players passed around a slightly worn velvet bag, which had until recently held

The Gods Scrabble tiles.

Blind Io drew first, and no one was surprised to see that for his champion, he had picked a hulkingly large ape-man, sporting various animal skins and currently attempting to pick his nose with the sharp end of his spear.

Offler went next, and his champion was revealed to be a wickedly grinning Grand Vizier type, complete with pointy beard and flying carpet. The next Player to grab the bag was Fate, who chose a harmless looking man, garbed in the traditional dress of a Graduate of the Ankh-Morpork Guild of Assassins.

Last but never least went The Lady, and her green eyes sparkled harmlessly as she revealed the Champion she had drawn from the bag.

“What ith that thuppothed to be?” Offler asked the question on everyone’s lips. “Ith it’th hair meant to be that thiny?”

“It’s a Vampire,” Fate was surprised to note, “And it’s not from the Disc. I think you might be cheating, my dear.”

The Lady only smiled in an enigmatic fashion before replying, “How can I cheat when there are no rules? My champion stands.”

“Very well,” Blind Io agreed, and as the current King of the Gods, his decision was disgustingly final, “We’ll allow the strangely perky looking Vampire female. Any more questions? Comments?”

The Players shook their heads one by one, and Offler could not help but grin in excitement, “Exthcellent! Let the Gameth Begin!”
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