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Two tablets, a witch and a jaded archeologist.

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Summary: Daniel, in Colorado, and Willow, in Brazil, are desperately trying to understand a unknown language.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Stargate > Willow-Centered > Pairing: Daniel JacksonmarinloveFR1512,977062,8476 Dec 056 Dec 05No
Two tablets, a witch and a jaded archeologist.

Crossover between “Stargate SG-1” and “Buffy: the Vampire Slayer”.

Disclaimers: As much as I would love to, I don’t own “Stargate” and “Buffy”. “Buffy” belongs to Mutant Enemy and Fox, and “Stargate” to MGM and Gecko.

Spoilers: “SG-1”, up to season 7, and “Buffy”, everything.

Pairings: Willow/Daniel, Carter/Jack and more (I don’t know yet).


1) This story will contain some political commentaries that some people may find a little radical. If you disagree with me, please, write me back in a politely. But, if you agree with me, I will, also, be happy to hear your opinion.

2) There will be a character created by me.

English is not my first language, so I need a beta, desperately.

São Paulo, Brazil. March 5th 2005.

-WSC African branch, how may I help? - Said a pretty voice with a South African accent.

-Hi, Cynthia, can I talk to Xander, please? It’s Willow.

-Hi, Miss Rosenberg, wait a moment, please. - Before Willow could say, “please call me just Willow”, an annoying music started to play, and ten seconds later, Xander was on the phone.

-Hey, Will! How are things in sunny Brazil?

-Not so shinny. Actually, very rainy. - Answered the witch with a very frustrated voice- March in São Paulo is not pretty. And Johannesburg?

-Great, I’m going to Kenya in two days, our coven found a new slayer there. Kennedy is already there, but her family refuses to let the girl go with her. I think they are not very impressed by her diplomatic skills.

-Yeah. - Eight months ago, the redhead had a taste of Kennedy’s “diplomatic skills”, literally. They had been on and off since they arrived in Brazil, and in one of those on days they went clubbing with the new Slayers. A little thirsty, she went grab a bottle of water and this girl started talking to her. Kennedy’s little green eye monster went insane, scandalous insane. A lot of name-calling and tears after, Kennedy’s fist met Willow’s right eye. Apologies apart, the next morning the Scoobies and Kennedy decided, in a conference call, that the best thing would be to Kennedy go to London, under Giles´ care. Six months later, the African Branch was under a lot of stress, a Klinvich demon was causing a lot of panic in Algeria, a demonic cult called Terenka was trying to open a portal to another dimension in Nigeria, and top all those problems, most of the slayers they could gather were not prepared yet for that kind of problem, so Kennedy begged to go there. Europe was pretty calm that time of the year, so they sent her there, under the condition of following Xander´s and, his second in command, Besede´s orders. Despite some incidents caused by her temper, like the one that is taking Xander to Kenya, things were going pretty well. - Xander, I am calling about the e-mail you sent me, the one about some tablets you found in Egypt. I can’t translate it. Ok, the part in ancient Egyptian, I can, but the rest… it is in another language, it is not any human or demonic language I know. I think I should give you a heads up. I will send you and the gang what I did. Maybe we can brainstorm together.

-Yeah, you know me, Mr. Brain. - Replied Xander with a self-depreciative tone.

-Xander, can you stop that? I won’t let you put yourself down in that way. - Everyone of the gang lost a lot in Sunnydale, but she knew Xander was who lost the most, not only he lost what everyone lost, but his eyes, and more important, Anya. She wasn’t in Willow’s top 10 favorite people, but despite her tendency for vindication in the most painful ways possible (and who hadn’t?), she deep down had a good heart and would make Xander happy. But, just when they are making amends, she died and now the guy’s humor was permeated by dark thoughts. He didn’t even go to the last Council Christmas party or Buffy’s birthday, she had to do something- Xander, when was the last time we saw each other?

-I don’t know, three months?

-It’s been almost a year. - She went to Africa to help Xander with a particularly tricky group of dark warlocks. - And the last time you took a vacation?

-A month ago, we went after this…

-Demon hunt doesn’t count as vacation.

-So, hmm, hmm, I don’t remember, Will. Anyway, look, I know what you are doing, and I appreciate that, but…

-No buts. You can lock yourself in your room, not that it would be actually your room, but we can buy the same things you have in your room in Africa, the council has a lot of money, and make a little plate written Xander, to make it your room permanently… Hey, I am babbling, why didn’t you stop my babbling?

-Will… - ignoring the question, Xander, said- I don’t need a vacation.

-Yes, you do, mister. Any way, you can lock yourself in your room, listen to country music and brood, here or in Johannesburg, and I want you to do this here. C’mon, Xander, you will like it here. I can take you out and introduce you to people.


-That’s it, I am calling Giles… And Buffy.

-Nothing I say will take it out of your mind, isn’t it?

-No, see, resolved voice!

-Ok, but what about the Council?

-Besede is doing great, and Kennedy, besides her “diplomatic skills”, isn’t bad either. I know that Besede can take care of her, and both will not let the council go to hell.

-Ok, Willow, I’ll go, I call you later when to tell you the date and time of my arrival. Brood? Did you say I am brooding? That’s Dayboy’s thing …

Lia was the cause of the Kennedy´s fiasco. She thought that that redhead girl was out of place in that club, and being out of place herself, maybe a little of small talk with some one would make the night a little better. Her friends had practically dragged her to the club because they thought it would make her forget what a bad day she had. Her boyfriend had just broken up with her and she just lost her very crappy job at the city hall. Technically, it was not a job, but an internship. Turns out that the girl was not only just thirsty, not actually out of place, but had a crazy and jealous hurricane as a girlfriend. The redhead was called Willow, as she learned when she was taking her and some of her friendsº home, because the hurricane had taken their car. Now, Lia was Willow’s new best friend and tour guide, as São Paulo is a very big city, and anyone who didn’t live there for most of their life, could easily get lost, as Willow experienced in her first months there. She was the first normal friend Willow had in years, normal meaning non-supernatural and/or a warrior for the good fight. Willow was glad to have a little of normalcy in her life. She was happy Lia didn’t have any knowledge of what weapon is the best to fight a Knepleshet demon.

She was now sitting in an outdoor café reading Xander´s last e-mail, waiting her new friend.

-Hey, Will- Lia said in a very good English, despite her accent. They had an agreement, Lia would speak in English with her, and Willow would speak in Portuguese with the Brazilian girl.

-Oi, Lia.

-Sorry, the traffic was awful, I should’ve know better already that to get to a place five minutes from my place it would take fifteen minutes, since I’ve been living here since, hmmm, I was born. – Looking at Willow’s computer- so, any news from your friends?

-Yeah, Xander is coming here in two week.

-That’s great, I am very anxious to meet one of the Scoobies? Isn’t that what you call yourselves? - Willow had told Lia all about their friends minus the scary or supernatural parts. It helped that the Sunnydale disaster was in the news as “a Californian city built on top of a cave system that fell into itself”, about her work for the Council, all the members used the same standard excuse, they were a feminist NGO that helps women to stand up for themselves. – Hey, Willow, you look a little sad, what’s up?

-I am not sad, I’m more, hmmm, a little concerned about Xander. He’s not good, nowhere near good, a thousand miles from good. We all felt that leaving him by himself would make him feel better, but it didn’t work, now I am pushing him to come here, I don’t know if it’ll work.

-Will don’t worry. Being near friends is always helpful. Ok, not always, not when you just broke up with your boyfriend, and they drag you to a stupid club, but a few days later, it is great. And from what I know, her fiancée died almost 2 years ago. So, yes, you’re doing the right thing. But, that’s just my opinion.

-You’re right.

-I am always right.

Willow sticks her tongue out.

-Hey, Li, can you do me a favor? I will have to work some days when he’s in town. Can you make him company for a while?

-Cute guy, nothing else to do? Sure, why not? But, that’s the last time I will sacrifice myself as a favor to you.

-Oh, thank you, thank you. -Changing her voice tone from mocking relief to concern- Hey, what do you mean, nothing else to do?

-Hmmm, I am jobless.

-Since when?

-Today. That jerk made me iron his shirts and… his boxers. And, I am not even his intern, I am Pedro’s intern, but as he is Pedro’s boss, he thinks he can make me do whatever crappy task he thinks I should do. That, I don’t know, what is the worse word he can be?

Willow thought in the all those disgusting demons she met in her, life, but decides to go safe, and with a laugh, said:


-Yeah, he is a fungus…

São Paulo, March 18th 2005

Xander went out of a crowded airport, looking for Willow. But everywhere he eyed he couldn’t find her. When he started wondering if he was in the wrong gate or he if he didn’t tell his friend the right time he was supposed to arrive in Brazil, he spotted a brunette waving frantically in his direction. She was very pretty, not thin but not fat, and quite tall. He walked towards her doing his best attempt to smile. The smile was for the girl, but also to stop anyone to try make he feel better. He was fine, he really was. His new lonely wolf life style was just as good as any other, and, frankly, it made him look cool. Not.

-Hey, Will, you look taller and brunette, and totally not like yourself, that’s a very good spell! - He joked.

-That’s because I am not Willow- she laugh- I am Lia; I’m your driver for today. Xander, right?

-Yeah- Xander was relieved because he didn’t mention anything suspicious, like, you know, slayer or where is your new axe. Willow had told him about Lia, her non-supernatural new friend, he wasn’t very fan of the idea of Willow hiding their weird side from the girl, but who were he to say anything- Where our favorite redhead?

-Hmm. She is parking the car. We thought you would take a little longer to arrive.

-Yeah, it was supposed to. But I think the gods were in my side. Hey, weren’t you supposed to be our driver for today?

-Yeah, hmmm, I hate to drive in the highway, I’m a little afraid of open spaces. Pathetic, I know. How was your flight?

-No problemas- Xander spoke in a fake Spanish accent.

-It is “sem problemas”- mocking an indignant look- and mister, no Spanish accents, we speak Portuguese here!

-I know, I know, just teasing you. That’s my specialty. Teasing Brazilian girls is what I do best.

He felt someone hugging him from behind.

-Hey, Will!

-Hi, Xander! You are early. How was your flight?

-Sem problemas.

-Hm, five minutes in Brazil, and you already learned Portuguese… So cute!

-He, he, he, Willow. So let’s go? I need food.

One hour and fifty minutes late, inside Willows apartment. Lia went home, Willow was amazed with an African mask, that her friend had made every one in the Johannesburg coven looked for any evidence of possession before giving it to her, and Xander was amazed with the 100 different kinds of pizza in the menu. After some discussion, they went for a half Cosa-Nostra (dried tomato and Brazilian cheese) half vegetarian, and one Calabreza, after Willow warnings that Brazilian Pepperoni pizza was actually a red pepper pizza. Willow called the pizza place, and in 30 minutes, the delivery guy arrived.

-So, Will, how is the translation going?

- Not very well. As I told you before, the ancient Egyptian part went well. It seems some kind of prophecy, but all the key words are in that other language, that I couldn’t identify. Giles told me he saw it before, but couldn’t find where. He looked in all the Council’s belongings, but after the first, a great part of it was lost, broken… Those minions were so evil!

-Yeah, Will, they were the First Evil minions…

-Hey- she threw a cushion in his face and it fell in his plate.

-Hey, I am the one who should say “hey”.

-You already said it. Your “hey” quota is over for today. - He made his best puppy face, and she said- Ok, ok, you your “hey” quota is over only for the hour.

-So, going back to the subject. What does the prophecy say?

-Ok. It is something about a portal, the translation is a little difficult, “doorway to heaven” or maybe “star gate”, something or someone is coming through that thing to end life, as we know it.

-Great, star gate, now it’s a demon from the outer space.

-Xander, from what know it can be anything, those things are always so cryptic. And we already had a demon from outer space, remember?

-That’s doesn’t mean we can’t have another one.

-True, and we defeated it.

-Yeah- Xander was a little reluctant- so, tell me more, when do you think that will happen?

-I don’t know. I hate prophecies. But there is some clue about where it may happen, a big rock.

-A big rock? That’s clue? Oh! Fuck, that’s awesome and very specific. Nothing about the size of this big rock?

-You know, my guess it has to be really big, mountain size, you know the PTB tend to be a little megalomaniac. I’ll call Giles to see if he found something about the other language. And I think we should start the hard work. I think the best thing to do is pinpoint our “big rocks”. Tomorrow, I’ll ask Flavia, one of my watchers in training, to see if she can do something about it. She is a geologist. But, hey, this is supposed to be your vacation. Why are we talking about work? Ok, your vacation officially starts, now.

-Fine, Will, but first I will ask Besede to send the tablet to your office.

-Ok. Xander, tomorrow I will have to work. Do you mind if Lia takes you out? She is a great tour guide.

-Oh, Will. Don’t you prefer if I go with you to the Council?

-No, vacation, remember?

Cheyenne Mountain, Same time, same day.

Daniel was sitting in his office, examining some new material they brought back from P9X-855, it was a particularly difficult text, because it was written in a language he couldn’t recognize. Actually, he couldn’t recognize one of the languages, since the tablet was written in two idioms; the other one was Goa´uld. That particular tongue didn’t had any strings in common with any other languages he knew, both alien and human. That driving him crazy, when his other reason for insanity stormed in his office.

-Hey, Space monkey!

-Hey Jack. - Daniel answered him in a very irritated tone.

-I was in the neighborhood, and decide to pay a visit to my old friend, who I haven’t seen you in days.

-We saw each other early in the afternoon. That was your third visit to my office, today.

-True. What is making you so cranky today?

The archeologist sighted, and calmed himself down.

-This tablet, I can seem to understand it. It is written in two languages, one is Goa´uld, and the other I had never seen it before. Actually, I do remember seeing it, but I am not quite sure where.

-I know I am going to regret it, but what does the Goa´uld part say?

-It is a warning, something about magic globe, which I am guessing is some kind of technology that will end life, as we know it. It says something about a fire woman with enough power to control it and a blind man who sees. The device had to be used in the Stargate to work.

-Ok, I knew I would regret. Where do you think you saw the other language?

-I can remember. That’s killing me.

-Daniel, when was the last time you had some sleep?


-Why do I even ask? Ok, if you don’t go home in the next ten minutes, I will talk to Dr. Frasier, and you will have to spend the rest of the week in the infirmary. Understood?

-Yeah, Jack.

-And don’t even think of taking anything out of this office. I’m staying here until you are out of this facility. And for a little more time to see if you don’t come back…

The End?

You have reached the end of "Two tablets, a witch and a jaded archeologist." – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 6 Dec 05.

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