Everybody Loves Willow!
by P.H. Wise
A Buffy the Vampire Slayer spamfic
Disclaimer: I don’t own Buffy the Vampire Slayer, nor do I own Harry Potter. Buffy is Joss’s baby. Harry Potter belongs to that Rowlings woman, who lives in a magical flying castle somewhere off the coast of Scotland, and has entire armies of house elves who cater to her every whim.
Willow was in a panic. In fact, she was practically hyperventilating. She was meeting a new person today. “Oh Goddess,” she said, resorting to an easy to remember, intensely fanon catch-phrase in her nervousness. “I’m meeting my real mother for the first time today. What if she doesn’t like me? What if she thinks I’m a horrible person?”
“Don’t be silly, Willow,” Buffy said. “Everyone loves you.”
“We love you Willow!” everyone called.
“See?” Buffy said.
“Aw, that’s so sweet!” Willow replied. “I love you too, everyone!”
A man in black robes stepped out of the shadows, a wand clasped in his hand and pointed directly at Everyone’s Favorite Redhead. “I don’t love you, Willow! I hate you! And I hate the way everyone loves you!”
Buffy stepped forward and killed the Evil Person with a stake through the heart.
Willow gasped. “Buffy!”
“What? He was evil! I could tell because only an evil person could possibly hate you!”
Willow frowned. ”I don’t know. He could have thought I was a different
Buffy shrugged. “He was probably a Death Eater. You know how they hate you for single handedly destroying Voldemort with a wave of your hand after that Harry Potter kid and Bumblebore...”
“Dumbledore,” Willow said.
“Whatever. After they completely failed to so much as scratch him with the best magics that they could throw at him.”
Willow nodded. “Good point.”
“We love you, Willow,” everyone called again, “you obvious non-Mary Sue, non-SI character, you!”
Willow smiled goofily at everyone.