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Don't Quit Your Day Job

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Summary: In all the mystical craziness that makes up Anita Blake’s social life, we often forget that she has a day job… a very odd, creepy, day job.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Anita Blake > GeneraldulcineaFR1353,20901015,42229 Dec 0511 May 06Yes

NOTE: This chapter is rated FR7

20 Minutes with Charles Gunn

Start 10:58

Anita fired her gun into the beast then ducked behind the closest tombstone. “I thought this was supposed to be a simple case. Raise Mr. Stevenson, let the lawyer ask some questions, and go home.”

“It is.” The lawyer replied dodging behind the same tombstone.

“That’s not simple.” Anita glanced up and got one more shot at the very dead thing ambling towards them.

“Well, bringing a sacrificial chicken wasn’t exactly the brightest idea. I’m pretty sure he considers all birds sacred.”

“What is that thing?” Anita said, watching yet another bullet do no damage to the zombie beast.

“That’s Mr. Stevenson.”

“Mr. Stevenson is blue with talons for hands?”

“Actually, his species is typically more green. I don’t think death agreed with him.”

“That’s one way to put it.” Anita aimed at the creature’s knees, hoping to stop it from approaching any closer.

“Cover for me.” The lawyer said as he jumped up from their hiding spot and howled something like “Aaargh!” to the beast.

Before she could take another shot, the creature froze and eyed the lawyer with new appreciation. “Oogedy-boogedy.” The lawyer continued.

The creature let out a sound like a deflating tire. Anita couldn’t help but wonder if the lawyer was in fact a demon himself given the way he and the zombie beast were communicating with grunts and howls.

A few minutes later, the lawyer turned to Anita and smiled. “I’ve gotten what I need. If you could just put him back, Ms. Blake, I think we can go home.”

“How am I supposed to do that when he’s released the second sacrifice?” Anita groaned, trying not to look too desperately at the empty cage by the open grave.

“Try asking politely.” The lawyer answered, keeping his eye on the demon as he slid a small hatchet out of this suit jacket pocket. “And you might want to hurry it up. I don’t think Mr. Stevenson likes being animated.”

“Mr. Stevenson, can you please go back to rest?” The blue hominoid just turned his empty glare to her. “So much for that idea. We’ll just have to do this the old fashion way. Mr. Gunn, can you watch my back? If he makes any sudden moves…” Anita didn’t know what, but she knew she had to be the sacrifice for this one.

“No problem.” The lawyer said, and then translated it into howls and grunts. Anita made a small incision on her arm and used the blood to complete the circle around the grave and finish the ritual. “Rest.” She finally pronounced.

Surprisingly, the demon laid down and let the earth reclaim him without a fight. Releasing the breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding Anita turned to the lawyer. “Well, that was certainly interesting.”

“Thank you for your help, Ms. Blake. Here’s my card. I’m sure Wolfram and Hart will be contacting you with future requests.” The young black man said with a charming smile more suited for a car salesman than someone who had just faced down an oversized blue chicken with nothing more than a hatchet.

“Funny, I think I’m all booked up.” Anita said through clenched teeth. She didn’t care how much they paid. Bert would hear about this one.

End 11:20. doh. Forgive me for the extra two minutes, please.
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