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Don't Quit Your Day Job

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Summary: In all the mystical craziness that makes up Anita Blake’s social life, we often forget that she has a day job… a very odd, creepy, day job.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Anita Blake > GeneraldulcineaFR1353,20901015,32029 Dec 0511 May 06Yes

20 Minutes with Cordelia Chase

Title: Don’t Quit Your Day Job
Author: dulcinea
Rating: FR12
Disclaimer: I have no shares in Animators, Inc., nor do I own the rights to the Anita Blake Series or BtVS characters.
Summary: In all the mystical craziness that makes up Anita Blake’s social life, we often forget that she has a day job… a very odd, creepy, day job.
A/N: With just a few days left in the year, I decided it would be a good idea to tackle a few of the pairings left in the FFA. This is a collection of 20 Minutes with... challenge answers.


Start 11:29

“Angel Investigations; we help the hopeless.” A tired voice snapped over the phone.

“I’m looking for Angel.” Anita asked, wondering once again if this wasn’t just a joke her coworkers were playing on her- leaving a message to call long distance and ask for an angel.

“He’s not here.” The receptionist answered. Anita was just relieved that there was a real person by that name.

“Can I leave a message?”

“Just a sec… okay, I’m ready.”

“Can you tell him Anita Blake from Animators, Inc. is returning his phone call?”

“Oh! You’re the slayer from St. Louis!” The girl’s voice suddenly perked up.

“Slayer?” Anita couldn’t help but ask.

“Slayer, executioner, to-may-to, to-mah-to.” The girl answered with a casual indifference. “I’m Cordelia Chase.”

“That’s nice.” Anita wondered just why the receptionist felt the need to introduce herself.

“I’ve read all about you.” The receptionist continued.

“Oh?” Anita cringed. A lot of what came out about her in the press was not exactly favorable.

“Yeah, when Angel asked me to find a necromancer to consult, the names that kept coming up were you or John Burke. It was a tough call, but from the website you seemed so much more, oh, I don’t know, together? Well, except for that polo shirt and the jacket look you got going? That’s so 80s. But hey, you spend time with the vamps, undoubtedly their passé fashion sense rubs off…Speaking of, ugh, legwarmers, what was I thinking this morning?” The girl’s voice trailed off in shallow self-reflection.

“Right, so I’ll be in the office until five if he wants to call back.” Anita decided ending this conversation would be a good thing.

“Oh, no need, I have the list of his questions for you right here.” Cordelia answered. “Okay, first one, do you think it’s possible for a vampire to be animated?”

“Well, it’s already dead…” Anita wasn’t sure what the girl meant, but she didn’t feel like describing Damien’s situation to a total stranger over the phone, so she settled for sounding vague.

“If a vampire was killed, like stake through the heart, could it be re-animated though?” The girl persisted.

“Well… I’ve never seen that done, but I’d highly doubt it. You’d need a full necromancer to pull that off, and I don’t know of any who would attempt that.” Except herself, if the situation was desperate enough, Anita admitted to herself.

“So, Darla wasn’t animated. Check.” The girl crossed something off her list. “Okay, in your capacity as an executioner, have you ever seen a pregnant vampire?”

“Is this a prank call?” Anita frowned at the bizarre line of questioning.

“Pshaw, I wish.” Cordelia snorted.

“Then why do you want to know if a vampire can get pregnant?”

“We’ve got a bit of a situation here.” The girl’s voice dropped as though she didn’t want someone overhearing. “Angel’s sire was killed, as in staked.”

“So Angel is a vampire.” Anita reasoned. Great, just what she needed, a vampire with problems.

“Well, duh, I mean why else wouldn’t he be in his office during the middle of the day? So, his dead sire returned as a human…”

“That’s impossible! Even if you were to animate a dead vampire, it would come back as a vampire.” Anita cut in.

“Yeah, we covered that and I marked it off the list. So, back to my story. She comes back as human, gets pregnant, and then gets re-vamped, so now we’re trying to figure out the likelihood the baby will turn out normal.”

“How long ago was this?” Anita frowned. This sounded much worse than a prank call.

“Oh, I don’t know. A few days? Maybe?”

“She hasn’t miscarried yet? That’s what normally happens when pregnant women are turned, which is pretty rare anyway. Normally the baby can’t survive in a dead mother. Vlad syndrome babies are generally just if the father was a vampire.”

“Which he was.” Cordelia grumbled.

“Well, then, I would say it’s highly unlikely the baby will carry to term. Of course I’m not a doctor.”

“But even doctors don’t know what to say about this.” Cordelia finished for her. “Well, thanks for your opinion. That’s all we really wanted to ask you about. Have a nice day.”

“Alright. You too.” Anita put down the phone and frowned. For once, her life didn’t sound so complicated.

End 11:49
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