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Not Quite Heaven

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Summary: Buffy's dive off the tower into Glory's portal has her falling through the Chaapa'ai and leading the people she finds to freedom. What happens when she meets SG1 and has the possibility of returning to the home she left behind.*Nominated for a 2007 CoA*

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Stargate > Buffy-Centered > Pairing: Jack O'NeillkimbclarFR183036,65527297249,7961 Jan 063 Sep 07No

Jack, Please Let Me Beat Up Something!

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE – Jack, Please Let Me Beat Up Something!

Willy’s Bar

Willy’s bar was crowded with demon’s playing pool, poker or just drinking the night away. The bar’s namesake and owner was busy behind the bar serving up beer, blood and whiskey. He was a happy man whose business had been booming the past few weeks.

Just as Willy served a round of blood to a group of vampires the room became deathly quiet. If Willy hadn’t known better he would have thought the Slayer was back. Not the dark haired one she just didn’t inspire fear the way Buffy did. When the noise level didn’t pick back up Willy looked toward the entrance and saw his worst nightmare, Buffy Summers.

He tried to run but the back exit was blocked by Spike. ‘Damn,’ Willy thought, ‘why did a perfectly evil vampire have to turn good.’

“Hey Slayer, welcome back. I’d say you’ve been missed but you’d know I was lying. But if it would make you happy I’d say it anyway.”

Buffy slowly sauntered toward the slimy bar owner. “Willy, Willy, Willy. There’s no need to lie. I’m certainly not happy to see you so I don’t see why either of us should sugar coat it.”

Buffy reached across the bar and grabbed Willy with both hands by his shirt collar and pulled his face within inches of hers.

Buffy sniffed, “Ewww! Willy when was the last time you bathed or brushed your teeth. You stink. Ick, the things I go through as the slayer.”

“Well, far be it for me to trouble you slayer. I could just go home and bathe and we could pick this up when I smell better,” Willy pleaded knowing that it wouldn’t really get him anywhere. This slayer liked violence and something told him he wouldn’t be getting out of tonight without a broken nose.

“So sorry Willy. I’ll just have to put up with your stench for a few minutes,” Buffy said shaking Willy so hard his head jerked back and forth. “I (shake) need (shake) information (shake)!”

Willy really wished she’d ask him a question so at least the pain that he would soon be feeling would at least have a purpose. The way the slayer was going tonight he’d probably have a body full of bruises before she even told him what she wanted to know.

Jack laughed, “Buffy maybe we shouldn’t play with the informant.”

“Jack, you’re ruining all my fun tonight. First, you wouldn’t let me hit the motel clerk. Now you won’t let me manhandle Willy without actually asking him for information. Fine, show him the picture.”

Jack then held the picture of Ethan in front of Willy who looked at it quizzically. “Ethan Rayne, why you looking for him. As far as I know he hasn’t been in Sunnydale in years.”

At this response Buffy shook Willy again hard and then slammed his head down on the bar. “Are you sure? Willy, I’d hate for you to be lying to me. But then that wouldn’t surprise me because almost every word that comes out of your mouth is a lie. So I’m going to ask you very nicely. Are you sure you haven’t seen Ethan or maybe heard about him coming into town?”

Willy cringed as he answered sure that his lack of knowledge wouldn’t save him from a broken nose. “Slayer, I haven’t heard anything about Rayne. I promise. I swear on my mother’s life.”

“Willy, just for grins say I do believe you. In order for me to leave you alone I’m going to need a few things from you. First, if Ethan does come back to town I want your first call to be to me. Second, I need to know who the dark magic broker here in town is. If you do both those things I won’t break your nose or any of your other parts. At least not tonight.”

Willy heaved a deep sigh of relief. This was something he could do. If he heard of Ethan coming to town one phone call to the Slayer wouldn’t hurt him because the information could have come from any source and as for Rack well that jackass owed him money. Nope he didn’t have any loyalties there.

“Slayer, whatever you want just don’t damage me anymore. If I hear word one about Ethan you’ll be the first to know. As for the dark magic broker the guy you’re looking for is named Rack. But he’s hard to find. His place is cloaked. If you want to find it you’ll need one of his charms.”

Buffy gave Willy an evil grin and relaxed her grip on his collar allowing him to slide back to his side of the bar, “And just where can I get one of his charms?”

Willy returned her grin with one of his own, “I just happen to have one. But, slayer Rack’s powerful. Don’t go in there half cocked you’ll need some mystical protection to keep him from using his magics on you.” Willy then reached under the bar and brought out a small brass coin and handed it to Buffy.

“Thanks for the tip Willy. Mind you don’t forget our little bargain. Because if you cross me I’ll make sure our next meeting is painful. Call the Magic Box with any information you hear on Ethan.”

Buffy stepped back from the bar and dusted her hands off. “Willy, please take a bath. Oh and Willy,” Buffy said as she cocked back her fist and punched him in the nose, “I lied about the nose. But don’t think about crossing me cause you have plenty of other parts I could break.”

Then she turned to Jack and Spike who were looking at her aghast, “What? I told you I wanted to hit something. It’s your fault Jack since you wouldn’t let me hit the clerk. Come on let’s head back to the shop and check in with Giles. Then I’ve got a date with a hot bath. I’ve had to deal with way to much ickyness for one night.”
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