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Always the crazy ones

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Summary: "You said the W-word, didn't you?"

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Firefly > GeneralNorwegianneFR1521,6721127,71510 Jan 0622 Jan 06No


Anya is not amazed at the universe stretching out in front of her. Why would she be? For someone accustomed to inter-dimensional teleporting, the notion of this particular universe being large does nothing for her.

Jumping into the future – and not really knowing how she did it– on the other hand, that makes her just a little bit uncomfortable. Meeting a brand new crew of Scoobies, except that they don’t call themselves Scoobies, of course, is also a bit unsettling.

She doesn’t know if Spike has picked up on it, yet. It’s not something that is overly blatant – just the little things. How they stick together, against those who’re not fellow Scoobies.

“’S pretty big, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Anya says. “Though, having travelled through more dimensions that mortals can hope to discover, I must say that size is not really an indicator of anything, except size.”


“It’s not how big it is, Spike. It’s how you use it.”

He laughs softly at that. “Imagine,” he says as he keeps looking out. “You and me, Demon girl – going boldly where no man have gone before.”

“Ahem, if I may?” It is their captain, and he is not looking too pleased at finding them in the steering room, or whatever technical term humanity have chosen to put on it. “What do the two of you think you’re doing up here?”

“Looking,” Anya simply says. It would hurt too much to tell them that she’s thinking of Xander, and the place she had become accustomed to calling home. The place that that girl River kept referring to as Earth-that-was, during their meeting. Earth-that-was, she’d said. And none of the others had blinked as much as an eye-lid, which meant that it was probably true. Earth didn’t exist anymore. It's about as mythical to these people, as the place Anya once used to call home had been to students of Sunnydale High.

Right now, the only ones able to bear witness about its non-mythical existence are Spike and herself. Neither of them technically supposed to exist.

“And anytime either one of you would want to enlighten me about how you got here, it would be fine with me.”

“What are you going to do to get us to talk, tie us to a chair and not give us any Thanksgiving dinner?” Spike asks, and Anya giggles a bit as she remembers what Spike is referring to – it was a horrible Thanksgiving, really, bears, syphilis and all, but in the end it sort of worked out all right. And about 500 years worth of retrospect, or how many it really was, can make anything seem funny. She should know.

“I wasn’t planning on it, no. River trusts you. She’s a mite unstable, but she knows people. Sort of.”

“So why do you want to know? I mean, if this River trusts us, don’t you already know everything you need to know?”

The captain stared at Anya. Then he looked at Spike.

“Ah,” he grimaced. “River doesn’t work that way.”

Spike is getting bored with the situation. “Look here, mate. We don’t know how we got here. One minute I was about to get fairly lucky with Anya, here, and the next minute we’re here. Can I have some to eat?”


Anya rolls her eyes. “What are you hungry for, Spike?”

He ponders that for a few minutes. “You wouldn’t happen to have those nifty onion blossom things, just lying about, would you?”

After reassuring herself that Spike isn’t intending to reveal himself as a vampire by demanding blood, which would be a very bad idea considering that the captain and his crew might be carrying some misconceptions about certain aspects of vampires, Anya tunes him out and looks out towards the universe. As far as she can tell, there was some turn of events that were put in motion back at the Magic Box, which led to her and Spike to being sent forward in time, and physical space. But what?

A new shipment had just come in, and she had been busy getting everything back on track. As long as the shipment was just standing there, well, she had a lot of capital invested in inventory, but unless people bought it – she wouldn’t get her money back.

Anya thinks back to when she ordered it.

As she remembers, she winces. It had seemed like such a good thing to have in stock, at the time. Anya files away for future reference, in case she should open a branch of the Magic Box here in the future - not to order anything from any firm who can’t spell four-letter words properly. She decides that her fate was probably sealed the moment she opened the catalogue from “Tru Luv 4-Eva.” Never mind what was running through her head when she ordered anything considered sex-magic. She had known that those things were wildly unpredictable, but then again, she hadn’t expected almost having orgasms with Spike.

She sighs. It feels good to know what brought her into the future. It feels bad not being able to sue the manufacturer for this, quite obvious, malfunction. She is sure that it would be a case she would win a lot of money on. Or, at least lead to a lot of publicity, which in turn might lead to a lot of money.

Thinking about money makes her wonder what happened to her bonds and stocks, and if anyone had been smart enough to invest them for her in the future.

Considering who might gain control of them when she disappeared, probably not.

Anya doesn’t like the idea of being poor. Yet, the universe stretched out in front of her has got to have several profitable venues just waiting to be exploited.

She smiles slowly, as she contemplates her next move.

The End?

You have reached the end of "Always the crazy ones" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 22 Jan 06.

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