Chapter 5: Life After Death
Once I explained the whole thing to Angel, Spike and the rest of the AI gang they were totally cool with it all. I have a whole new identity, care of Wolfram and Hart. I am now Aurora Snow, at least for now. Angel set me up with an apartment in LA, and I enrolled in college. I figure if I’m gonna live forever I might as well have some knowledge to go with it.
I’m on payroll at the law firm, and I’m helping out with the help the hopeless thing they do. It’s a lot different here than it was back home. I am a part of things now, not just someone to do research and get saved all the time. Angel doesn’t treat me like a kid, and I appreciate that. Spike is way over protective of me, and I kinda like that too. A little reminder of home. I have regular training sessions with Angel and Spike, and once in a while Illyria. She weirds me out though, so I keep those to a minimum. I’m getting a lot better now, because no one here goes easy on me, and I love that.
I still miss Buffy, and everyone else back in Cleveland. Some days it gets really hard not to run home. But I know I can’t. They will all move on, and I have a life here now. As much as I miss them, I can’t begin to imagine being there to watch them die. Maybe deep down I’m just a coward, but I don’t care. It’s better this way. It has to be.
I got a letter from Adam a few weeks later, post marked Paris. My first piece of mail as Aurora. I thought about writing back, but there was no return address. Even if there was, I don’t know how long he would be there. He’s not the type to stay in one place for long. I keep his letter on the first page of the scrapbook I’ve started, to keep memories of my life before I am old enough to start forgetting. Whenever I fell like giving up, when I think I’m ready to die for real, I read it again. On the top of the page, above his letter, is one word. Hope.
I hope this finds you still in good faith. I know things are hard for you right now. Adjusting to a new life is always difficult, but it will get easier with time. If I can survive this long, I know you can. You have a much more sensible head than I do. After all, if I could pass on the wisdom of my years in only a few weeks, I can’t be as wise as I thought. However, I do have some final wisdom to pass on. Firstly, be who you are. Make mistakes, so long as you learn from them. Someday, I will tell you about the mistakes I’ve made, and believe me they were big ones, and you will see how much I learned from them. Second, be happy. Forever is too long to be unhappy with who you are or what you do, so do what brings you joy, what ever that may be. And lastly, live. Don’t just be alive, but truly live life, or all your years will be a waste. Choose your fights well. Live. Grow strong. Fight another day.