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A Touch Twisted

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Summary: My version of what would have made the Season 7 episode Touched a whole lot better, and less weird. Pairings: read on and you'll find out, gentle, um...readers...

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
BtVS/AtS Non-Crossover > Romance > Anya/FaithWhisperOfFaithFR1512,784022,23622 Jan 0622 Jan 06Yes
Title: A Touch Twisted
Pairings: Read on and find out, you should have some idea anyway
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of these characters, they call belong to Joss Whedon (all hail Joss), though I wish I owned several of them…
Feedback: Makes me happy

This story is set in the middle of the Season 7 episode Touched, and is my twisted version of what I would rather have seen happen (because um, Faith/Wood? Blagh, not a relationship I saw coming, or that I wanted), it starts in the middle of when the First as the Mayor is talking to Faith, I left out the Spuffy scenes in the episode.


“Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Language! You’re a leader now. Keep throwing the “h-e-double hockey sticks” around pretty soon the girls will pick up on it, then what?”
“Hey, let me worry about the girls.”
“Of course. You’re doing a great job, much better than Buffy. You were smart to kick her out.”
“That’s not what we…” Faith stopped, “Buffy got ‘em this far.”
“Why are you protecting her? Do you think she cares about you? She nearly killed you, Faith.”
“Its different now.”
The Mayor walked up to Faith, “No matter what you do, Buffy will always see you as a killer, not as a person. And now you have what she so desperately wants: the respect of these girls. All she needs is an excuse to finish what she started when she stuck that knife in your belly,” he said, pointing at the scar of the wound she still had. It prickled as if to remind her it still wasn’t gone.
“You stay on guard, Faith. Buffy’s dangerous. If you’re not careful, she’ll destroy you.”
Faith kept her gaze trained on anything but the Mayor’s face.
“I’m just sayin’,” said the Mayor cheerfully. “Deep down, you always wanted Buffy to accept you. To love you even. Why do you think that is?”
Faith looked sceptically at him. “You a shrink now?”
“You keep looking for love and acceptance from these people, these “friends” of yours, but you’re never going to find it. The truth is, nobody will ever love you. Not the way I love you.”
“Get out.”
“They’ll forever see you as a killer.”
“I said get out,” Faith reiterated, getting slightly more pissed off.
“I’ll always be with you, firecracker, in everything you do.”
Then he was gone.
Faith sat down on the edge of the bed.
“Who were you talking to?”
Faith jumped a little, seeing Anya in the doorway. “No one.”
Anya looked slightly miffed at Faith’s harsh words, and turned to leave.
“It was the First.”
The other woman stopped and walked back into the room. “Who…who was it?” Anya sat down on the bed next to Faith.
“The Mayor,” said Faith, as she brought her knees up underneath her chin and rested her feet on the bed. She put her arms around her legs and put her head on her knees, facing Anya.
“The same Mayor that you turned evil and tried to destroy Sunnydale with? The ascension guy?”
“Yes. He told me…he told me that Buffy was dangerous.”
“Well she can get rather angry at times, and she went rather strange after Glory took Dawn that time.”
Faith looked at Anya, confused.
Catching the look on her face, Anya shifted backwards on the bed and crossed her legs in front of her. “Glory was a Hellgod bent on using Dawn to open the gate to the different dimensions so that she could get home. She managed to get Dawn but then Buffy saved her after Willow went into her mind or something, I don’t know, I had to look after Tara, she went insane after Glory sucked her brain out.”
“You’re wicked confusing, you know that?”
“I’ve often been told that.”
“It doesn’t bother you what all these people think of you?”
“Well, when I first became human, I didn’t understand why people thought I was strange, and then when I became a vengeance demon again, everyone thought I was evil, so it didn’t really matter that they thought anything more than that.”
“But as a vengeance demon, you are evil, hence the word ‘demon’ on the end of your title.”
Anya sighed, “I guess so. But then, you were evil too, so you can’t talk.”
Faith shrugged.
“You want icecream?” asked Anya, completely changing the subject.
Faith smiled and shook her head at Anya, “Sure.”
Anya nodded and got up, and Faith heard her creep down the stairs, probably not wanting the potentials to know she was stealing their much-guarded icecream.
Faith lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling until she heard heavy footsteps outside the room. Anya rushed back in, slammed the door behind her and slid to the floor leaning against it. There were angry shouts from outside the door, and there were some audible thumps.
“Damn potentials, they need to learn to share.”
Faith laughed and joined Anya on the floor, putting her weight against the door too, so the angry girls outside definitely couldn’t get in.
“Cappuccino, nice choice.”
“I dropped a spoon,” said Anya, holding up the remaining utensil.
“No matter,” Faith said, snatching it from Anya and dipping it into the icecream.
“Hey!” Faith grinned as Anya realised she had nothing to eat the icecream with and tried to grab the spoon back. Faith held it on her other side and waved it around dramatically.
Anya tried to grab it, but to no avail, so she settled for crossing her arms and looking grumpy, leaning back against the door.
“Here, can’t have you looking like that,” said Faith, handing the spoon to the woman sitting beside her. Anya took the spoon suspiciously.
“I haven’t done anything to it other than use it to eat icecream, you saw me, and its not like I’d do anything to it anyway, you’re the one I’d be least likely to do anything to.”
“Me? Least likely?”
“Yeah, I know I said I’d had enough of females, but you’re a little different, not as girly as some of them.”
“Lucky me… hey, are you saying I’m one of those girls that likes to think they’re a man?”
“Um, what? A tomboy? No, you’re just not as squealy. Ugh, I can’t stand them, those potentials, half of them aren’t gonna make it through the fight, they ain’t ready.”
“I thought you were doing a pretty good job myself. Buffy was all about the speeches, you get down to business.”
“Well, I do that in every aspect of life.”
Faith realised what she’d said and look sideways at Anya. She had stifled a laugh and Faith took the opportunity to steal the spoon back off her.
“You’re not as nice as Xander, we take turns with the spoon.”
“Well I’m not Xander am I? In jail you learn to take things without thinking, or you miss out. It’s a habit now.”
“What else did you learn in jail?”
“Well, that you take what sex you can get, but mostly that redemption is hard, harder than anything I’ve ever done before.”
“Go back to the sex. You’re saying you slept with women?”
“Well, yeah. Is that a problem?”
“Everybody’s a lesbian.”
“What? I’m no lesbian.”
“Well Willow is, Kennedy is, you were, at least for a while…”
“Well what about you, Mrs. Almost-Harris?”
Anya went slightly red. “Well, vengeance is a job that requires you to, well, be flexible…”
Faith sat up and turned to face Anya. “You’re telling me that you, Xander-lover, was a lesbian too? I don’t believe it. You love men too much.”
“Oh, I love men too much? This is coming from Miss I-Slept-With-Xander-Too.”
“That was high school, its way, way in the past.”
Faith grinned. “You were the one talking about your break-up sex in the basement, not me.”
“I’d be a better lesbian than you,” said Anya snakily, leaning back up against the door, looking at her legs, one stretched out in front of her, the other folded under it.
“Oh, you wanna bet?” said Faith, raising an eyebrow and giving Anya a half smile.
“Sure, how much? Money is good.”
“Never been much of a talker, more of a doer.”
“But I’m not a lesbian anymore, that doesn’t work.”
“Hey, neither am I, I just don’t like to lose,” Faith was away from the door, kneeling, still with that same grin on her face.
Anya looked at Faith sceptically for a second. Things where whirring in her brain. She didn’t want to lose out to Faith, she was a vengeance demon after all, she saw things through to the end, but then there was the issue of her not liking girls. The grin started to die from Faith’s face as she saw Anya’s furrowed brow.
“What’s wrong?”
“Well nothing really.” Anya didn’t sound sure to Faith.
“Look, forget it. Its just, its been a while is all.” Faith sat back down and flicked the container that the icecream was beginning to melt in with a finger. She mirrored Anya’s way of sitting and closed her eyes. She opened them abruptly however when she felt a weight on her legs. Anya was straddling her, with a rather pained look on her face.
“Am I that repulsive?”
“No, I think I pulled a muscle.”
Faith laughed. Anya grimaced as she got off Faith and stood up.
“Here, give me a hand and I’ll take a look at it.”
Anya took the dark haired slayer’s hand and pulled her up.
“Where is it?”
“In my back,” Anya gestured to the small of her back and Faith tested it by pressing two fingers lightly into it. After getting nothing but a huff from Anya she pressed harder. It made the muscle quiver a bit and Anya flinched.
“That hurts?”
Anya bit her lip and nodded.
“Okay, trust me when I say this makes it better,” Faith splayed both her hands over Anya’s muscle and put her thumbs so they were facing each other. She then pressed down and ran her thumbs along Anya’s back to her sides, reasonably hard.
Anya turned, looking surprised. “It does make it better, thanks.”
“Hey, I do what I can,” Faith shook out her hands then hooked her thumbs through her belt-loops and walked over to the bed.
“And I can return the favour.”


Willow walked towards her room, but as she neared it, Xander stopped her.
“Hey, Will, have you seen Anya? She disappeared on me.”
“Last time I saw her she was talking about Faith’s icecream. Or stealing icecream, or potential icecream, or something, you know Anya, when she talks fast she’s rather hard to understand.”
“Oh, well never mind then. You need help with anything?”
“Well, this could be more fun for two people than one,” said Willow, waving around the paper she was holding.
Xander nodded and the two headed back down the stairs.
Kennedy scowled as she peeled herself away from the doorway and returned to the bed.


Faith turned to find Anya standing right behind her. She was now wearing the look Faith had had earlier; she looked extremely cocky.
Faith was suddenly hit with the idea that maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. This was Anya, she belonged to Xander, at least in her eyes, she didn’t even know her that well.
But it was too late to change her mind as she found herself drawn forcefully toward Anya, their lips meeting. Her hands came out of her belt-loops as quick as they would come loose and found their way around Anya’s body, one arm wrapping around her back to pull her closer.
Anya felt that Faith wasn’t in the game, so she jumped onto the slayer and wrapped her legs around her hips, pushing her backwards onto the bed. Now straddling her, Anya flicked her hair back and started to kiss Faith again, one hand on her stomach, working its way under her shirt, the other on the bed, propping her up.
Faith, not used to being on the bottom, took charge and flipped Anya onto her back, and rested her now bare belly on Anya’s. “Sorry, An, can’t let you lead this dance all night.” Faith bent down again and ravaged Anya’s mouth with her tongue, before moving slowly down her neck, kissing her lightly all the way, making Anya shiver slightly every time. At the base of her neck, Faith stopped. Anya sat up slightly, resting her head on the bed’s headboard, looking at Faith, confused.
“Why are you stopping?”
So that I could get your top off of course,” said Faith, doing what she had just said she would. She ran a hand through her hair then grinned evilly. Kissing Anya again, she pressed herself up against her, savouring the feel of warm skin on skin, and kissed her way back up Anya’s neck, and back to her mouth. Faith held herself off Anya slightly, and a hand found her stomach, one finger running ever so lightly across it, making her quiver, she moved her finger down, so that it was just above her skirt-line and did the same thing again. Anya whimpered slightly. Grinning again, Faith moved one of her legs up Anya’s pulling up her skirt to her thigh, and let her fingers dance across the newly exposed skin.
Anya didn’t like to be teased, she wrapped her arms around Faith’s back and pulled her back into her again, she wanted to be touching, not tauntingly close. She grabbed Faith face with one hand and pulled her mouth toward her, pushing her tongue inside and loving how Faith didn’t hesitate for a second. Anya desperately wanted Faith’s top off, not just halfway up her stomach, so began tugging insistently at it. Faith laughed and pulled it over her head, disregarding it on the floor. Anya ran a finger right down the middle of the dark slayer, from her collarbone to the top of her pants. She fingered the button, managing to undo it while still taking the almost hungry kisses from Faith, until the door opened.
Faith heard it, stopped, and flicked her long hair back with a hand. She turned almost lazily, and looked sceptically at whoever had walked in the door.
It was Wood. He looked at the two, Faith sitting on Anya’s legs, and Anya sitting up now, a hand almost protectively on the slayer’s stomach.
“Hey, principal, sorry about the room bein’ already booked.”
“We need you downstairs, things are getting a little weird,” Wood tried to keep his gaze averted as Faith got up and put her top back on.
“Be right there.”
“Oh, now I’m all hot for nothing,” said Anya sadly. She got back up, and Faith grabbed her by the waist, pulling her back in to kiss her hard again. She kissed back down her neck, and felt the tiny beads of sweat on Anya’s skin.
“Poor Anya…guess you’ll just have to wait won’t you?”
Faith let go of Anya and started to walk away.
Anya wasn’t going to let the slayer she’d almost slept with get away that easily. She walked quietly up behind her and slid her arms around Faith’s waist, holding her back.
“Hey, you, Wood said we’re needed downstairs.”
“Well I don’t want to go downstairs. Everyone will look at me strangely, then I’ll say that we almost had sex, and then you…well you probably won’t get embarrassed, but everyone will then look at you strange, and then you might beat them up. Possibly with kitchen utensils.”
Faith laughed and whipped around so that Anya’s arms were still in the same position. She rested her own arms on Anya’s and looked at her. “You’re wicked strange, you know that?”
“Yes, but I also know you’re “wicked” wanting to have sex with me.”
Faith rolled her eyes. “I hope you know, this isn’t some relationship starter.”
“Yes, I know, I had sex with Spike once.”
Faith flinched a little, and then shook her head. “You’re very odd, and its for some reason a trait I find endearing in you. Now go downstairs, otherwise we’ll have Red in here giving us pointers.”

Yes, yes I’m well aware the ending sucks beyond the telling of it, but I don’t care.
RE: Faith/Anya. Am I the only one who thinks these two would have been one of the most hilarious people to slap together? Forget Wood and Xander. I mean, they put Willow and Kennedy together, and that’s got to be one of the most random couples in the history of the Buffyverse. I was just waiting for Buffy/Giles or something else strange like that after Willedy.
I’m officially a Fanya shipper, go me.

The End

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