Title: Xander in the land of Tweed (only not)
Warnings: Slash and strangeness
Disclaimer: I own nothing, I mean no harm.
Summery: Xander gets caught in a spell Willow is doing to get rid of a demon and is transported to another time and place. I split this into two different alternatives. S/X Slash
Xander in the Land of Tweed (only not) part 1
Xander awoke to several people shouting all at once, which was making his headache pound. He was laying flat on his back in the middle of what felt like a table. He confirmed that it was indeed a table when he opened his eyes and looked around. He was in the middle of what appeared to be an enormous dining hall, the ceiling looked like the sky and the clouds were moving. *Nifty, I wonder how they managed that.* he thought as he sat up slowly. There were several people standing to one side watching him, and a few more, who were trying to out yell one another across from them. Until they noticed he was awake.
“How did you apparate in here?” demanded a tall, greasy haired man.
“Apa-what?” was Xander’s intelligent response, but given that he’d just been sucked through some kind of portal deal, after taking a beating, he figured he was due some slack.
“Young man, I believe what Professor Snape was trying to ask is how you managed to end up here?” came from an older gentleman with a kind smile and dangerous eyes. *Ok, sooo not going to underestimate the Gandalf man.* “Got sucked through a portal, and now I’m here, where I’m apparently not supposed to be, from the look tall, dark and not so scary is giving me. Where is here? You all sound like Giles. So maybe this is England, only how come I ended up in the Land of Tweed? Only not, because none of you are all tweedy, uh, but then maybe it’s another dimension, where Tweed was swapped for sticks and dresses. I don’t have to wear a dress do I? Oh gods I hope not, ‘cause Spike would never let me live it down, and oh my gods! Spike is going to Kill Willow over this. Did I mention I babble when I’m nervous?”
Xander heard someone smothering a laugh and turned on his perch to look at the kids, a few years younger than him, two of whom were trying to cover their laughter while the girl in the group glared at them. *Oh gods, it’s just like Jesse, Willow and me when we were young*. He grinned at them briefly then turned back to the adults, several of whom looked like they were going to fry him.
“Young man…” started the sternest woman he had ever seen, but Xander interrupted her before she finished. “Xander, Ma’am, my name is Xander.”
“Yes well, Xander, how did you get sucked into, a portal, you said? And who is this Spike gentleman and why is he going to kill someone?” asked the Gandalf man. Who now seemed a whole lot friendlier for some reason. *I guess the Idiot Act really does work every time.* “Uh you see Willow, that’s my best friend, did this thing, but she wasn’t so careful, and wham, I was thrown through. Then I woke up here, in the land of not tweed. And Spike’s my uh, not really boyfriend, ‘cause he’s so not a boy, but I guess lover works. And he’s going to kill Willow for being not so much with the careful.” Xander explained.
More snickering was hear, as well as loud shushing noises from the back. Xander couldn’t help but grin at the old man, who wasn’t smiling, but there was a humorous twinkle in his eyes. “As this was apparently not your fault, I think perhaps we should introduce our selves and then get you cleaned up. I’m sure we can find you some serviceable muggle clothing, so you can avoid the dresses as you called them.” Xander frowned at the term muggle, wondering if he’d been insulted, but let it go as the Gandalf man continued. “I am Albus Dumbledore, the headmaster of Hogwarts, school of witchcraft and wizardry.”
“They have schools for Mojo here? That is so cool, if I weren’t so mad at her right now, I would totally w word Willow were here!” Xander exclaimed excitedly. Several of the people in the room gave him strange looks, but Dumbledore just continued. “Yes it is rather exciting. This lovely woman is Professor McGonagall. And I already mentioned Professor Snape. The enchanting red heads to the other side of you are Molly Weasley and her daughter Ginny. The red headed boy is Molly’s son Ron, with him is Hermione Granger and Harry Potter.” For a reason beyond Xander’s comprehension everyone paused and looked at him when Dumbledore said the last name.
“Er, great. So I guess it’s my turn, my name is Alexander Harris, but please just call me Xander, or there’s a good chance I won’t respond. Not because I would ignore you or anything, I just would recognize you were talking to me, because no one calls me anything but Xander.”
“Of course, perhaps we should get you cleaned up now?” so saying Dumbledore pointed his wand at Xander, who dodged away from it while stuttering out his explanation. “That’s not such a good idea mister. The Mojo and I are non-mixy.”
“I beg your pardon?” the adults all looked confused but the Potter kid stepped forward to translate. “I think he meant to say that magic doesn’t work right around him” he said looking at Xander for confirmation, and getting a nod in answer.
“I see” was all Dumbledore said.