Title: Tell you, I will too
Author: Angel Jade
Pairings: S/X (but technically X/Yoda)
Description: Xander visits the little green guy and gets some sound advice.
Setting: After the 1st one 'Tell you, I will'.
Distribution: Ask first please.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of this innocent fic, that privilege belongs to Mr.Whedon and co, who do make money from them, unlike me. *g*
"Okay...this is a dream. Not the usual hot sex with girls with...wait, I know this place." Xander stumbled across the unearthed roots and mist-hidden plants. "Think brain...come on...where am I?"
"Alexander, welcome you are to my home."
"Who said that?" Xander spun around looking for someone.
"Down here, I am." Yoda said, dryly.
Xander frowned as he looked down at the infamous character. "Yoda?"
"Know me, you do. As your friend did." Yoda replied, walking slowly across the terrain with his little stick.
"Friend?" And suddenly it all clicked. "Oh great. This is all Spike's fault. He put these thoughts in my head and now I'm having a weird dream. Unless there are naked girls...are there naked girls?"
Yoda chuckled. "Not 'naked girls' you seek, hmmm?"
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"Strange, he was. Different from most, but still very much in love with you."
"Who? Wait...he? You said he...he who? Who loves me?" Xander asked, quickly.
"Know, you do. You love him too." Yoda said, pausing to look back at the human following him.
"Love him? Him who? I don't love anyone. I mean...I do! I love Anya. My girlfriend. She's great..." Xander broke off. "Who do I love?"
"Not this girl, I know. Another you do seek affection with. Has spoken to me, he has." Yoda told him.
"Spike?" Xander said, not entirely sure why he sounded so...nervous about asking.
"Has admitted to me his feelings. You must do the same."
"Okay...Jedi are kinda sparse, I get that...but matchmaking? Kinda weird profession isn't it?" Xander joked.
"As he hides behind insults, you hide behind sarcasm. Will help neither of you." Yoda chastised.
"Okay...ew. Not into the whole...male vampireness of Spike. Not into Spike...okay?" Xander claimed. "I like Anya...love Anya."
"Keep slipping you, do. Love her you do not." Yoda argued.
"Don't say that...that's not...maybe I don't *love* her...but I...that doesn't mean I love Spike." Xander said, sitting down his eyes full of worry.
"Then tell him that, you must. For he loves you." Yoda explained.
"No way!" Xander yelled. "Spike does not...he's...Spike. Rude, mean, sarcastic and...rude. He so does not!"
"Afraid he does not, you are. But know he does, you do." Yoda argued.
"I don't know he does...and I don't want to know if he does...you're making me think bad thoughts...go away." Xander sulked, walking off.
"Then know this you must, he needs you." Yoda called after him.
Xander stopped dead in his tracks, his jaw clenched. "You're really endangering my worshiping of you."
Yoda said nothing; waiting for the question he knew would come.
"What do you mean, he needs me? He doesn't...does he? I mean...for food yeah...idiot can't even bite anymore...but..."
"Misses company, he does. Just as you have never experienced it." Yoda told him.
"I have!" Xander protested. "I've been with Faith and Cordelia and Anya...and well, people. I'm not alone."
"But with them you were not. Heart and soul, love is." Yoda said.
"And you're saying I'll have that with him?" Xander asked, the doubt in his voice wavering.
"Spike doesn't wait though...if he liked me, it'd show." Xander argued.
"Looked for the signs, have you?" Yoda asked.
"Of course." Xander said quickly, before realising what he'd said. "I mean...I..."
"Willing to admit the attraction, you are?" Yoda asked, carefully.
Xander sighed. "Not attraction...exactly...I just...think about him sometimes. In a bad way."
"Not bad...good it is. Find someone you love, you must." Yoda advised.
"But Spike? I don't...I shouldn't..."
"But you do." Yoda said, firmly. "Now admit it to him, you must."
"But if he laughs at me?" Xander asked, nervously.
"Trust your heart, not your head." Yoda said.
Xander smiled. "Well, that's probably a good idea, not the brightest crayon in the box, am I?"
Yoda remained silent.
"Well, thanks Yoda. May the force be with you and all that." Xander grinned. "Thanks...even if this thing ruins my reputation and...God help me...breaks my heart...thanks."
Yoda nodded. "May the force be with you, young Alexander."
"Uh...one thing though...because you're so smart and all?" Xander asked.
"Why the hell am I only wearing boxers?"
"Your dream it is...your choice of clothes."
Xander crossed his arms around his naked chest. "I'm my own worst enemy."
Xander opened his eyes and looked around, sitting up quickly. "Spike?"
The vampire looked away from the television and looked worriedly at Xander. "Yeah?"
"I...just...wondered if you were still here." Xander said, quickly.
"I'm still tied up...where did ya think I'd go?" Spike asked sarcastically.
"You dreamt about Yoda last night, right?" Xander asked nervously.
Spike perked up and turned the TV off. "Yeah. So?"
"Just wondering." He waited for a moment before asking. "What did he say to you?"
"How did you...? I mean...nothing." Xander dismissed.
There was an awkward silence.
"Made me realise something though." Spike said finally.
Xander breathed a sigh of relief. "He did?"
"Yeah...we're both insane." Spike smirked.
Xander frowned back. "Whatever."
"Don't get arsy with me, mate." Spike warned. "I'm not in the mood."
"Sorry?" Spike asked. "You're apologising to me?"
"I'm not allowed to do that?"
"No! You are...you're just...acting funny." Spike observed.
"Well, so are you!"
"I'm not the one with a hard-on in bed, mate." Spike smirked from his chair.
"Yoda give you that?"
"No..." Xander said quickly. "I dreamt about a hot naked..."
"Vampire?" Spike interrupted.
Xander studied Spike carefully and couldn't quite tell whether he was making a joke or not. "No...actually...someone I love."
Spike quirked an eyebrow. "Love? You mean your demon bint?"
Xander looked away. "No."
Spike paused. Had Xander finally realised? Had Yoda kept his promise? He decided to try it out. "You got a hard-on for me, Pet?"
Okay...Xander hasn't been sure...but know he knew...Spike was definitely coming on to him. "Drop it, Spike."
"Alright...just thought maybe you'd have realised something while you were sleeping, is all." Spike said, softly as he turned the TV off.
"That I love you?" Xander mumbled.
"What did you say?" Spike asked.
"Nothing, never mind." Xander dismissed quickly and grabbed his clothes, ready to make a run for it.
"I heard you, you idiot. But why the hell would you say that?" Spike asked.
"No reason." Xander said, pulling his sneakers on.
Spike groaned and flexed his muscles, leaning forward and snapping part of the rope. "Did you mean it?" He stood up and pulled the remaining rope off him.
"How did you...you could do that all the time and you...?" Xander asked, standing as far away from Spike as he could.
"Yeah, well, you'd stay put too if you had a hot naked human sleeping right in front of ya." Spike grinned.
"That is so...huh? You...you're messing with me." Xander said quickly.
"You messing with me or did ya mean that?" Spike asked seriously.
"I wasn't...I don't know...can we drop the subject?" Xander asked, trying to walk towards the basement steps.
Spike quickly moved in his way. "Say it again."
"What? No!" Xander frowned, moving to the side.
"Say it again." Spike said, even softer this time.
"Spike, let me past." Xander moaned.
"I love you, okay? If only because the little green man says so, I think I do and I don't know why and feel free to stop me and save me from even more embarrassment any time soon." Xander babbled loudly.
Spike cocked his head. "Only wanted the first bit, Pet."
"Don't call me that." Xander hissed.
"You'd rather the man you love called you whelp?" Spike asked, amusedly.
"This is so funny to you, isn't it?" Xander yelled. "And you...you are not a man!"
"'Kay, vampire then. Vampire you love..."
"I do not love you!"
"You just said..."
"I've changed my mind." Xander yelled, pushing past.
"You can't just leave." Spike protested.
"Haven't even shown you my lightsaber yet." Spike smirked.
Xander ignored him and stormed up the stairs.
Just as he went out of view, Spike's face fell. "I love you, too, you know."
There was an agonizing silence where Spike had no idea if Xander was even there.
"You're just saying that to..."
"Little green man made me love ya too, satisfied?" Spike asked, as Xander looked back downstairs.
"You don't...you can't love."
"Can and do." Spike argued. "Now can we shag? I didn't get any from the princess earlier and my bet is, you didn't either."
Xander just stared. "What?"
"Never mind. Just...come back down here, alright? Ain't talking to you all the way up there." Spike complained.
Begrudgingly, Xander walked downstairs and stood awkwardly near Spike. "Well?"
"Better, Pet. All the better for kissing you." He leant forward.
Xander leaned back. "Can you ever say anything normal?"
"It's what ya love about me, ya know." Spike said, quirking his eyebrow. "So are ya gonna let me kiss ya or do I have to send ya to Darth Vader next time. Don't reckon he gives good advice."
Xander hesitated, before smiling. "You're not messing with me?"
"If I was, I'd be laughing at you by now." Spike said, stepping forward and holding Xander's arm so he wouldn't move away again. "Now...this is ya last chance. Back out now and you lose me forever." Spike quickly pressed his lips against Xander's as the boy's mouth opened to speak. No way was he gonna give the coward a chance to back out now.
As the kiss ended, Spike leaned back and looked at Xander, critically. "Well?"
"Do it again." Came the desperate reply.
Spike grinned. "My pleasure."
And a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...the little green man laughed.
"Confused you are, yes?"
"I shouldn't feel this way."
"His enemy you are, as he is yours." Yoda nodded.
"If we...if he felt the same way...which side would we end up on? I can't lose my redemption. He's on *their* side."
"But lose it you would, for him?"
Angel paused. "I don't know...is there a reason I'm talking to you about my love life?"
"Helped others, I have. Help you, I will." Yoda smiled.