Title: Tell you, I will
Author: Angel Jade
Spoilers: Not really...just vague season 4.
Pairings: Spike/Yoda -Don't look at me like that, they don't do anything...just talk...about Xander...so S/X.
Description: Spike has a disturbing dream which answers a few of his questions about Xander.
Setting: Season four during Hush, pre-silence.
Distribution: Ask first please.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of this innocent fic, that privilege belongs to Mr.Whedon and co, who do make money from them, unlike me. *g*
Dedication: To Sarah...because she is the only person I know who has not seen Star Wars!!!!!!!!!
Author's notes: I was drunk at the time...not my fault.
Spike was positive he was dreaming. That or he'd fallen into a portal again. It had taken Dru ages to get him back after last time. But then again, she hadn't been in the best frame of mind to save him. When was she?
Place reminded him of somewhere...a fake looking jungle like place...
"Lost you are, hmmm?"
Spike stood there with a smirk on his face. "Oh, I've had this dream before. 'Cept it was with Princess Leia and..."
"A dream it is, but know you why you have it?" Yoda asked.
Spike just laughed. "Alright, mate. I'll humour you. I'm having it because I managed to drink a whole bottle of JD last night. And that was *after* I was pissed."
Yoda nodded. "Much doubt in you. You drink to hide your feelings, yes? To blame your feelings on."
Spike hesitated, before sitting on a fallen tree trunk opposite the little green man and pulling out his fags. "Don't know what ya mean, mate. Don't feel nothing. 'Cept maybe a wet arse." He shifted across the log to a dryer spot and cocked his head at Yoda. "So...where's princess? Might as well get a decent shag while I'm here."
Yoda nodded gravely. "Hide it, you do."
"Your feelings for the boy." Yoda replied.
"Uh? Well...can't say I'd say no...but I'd really prefer the princess. The twin thing don't do much for me." Spike grinned.
"The boy...he returns your feelings, yes?" Yoda asked, ignoring Spike comments.
"The boy...?" Spike frowned. "You mean Xander? You off your rocker, mate? The whelp's just...the whelp. There's no exchange of feelings...'cept maybe one's of hate."
"You hide your feelings behind your anger. And now behind your drinking. Lose him you will, if you are not careful." Yoda advised.
"Why would I lose him?" Spike asked, slightly paranoid but trying to hide it. "He ain't going anywhere."
"But need him you do. As he needs you." Yoda explained. "Forever you have, but he does not."
"Stop talking like a giant fortune cookie and speak English, you green git." Spike muttered.
"Tell him, you must." Yoda said sternly. "Or face your life alone."
Spike snorted. "I am alone. Always will be. Nothin' wrong with that."
"Miss Drusilla, you do. Miss company." Yoda save gravely.
Spike's smirk seemed to soften a bit. "Miss somethings. Shaggin'...miss that."
"No...why do you lie to yourself when the truth is known to you?"
"What bloody truth?" Spike demanded.
"Warmth." Yoda said simply. "Miss the warmth of company and love."
"Yeah...and?" Spike said dismissively.
"Afraid you will miss the chance to get it back, you are." Yoda pointed out.
"Look mate, you don't know shit about Xander. Whelp's not into vampires and he ain't into men. He especially ain't into me." Spike yelled. "All very well you tellin' me what I want...what does he bloody well want?"
"Ask him." Yoda said, calmly.
"Ask him..." Spike laughed. "No sodding way."
"It is the only way." Yoda told him. "For he will not make the first move."
"I don't need sex advice off an imaginary alien who can't speak proper English." Spike said. "Don't care if you're a bloody psychic...you ain't even real."
Yoda laughed. "Know this, you do?"
"Yeah...I think. Unless I fell into the wacky world of Mr. Lucas." Spike smirked.
"Changed you have, over the years." Yoda observed. "Your Master's influence, yes?"
"Master? Bleedin' hell. Angelus ain't my Master. Weren't ever my Master. Sodding pouf was just me Sire." Spike argued.
"Same thing to your kind, hmmm?" Yoda pointed out.
"Yeah...technically. But he weren't responsible for my change in attitude." Spike said. "Jus' the way things went."
Yoda shook his head. "His padawan you were. Did it for his respect."
"Did what? Change? Nah." Spike shook his head. "Well...wanted him to respect me but that never bloody happened."
"Changed you have, but not for good. There is still good in you, young William." Yoda said to Spike.
Spike laughed. "Yeah, I'm a regular Darth Vader me. And Peaches can be the Emperor...and the slayer can be the Princess...nah, wait...that's not right. Red can be the Princess. And Slutty's boy toy...he can be the wookie..."
Yoda waited for Spike to finish his new game.
"Sorry mate, got carried away. Stuck for who to cast as Luke though. Couldn't make it Xander...cause then I'd wanna shag my own son."
"Strange, you are."
"Yeah...ain't I just?" Spike grinned. "So...we almost finished the session? 'Cause I'm gonna have to wake up soon."
"Realised your feelings, you have." Yoda said.
Spike nodded. "Guess so."
"Afraid to tell him, though."
"'Bout covers it." Spike agreed.
"Show him, you must."
"Show him?" Spike asked. "As in...nah, don't fancy getting staked for molesting the boy. Sodding chip'll be the death of me."
"Return your feelings, he may." Yoda replied.
"Well, he does smell kinda...lusty...but I figured it was just 'cause he's a dirty bastard with a permanent hard on." Spike joked.
Yoda remained emotionless.
Spike cleared his throat. "How about this? I'll get him drunk, get naked and hope for the best, yeah?"
"A plan it is, but work it may not." Yoda said. "The first move must be yours."
"Alright. New plan. You go to him and convince him he likes me." Spike smiled. "That'll work. He'll listen to you...he's a geek for all that sci-fi crap."
"Hard it is. Choose me, the people do, not the other way around." Yoda said softly. "But try, I will. Now time for you to go, it is."
"Hang on. Want to ask a question." Spike demanded.
"Skywalker and the smuggler, they shagged didn't they?" Spike asked.
Yoda waited for a moment before replying. "Your dream it is, answer it you can."
Spike sniggered. "Knew it, I did."
"Spike...wake up!" Xander yelled down Spike's ear.
"Oi! That ain't very nice. Was having a nice dream." Spike complained, waking up.
"Yeah, heard you talking to Yoda in your sleep." Xander commented.
Spike paled. "You heard?"
"Called his name out." Xander grinned. "Weirdo. Last time let you watch Star Wars drunk."
"Last night. Alcohol...we got drunk. You more than me. Watched movies..." Xander gave up. "Better you don't remember it. You say weird things when you're drunk."
"Acting a little spaced today." Xander frowned. "You in a galaxy far, far away or something?"
Spike shook his head. "No...just thinking."
"Well, glad you can think. But I guess you slept through your hangover. Mine tried to kill me this morning. Last time I drink with you." Xander complained.
"You have a weird dream last night?" Spike asked.
"Nope. Don't even remember them." Xander replied. "Now do me a favour and keep quiet while I catch up on my sleep."
Spike grinned. "Yeah mate...you go right ahead. Hope your dreams are as insightful as mine."