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You Killed Kennedy

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Summary: Buffy/South Park crossover. Kenny has decided to take a break from his recurring death and let Kennedy step up to the guillotine. **I've opened this story to anyone who wants to do a little Kennedy bashing. Feel free to add your own stuff.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Cartoons > South ParkrayningstarsFR151499041,08926 Feb 0626 Feb 06Yes
Disclaimer: Kennedy, Cartmen, and all associated with them belong to Joss and whoever wrote Southpark respectively.


You Killed Kennedy


It was an extremely cold night, as can be expected during the middle of the winter in New England. Usually Kennedy sent out one of the younger slayers out in conditions like this, but Willow had guilt tripped her into patrolling this time. So, never being one to refuse Willow, she was out ridding the world of useless fledglings.

To the casual observer, she could have been mistaken for an eskimo. Her large brown boots dragged through the freshly fallen snow, and the hood was drawn up on her heavy brown parka, covering her ears and mouth completely. She would have covered her nose too if it wasn't for that pesky breathing.

She trudged along through the rows of undisturbed graves. No deaths by fatal neck wounds had been reported, but it was always better to be safe than sorry.

Kennedy froze as the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end in response to the witless vampire currently stalking her. Smiling, she continued on as if nothing had happened, luring the vampire away from the small cabin in which the groundskeeper currently resided. When she reached a deserted side road, she turned to the offending vampire and pulled her stake from her pocket.

With a snarl, the vamp launched himself at her, and the fighting commenced. Her moves were somewhat hindered by the bulk of her coat, but that would not be enough to stop the slayer from gaining the upper hand. She rained down a series of heavy blows to his chest, throwing him off balance and giving her the opportunity to go in for the kill. Unfortunately, her boots had other ideas as she tripped over herself and fell to her knees. The vampire found that highly amusing, letting out a whooping laugh that made her see red. Getting up as quickly as possible, she shot him the most threatening glare she could muster, smiling when he fell silent.

His eyes widened and he backed up a few steps. It was more than the reaction she had expected, but Kennedy wasn't one to complain (or rather, not about something like this).

"Oh, so now you're scared," she taunted. "Well, it's safe to say you won't be getting the chance to bite off more than you can chew."

Before she had a chance to kill him deader, he let out a girlish squeak and fled. Kennedy let out a dissapointed sigh and dropped her hands from their fighting stance.

"That has got to be the most pathetic exit I've ever-"

She lost her ability to speak as twelve-foot tractor trailor truck slammed into her from behind. She was catapulted into the air like nothing more than a ragdoll and impaled on a nearby tree branch.

A short, fat, two-dimensional kid paused in the middle of his late-night walk.

"You killed Kennedy," he stated, gesturing wildly at her lifeless form.

Letting out a noncommital noise, he turned and shuffled away.

The End

You have reached the end of "You Killed Kennedy". This story is complete.

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