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Sweet Revenge

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Summary: Xander will get his revenge. Oh, yes, revenge will be his...Kinda

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Marvel Universe > Spider-Man > Xander-CenteredtactlessFR1311,9475204,8488 Mar 068 Mar 06Yes
Disclamer: I own nothing. Not my home, not my car and none of these charicters. I do only have one more payment on a dictionary, however.

Sweet Revenge

The afternoon quiet that had previously existed within the confines of one of Manhattan’s finest hotels was shattered as a surprised brunet was shoved forcefully into the tenth floor hallway from her suite. Furiously, Faith spun on her heal to face a closed door and a poor attempt at evil laughter.

“Bwa-hahahaha. Revenge! At last, sweet revenge is mine!”

“Damn it, Xander. Open this goddamn door!”

“Finally after seven years. Seven long years. My day has come!”

“This isn’t funny, Cyclops. Open the damn door.”

“For seven years I have plotted. I have planned. I have plotted and planned. I have planned and plotted. Once I even pondered. Oh yes, I have pondered, plotted and planned for seven years and finally revenge is mine.”

Hopping up and down on the balls of her feet, Faith pulled at her hair and screamed in frustration. Seeing the unintentional floor show, a startled maid quickly turned her cart and hurried in the other direction. Catching the movement from the corner of her eye, the Slayer tugged the hem of her oversized t-shirt back into place.

*Okay, note to self: If the only thing you wearing is a t-shirt and a lot of hotness, don’t raise your arms…Well, okay…don’t raise your arms in a hotel corridor…Okay, don’t raise your arms in a hotel corridor when your wicked pissed and wanting to kill some idiot who thinks he’s funny. *

“Oh, yes. My brilliant plan. Beautiful in both its directness and its subtlety.”


*Oh, great. He’s got to rub in pushing me out of the room with some long-assed monologue. He probably has the damn thing all written out somewhere. This is probably going to take while. *

An evil grin slowly crossed the dark haired woman’s face.

*Good. I should have time to get a spare key-card from the front desk and be back before he knows I’m gone. And then, they’re going to be finding my soon-to-be ex-watcher for weeks. *

With a final disgusted glare at the locked door to her suite and the gloating young man hidden behind it, Faith stalked off to the elevators.


Two minutes later, his speech having finally wound down, Xander carefully opened the door and stuck his head into the hallway

“Um…Faith? You’re not going to kill me are you? We’re good, right?”

He gingerly stepped into the empty corridor.

“Faith? You’re not mad are you? Come on, it was funny.”

The young man froze as a small click behind him announced the closing of the door. Not bothering to look around, Xander dropped his head in defeat and sighed.

“Fine…let’s see…locked out of my room? Check. Nothing on, but my ‘other white meat’ boxers. With charming hole, I might add? Check. Pissed off Slayer? Check. Still the universe’s butt-monkey? Oh, very much, check. I wonder if the front desk has a spare key-card.”


Faith’s mood brightened considerably when the doors slid opened and she spotted the elevator’s lone occupant. Covered from head to foot in blue and red spandex, the guy’s body language screamed a sense of embarrassment.

Hitting the button for the lobby out of habit, the dark haired beauty sauntered over and stood next to the masked man and stood beside him as close as she could without entering his personal space. The doors slid closed and after a calculated moment of uncomfortable silence Faith glanced over at her fellow passenger with a slight smirk.

“So. Costume party, huh?”

The man jumped as though she had poked him. “Huh…What…Costume? Yeah…Um…I’m going to a costume party.”

“Who ya suppose to be?”


“Hurm, I thought that Spider-man had six arms and ate people.”

The man stiffened self-righteously. “I don’t…I mean…he doesn’t have six arms and eat people.”

“So,” The Slayer smiled seductively at the man as the elevator opened to the fifth floor to reveal a very dignified looking older couple. “Does that mean that you don’t want to eat me?”

When the doors closed a moment later the Slayer still stood alone with the, now sputtering, victim of her sense of humor. After a few seconds, obviously trying to draw attention from his own discomfort, the man asked a question of his own.

“So…Um…Slayer, huh?”

Faith leaned back in surprise. “What? How?”

“Your t-shirt.” The masked man hurried on. “You like Slayer?”

Looking down and quickly regrouping the Boston bad-girl plucked at the shirt Xander had given her on her last birthday as a joke. “T-shirt? Oh, yeah. Great band. Yah know me. I’m a real Slayerett.”

Moving on to her final assault as the elevator neared the ground floor, Faith leaned forward slightly and licked her lips suggestively as she gave her companion a lingering and appreciative once over. Straightening she looked directly into the white, oval eyes of the man’s mask.

“Circumcised, huh? So, how’s that working out for ya?”

The blue and red clad reflexively covered himself and his back straightened in shock as the elevator doors dinged open into the hotel lobby. Faith laughed throatily as she sauntered out, hitting the button for the top floor on her way.


The elevator was taking forever. The dark haired Californian paced in front of the doors sending glances to the slowly changing floor numbers at every pass. Xander flinched at the sound of one of the room-doors opening from down the hall. Turning, he locked glances with a housekeeper as she left a room. After a moment of silence, she squeaked fearfully and retreated back into the room she had exited and slammed the door behind her.

In a motion that he had unintentionally picked up from his surrogate father the young man pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Hark,” He said with a tired voice. “My keenly honed senses tell me that Faith has been this way…” His shoulders slumped slightly. “…And that we will never be aloud in this hotel again.”

“Soon we will have to be confined to the HQ in Cleveland. Not that’s a bad thing. But Giles was getting phone calls from the Motel 6 people for weeks after we blew up that place in Michigan. Faith wanted to stay in Climax, but NO I had to do the stopover in Hell Michigan because it sounded more like home.”

“Not to mention that I can never go back to Egypt again. I didn’t even know that countries still banished people. So what if one of the ancient wonders of the world got a little scorched? Hey, doorway to the land of the dead still closed. And Dawn having the banishment papers framed and hung at the London HQ? So not of the funny.”

The young man’s rant was cut short by the overdue arrival of the elevator. With a ding the doors opened to reveal a spandex clothed man nervously trying to cover himself. A half smirk inched its way across Xander’s face as he stepped aboard and took up position in the farthest corner from his fellow passenger.

“Nice costume. Spider-man, right?”

The blue and red clad man started.

“I don’t eat people!”

*Yep, Faith’s been here. *

“Yeah, right.” Xander drawled. “Forgot to wear a cup, huh?”

The costumed man shrunk farther into his corner.

“I sympathize with ya. Last year for Halloween I put on a Shakespeare outfit and strapped an apple to my head and went as William Tell’s kid. Much embarrassment was had by all.”

The former Californian’s companion relaxed enough to chuckle at the image.

“It kinda bunches up a bit too.” The masked man admitted. “Um…Can I ask you a question?”

“Fire away, Arachni-guy.”

“The other white meat.”

Reflexively, Xander looked down to his boxers, and then covered his embarrassment with a broad grin.

“You know, I just love the pork.” The dark haired youth replied as the elevator doors once again opened onto the fifth floor to reveal the older couple from before, the husband now desperately fanning the woman who had collapsed into his arms.

There was a moment of silence interrupted only by the piped in music and the ding of the doors closing in front of the unmoving older couple while the ex-carpenter thought over what he had just said.

“ I mean that I love the pork in a manly non-creepy-half-naked-guy-in-the-elevator kinda way.” He took a deep breath. “ I’ll just be quiet now.”

A poorly rendered four-string-quartet version of Salt and Peppa song was the only interruption in the oppressive silence for the remainder of the trip until the doors opened onto the lobby and the waiting figure of Faith.

Leaning against the door with a vicious smirk, she let her eyes slowly travel up and down the length of the founding Scooby.

“Locked yourself out didn’t you?”

Xander lowered his eyes in shame and nodded. “Did you get a new key?”

When she waved the new key card at him, he continued. “How much trouble am I in?”

Instead of answering, the dark Slayer gave the other occupant of the lift the same lingering once over. Fixing the masked man with her eyes, her grin transformed from a grin to a full-on predatory smile.

“So, Spider-stud, Did ya change your mind about eating me?”

With a heroic squeak of terror, the red and blue man sprang from the confined area and sprinted to the nearest exit.

The dark haired beauty turned from watching the fleeing form and fixed Xander with a glare that ended any and all conversation until they reached the door to their hotel room. After swiping the card though the reader she turned to the young man and in a move that was to fast for the human eye, grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him down for a deep passionate kiss. They stood frozen so, for a full minute until she pulled back and looked up into his goofy grin and half closed eye.

The corner of her lips twitched upwards as, with a slight flexing of her shoulders, she pushed him across the corridor. By the time that Xander recovered the door to the room had closed behind the retreating shape of the woman.


His eye widened in surprise when the dark Slayer spoke though the door.

“Revenge! At last, sweet revenge is mine!”

“Oh, come on! It was funny.”

“Finally after seven minutes. Seven long minutes. My time has come!”


“For seven minutes I have plotted. I have planned. I have plotted and planned. I have planned and plotted. Once I even pondered. Oh yes, I have pondered, plotted and planned for seven minutes and finally revenge is mine.”

With a thud, Xander rested his head against the door. A moment later the door was jerked open and he found himself standing in defeat before his triumphant room-mate. She let him suffer for a full minute and then, with a dimple flashing smile, the Slayer grabbed the scooby by his waistband and pulled him into the room.

“Get in here, Boy-toy. You’ve got work to do.”

Xander’s trademark grin returned to his face. “Is this the point where I comment on wood and the laying there of?”

“Mr. Harris?”


“Shut up.”

“Yes, Mrs. Harris.”

The door closed.


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The End

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