Expect the Expected
Get a Life
Disclaimer: Buffy belongs to Joss Whedon, Supernatural belongs to Eric Kripke
Spoilers: Post Chosen
Let’s thank queencyane1 for giving me two ideas that went into this chapter!
Should they stay, or should they go…
Expect the Expected
“So let me get this straight,” Buffy rubbed her forehead, “You saw that I was in trouble, which I wasn’t, and broke away from the slayers that were protecting you.”
“Right so far,” Dean nodded, though his neck hurt like hell.
“And so in your attempt to save me, you somehow managed, in the fight for all of humanity no less, to slip on a banana peel?”
“It was a misplaced banana peel,” Dean ground out through his teeth. He tried to sound menacing, but he was currently in a hospital gown, practically strapped to a hospital bed. And of course, he was only strapped down because he refused to get help.
“Yes, a misplaced banana peel that wound up twisting your ankle, which caused you to fall and then a horde of demons trampled you, breaking other parts of your body in the process,” Buffy sighed.
“It was a tough battle.”
“This happened 10 minutes into it!” Buffy shrieked. “I was worried about me dying and there you go slipping on a random peel and then being stepped on numerous times before I managed to get you out of there.”
“Is the baby alright?” Willow asked as Sam pushed her wheelchair into the room. She wasn’t injured because of the demons, but by her own magic. She had used a little too much of it and could barely stand when the fight was close to being over.
Luckily, Sam’s practicing had come in handy when a demon went for Willow. He was able to send a well aimed sword through the demon’s head.
“I don’t know why you keep calling me that,” Dean grumbled.
“Could it have anything to do with the fact that you basically cried like a baby when you slipped?” Sam shrugged.
“It could have been because the demons almost killed me with their hooves for feet!” Dean growled. “You see how long you can last without screaming when they come after you.”
It was surprisingly easy to leave the Council. The slayers were happy for Buffy to have found Dean and practically packed her bags for her. She wanted an easier life and they wanted it for her as well.
Willow on the other hand would have to stay for a while do some minor clean up. She had promised Sam that she would meet up with them when she was finished.
“I’ll just have an order of French fries,” Sam handed the menu back to the waitress. She turned to Dean who ordered a chicken sandwich and his own order of fries. They all turned to Buffy as she was still looking over the menu.
“Can I get a hamburger, fry, onion ring, pie, and a strawberry milkshake?” she asked. After seeing the astonished looks on everyone’s faces, she formed an innocent look on hers. “What?”
The waitress walked away, muttering something about fast metabolisms. Dean turned to his girlfriend, “Are you really going to eat all of that?”
“Would you prefer I order a small salad with a diet coke?” Buffy glared. “That battle really did a number on me and I’m extremely hungry.”
“Fine, but I will be eating some of your food.”
“You can try,” Buffy finished the conversation. She turned to Sam who was looking in the local newspaper for any new findings. “Find anything?”
“Uh, there was a funeral today. A Priest actually, and he was killed in a cemetery, but the police don’t know what really happened. They’re having a wake.”
“Vampire?” Dean asked.
“It has to be more than that,” Buffy reasoned. “A Priest wouldn’t be a cemetery at night without others with him. He was probably doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing.”
“Cult worship, then,” Dean nodded.
“But we don’t know for sure,” Buffy shrugged.
“We could always check the body for any markings, but how do we get inside the house?”
“I think I have an idea,” Dean smirked as the food came. He tried to snatch an onion ring away, only to be punched by Buffy. Dean howled in pain at her strength and watched in awe as she just about sucked the food into her mouth.
“I told you this would end badly,” Buffy sighed.
“I can’t believe I’m wearing this,” Buffy groaned.
Dean’s bright idea had wound being the three of them dressing up for the wake. Dean and Sam were dressed as Priests, and Buffy, well Buffy was dressed as a nun.
“It was the only way,” Sam reminded her. “They won’t turn us away, and this way, we can get closer to the body.”
“But I’m a nun,” Buffy glared at him. “Couldn’t I just go as someone who knew the man instead of wearing this getup?”
“You could have, but the nun look works for you,” Dean pulled Buffy close. “I find it to be incredibly hot.”
“We nuns have forsaken sex,” Buffy freed herself from Dean’s grasp. “Maybe later we can play naught nun and horny Priest?”
As soon as the door opened, Sam pushed himself in, not needing to hear the conversation between his brother and Buffy.
“I’ll hold you to that,” Dean whispered as he quickly got himself into Priest mode.
End Get a Life
It’s been a wild ride…