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Xander AKA The Snake Charmer

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Summary: On that fateful Halloween night, Ethan had an idea for revenge on someone instead of irritating Giles.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Movies > Kill BillEdScottFR1353,58803416,23311 Mar 065 Apr 06No

Chapter One

Title: Xander AKA The Snake Charmer (1/?)
Author: Ed Scott

Disclaimer: All characters belong to their rightful owners... none of
who are me.

Summary: On that fateful Halloween night, Ethan had an idea for revenge on someone instead of irritating Giles.

Pairing: C/X

Rating: PG 13

Ethan Raynes grinned as he saw the three young adults that Giles watches enter his store. He knew who they were when they entered. He knew what he wanted to do to the blonde. But the boy. The boy was going to be his pawn in getting revenge on the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad. He had managed to get away from them alive, but just barely. ‘Let’s see how Billy Boy likes being in the body of a seventeen year old teenager with a plastic Hattori Hanzo sword.’

It’s amazing how much info he got from Willy’s. He found out everything he ever wanted to know about Muffy and her friends. When he saw her looking at an old eighteenth century gown, he had to stop himself from laughing like the maniac he is. “My, look at the hidden princess.”

Ethan saw that the Slayer’s male friend was upset at her choice of costume. Obviously, she was trying to get the attention of her vampire paramour. He saw the rage in the young man, and decided to help him. He silently walked behind the young man. Startling him.

“Afternoon, young man. Can I help you?”

“Yah! Don’t do that. Especially in this town. I’m just looking for a toy gun to complete the set of fatigues I have at home.”

“A soldier? How passé.” Ethan made it look like he was sizing up Xander for just the right costume. He grabbed a case out from behind the register. “Here is what will be perfect for you, young man.” He took a silk shirt, a wooden flute, a plastic sword and a green skull ring out of the case.

“Here you go, sir. This is a copy of an outfit of an old friend of mine. He was a traveler. Helping people that needed help. So, what do you say?”

Xander hesitated. “I’m sorry. I can’t afford it.”

“Don’t worry about it. Just give me what you can and tell everyone where you got your costume and we’ll call it even.” Xander couldn’t agree fast enough.

Later that evening after the spell was cast.

The man known as Bill was confused. Moments ago, he had been involved in a serious anatomy lesson with his best girl, Beatrix. Now, he was walking around a small town where there were devils and monsters running around. Luckily, he had his Hanzo sword with him.

A Villa in Mexico, Same Time

Beatrix Kiddo was enjoying the afterglow of spending time with Bill. Until she heard him screaming. And not in ecstasy. Which confused her, Bill never screamed in anything other than ecstasy. Bill saw where he was and bolted for a bathroom, shutting the door. With raised eyebrows, and no clothes on, Beatrix Kiddo walked over to the bathroom.

“Bill? Are you OK?”

“Who the hell is Bill? My name is Xander Harris. And where the hell am I anyway?”

“Quit kidding around, Bill.” Suddenly the bathroom door was flung open.

“Listen lady. I don’t know who you are or where I am. All I do know is something seriously Hellmouthy is going on.”

“Hellmouthy?”

“Yes. I live on the Hellmouth in Sunnydale, California.”

“Let’s say I believe you. What were you doing before you ended up here?”

“I was taking kids trick or treating. Then I was on top of you naked and ran for the bathroom.” Xander notices he’s still naked. “Uh, could you get me some clothes, and maybe dress yourself as well.”

“Sure, Xander.” Beatrix walks to a closet to get him some clothes. And Xander never notices the sway of her hips as she was walking away.

This happened years before Jerry “The King” Lawler saying, “The only good thing about a woman leaving is watching her walk away.”
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