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This story is No. 2 in the series "Dangerous Muppets". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: When Angel Investigations takes the case of a murdered acting agent, they have no idea what sort of people they're about to meet...

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > Muppets, TheLucindaFR152129,642912130,99912 Mar 069 May 10Yes

NOTE: This chapter is rated FR18

MC15: First Get Rid of the Lawyer - R for gore

Count vonCount was not one to act hastily. He knew where Scooter Dee was being held, and knew that the assistant stage manager and murderer would not be permitted to wander away. Which meant he had time to make sufficient preparations here for Scooter's stay.

"Vun dungeon cell, complete vith vun two manacles, each vith five feet of chain and a three inch thick cuff, to be secured vith a steel bolt. Vun stone slab to be used as sleeping accommodations, vun block of stone for a chair and a table secured to the vall so it can not be removed. A small flock of bats to keep him under obserwation at all times.... vhat am I missing?" The Count paused, looking over the small cell. Located in the lowest level of his holding area, the only places lower were his most secure ritual rooms and the vault where he kept the older spell books and physics journals.

After a few moments of reviewing his plans, he smiled. "Yes, yes, I must cast a few more preserwative spells so that Scooter vill be enjoying my hospitality for a long time."

Some preservative spells and containment wards later, the Count decided that it would be wise to rest for a while before seizing Scooter from Brentwood Hollows. He would have to leave them a small token of thanks for taking care of Scooter while he made his preparations. Something memorable.

Much like he had spoken to Scooter’s attorney before the sunrise. Though he did hope that they would be more polite at Brentwood Hollows. It would help keep things from getting messy.

It was starting to be a bad night. Kate Locksley had been called to an apartment building when someone on the first floor had intended to complain to their building manager about the pipes leaking when they realized that what had just landed on them was not water. After repeated poundings on the door to the second floor apartment directly over the disturbed first floor resident had resulted in nothing more than an aching hand, the manager had called the police, saying that something wasn’t right, and could they come to help him check it out.

It turned out that ‘wasn’t right’ was an understatement.

Kate leaned against the wall, taking very shallow breathes though her mouth, trying not to smell anything, wishing that she could forget what she had seen in that apartment. Both windows in the living room had shattered, leaving shards, chips and dust of broken glass everywhere. The couch had been over turned and slashed, with off white stuffing flecked with blood falling onto the broken glass that covered a carpet so soaked with blood that only by looking at the wall closest to the shattered windows could reveal that it had been a dusty beige. Walls that had once been off white had been splattered with blood, and the blood had been used to write two lines on the cracked wide screen television – “36 poorly chosen words” was the top line, with letters almost an inch high. The second line was smaller, not quite as even, and written at a slight angle – “7,392 pieces of broken glass”. Blood had splattered the walls and ceiling in several arcs, and stained the tan curtains. Even more disturbing, the blood had started to dry, leaving rusty brown flecks over the walls and ceiling, with the carpet looking like a massive bruise. The shattered windows had let in the insects, resulting in a buzzing mass of flies over the body, the carpet, on the walls.

Blood that had to have come from the body in the middle of the floor. A body so mangled and dismembered that she had no idea if it had been a man or a woman, but left her thanking whatever passed for God that it was most likely not a child. The whole room stank of old blood, raw meat left sitting out, an acidic stench of internal fluids, and ruptured bowels. All in all, it was one of the most awful crime scenes that Kate could recall seeing.

“Did you find the building manager? Who is supposed to live in apartment 23?” Kate looked at the other officer, her mind refusing to give his name – Jack or Jacob or Jackson… he’d just transferred in from San Diego a few months back.

“The apartment lease is signed to Colin Finnegan, and he’s an attorney. Are we sure that he’s not responsible?” Jack replied, his eyes full of questions.

Kate shook her head, “We aren’t sure of much right now. We are very certain that this is a crime scene, and that someone committed murder.”

“Do you think Finnegan did it?” He had a small frown, and mused, “If he’s an attorney, what sort of things does he do? Wills, contracts, court cases?”

Waving him to the door, Kate gave him a look, “That’s the next thing to find out. It could be very important.”

Her hand still in the rubber crime scene glove, Kate opened the door, gesturing for him to look inside. “For all we know, that could be Finnegan in there, in which case he definitely didn’t do it. If that’s not Finnegan, someone may have been sending him a message.”

Jack turned an odd tannish green, his eyes widening as he jumped back, swearing in English and a few words of Spanish, and what Kate thought might be Russian. “Who the hell would do that? How the fuck did they get out, how did nobody manage to hear something… carved up like fucking hamburger…”

“Good questions. We don’t know the answers to any of them.” Kate shuddered, certain that this one would leave nightmares. “At least the crime lab should be able to get some blood samples to try and run some identification. I couldn’t tell if fingerprints or dental would still be an option.”

“Shouldn’t… shouldn’t the killer have left footprints?” His voice was low, as if he didn’t want any rumors to get started.

“You’d expect so,” Kate agreed, a part of her mind wondering what sort of horrible demonic thing could do that, and trying to remember if there had been anything resembling footprints amidst all that blood and broken glass. “We can definitely rule out accidental or natural causes.”

Reluctantly, Kate turned her attention back to the crime scene. From behind the couch, a cell phone began to ring.

* * * * * * * * *
At the offices of Wolfram and Hart, Nieva Sonders sighed as she hung up the telephone. She’d been trying to contact Colin Finnegan all day, to ask a few questions regarding his representation of Scooter Dee at Mr. Dee’s trial for the murder of acting agent Kent Lanomer. One of the department managers had mentioned wanting to offer the young attorney an interview, requesting that she make the appointment. Her friend Marissa in legal records had mentioned that one of the lawyers had asked her to gather information on Colin Finnegan as well.

All that attention from powerful people. Life must be looking up for Colin Finnegan…

End Muppet Contracts 15: First Get Rid of the Lawyer.
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