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The Consequence of Perplexity

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Summary: Cordelia gets saved by a different type of Xander. Gender-bending. SLASH Xan/wes, Xan/Spike.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
BtVS/AtS Non-Crossover > Romance > Wesley/XanderLLNFR182325,793139076,34017 Mar 0629 Apr 08No

So He Appears...

Auhors Note: Hi all! So, if there is anyone out there who would like to write about Xander first few months as a girl and dealing with her odd Primalgoddess powers or Miller's obession you are more than weclome too! All I ask is that you treat girl-Xan well. Oh, and let me know you are going to write it cause I would love to read it. I would write it but i have this story and Beginning Of the End taking up all my time.


Xander stood at the ATM machine. It was that time of month. Yes, rent time. And Lord, help her if she didn't give Cordelia the money for it on time. She typed in the number and frowned when it was unaccepted. So, she typed it in again and then again.

"Damn it! I know it's the right number." Xander snarled to herself.

"Actually, it's not," a voice said from behind her, it was a voice she knew and so wished she didn't, turning she saw a man with a soldier's build.

"You!" Xander hissed out in surprise.

He had short dark hair, worn just a little longer than Angel wore his, cold crystal blue eyes. He was wearing a tight dark green, long sleeved shirt, blue jeans and black combat boots completed the look, "I had it changed." Graham Miller said with a soft smile.


Cordelia ran towards the bank, Wesley was right be hind her. The vision of Xander killing a man that she had been shone was a scary thing. Not that she didn't doubt Xander could do it, but there had better be a *very* good reason for it.

They could see the crowd that had gathered. Xander was fighting with the man from the vision it was just verbal until the guy reached out and tried to grab Xander. Cordelia saw Xander's eyes go to the demonic glowing green that never failed to send shivers down her back.

"Don't you even think about touching me!" Xander almost screamed at the man.

"Let's go somewhere and talk." The man said in a soothing tone of voice.

Xander gave the guy a disbelieving look, "Like I'd go anyway with you, Miller!"

Cordelia watched what she would normally call a handsome face, cloud with a dark expression and saw the ugly snarl appear. He actually grabbed Xander's arm this time and jerked her to him. "You're coming with me wherether you like it or not!"

Xander grinned darkly at Miller, "Not," Xander hissed, then swung her other arm hitting him in the face knocking him away from her. Xander started towards him and Cordelia could see the Miller guy's death in Xander's expression.

"Xander!" Cordelia screamed out, and began to wave wildly at her. She and Wesley pushed threw the crowd until they reached Xander.

"Ugg, Monday crowds? Didn't think I'd make it in time." Cordelia said but noticed that Xander never once took her eyes off of Miller. "Did you get the rent money?"

Xander blinked, "Uhh, no, there was a problem with a ATM."

Miller seemed unhappy with this turn of events and glared at Xander. Which seemed to darken when Wesley put and arm around Xander's shoulder and turned her away from him and the crowd. It was only now he noticed how big the crowd was and slowly he backed away slipping into it but not before leaving a parting shot of, "They can't protect you forever, Xan-girl," the mocking tone, Cordelia thought border on that of Angelus when he was stalking the Slayer.

'Oh.' Cordelia thought with a blink as certain things that had happen in the last few months began to make sense. Xander appearing out of nowhere, her nightmares, calls they had received, packages that Xander would destroy on seeing...Yes, it all made sense now.

"Cordelia," Wesley said, "Let's get Xander back to the office."

Cordelia stared at where Miller had disappeared in the crowd for a moment then nodded and followed after the other two. She was going to tell Angel about this. No one hurt her Xander.


Angel walked into office where music was playing loudly. Very loudly, it had a dark gothic beat, and was that a ...cello?

He saw Xander lying on the sofa with her eyes closed. He knew she wasn't asleep.

"Xander, what is that?"

"Darling Violetta, which you would know if you had come to the club with me, Wes, and Cordelia last week." Xander said opening her eyes and seeing the uncomfortable look on Angel's face she shook her head ssaying, "Don't."

"I have to Xander. Who is Miller?"

Xander sat up, and turned off the CD player that the music had been coming from. "He was a...look I can handle Miller. You don't have to worry about me." She got up off the sofa and started toward the door.

"Is he the reason you left SunnyDale?" Angel asked suddenly.

Xander froze then said softly, "He was one of them," then continued out the door.


Xander walked up the walk away to her and Cordelia's apartment. She stopped half way there. She could see that Cordelia was already home. She was pacing in front of the window while talking on the phone. Xander watched her for a moment before turning and going back the way she came.


"I'm worried about her, Angel!" Cordelia said into the phone.

"Yeah, I know Xander can take care of herself. When dealing with demons and things but this guy is human. And that vision of mine...."

Cordelia paused and listened.

"So, she should have been here already!"

"I don't care if she is an actual Goddess! We need to find her!!!"

Cordelia stopped again and sat down heavily on the sofa. She turned and looked out the window. Rain began to splatter on the glass. "I don't know? Where do you think she could have gone?"


Wesley muttered to himself as he opened the door. His eyes widened at the sight of, "Xander!"

Xander stood in his doorway. Her dark hair dripping wet, hanging in hanks down her back. Her white shirt was soaked through as well as the jeans she was wearing. She was also shivering, and looked quite cold. "I come in?" She asked him.

Wesley nodded and stood to the side in silent invitation. Xander walked in to his apartment. Wesley closed the door behind her. Never noticing the black-clad form standing down the hall.


Graham Miller snarled wordlessly. That bitch! Did she really think she could do this to him? Why was she making him do theses things? It wasn't as if he couldn't have anyone he wanted. Why was she being so stubborn and not falling in line like all the rest had? And she was with him! Did she really think he would put up...His cell phone rang interrupting his thoughts.

"Miller." He said in to the cell phone.

"Hey, Ri. No, things are going good."

"Yeah, the parents are great."

"No, no, I'm fine. Thanks for not telling the gang I left. I should be back a couple days."

"Okay, great. Bye."

Graham hung up the phone. Yeah, he would be going back to SunnyDale and Xander Harris would be going with him.


Angel sat with the phone to his ear listening to Cordelia.

"It's not about Xander, Cordelia. It's about rage. This guy is so messed up he can't deal with a real girl..."

Pause, "Xander is in a girl's body...but as I was saying. He can't deal with a real girl so he creates some fantasy about one he barely knows. And then she doesn't fall in line with the fantasy. So he has to hurt her, because when he looks at her all he sees is how useless he is, how damaged..."

"...I just know how he thinks, Cordelia!"

Angel heard Cordelia's gasp and hear the phone hit the ground then there was silence.

And more silence.





Xander sat on the sofa drying her hair with a towel.

"Here, you are." Wesley said handing Xander a cup and then sitting next to her. She put the towel aside and took the cup from him.

"Thanks," She said as she took a sip, "Mmmm, wow! I think this is the best hot chocolate I've ever had. Although I was excepting tea."

Wesley snorted, "In all the time I've known you I've never seen you drink tea. But I remembered you do like chocolate in all forms."

Xander just grinned at that.

"Why are you here, Xander?"

Xander blinked at the sudden question.

"Not that I mind your company..."

Xander sighed and put the cup on the coffee table in front of them, "I just didn't feel safe at home. Miller always puts my teeth on edge, you know?"

Wesley looked a the girl he had come to think of as a good friend, "Why?" He asked then clarified, "I mean why are you here, at my apartment. I would have thought that you would have gone to Angel."

Xander shook her head, "Not Angel. Never Angel." She whispered.

Wesley frowned, "Why not?"

Xander shrugged, "Because while Angel and I are getting along better...I don't...I feel...I don't feel safe with him." Xander looked down in her lap while she said this, her hair falling to the side covering her face. Hiding the slight blush from Wesley's view.


Xander was quiet for a moment then, "After I was turned in to a girl by Anya..."she frowned, "I told you about that right?" Wesley nodded. Xander had told him one night with they were having drinks at the club.

"Oh, okay, I was living with Giles...cause living with my parents after my sex-change? Was so not happening. I decided I wasn't going to freeload so I took a job bartending at one of the bars near UC SunnyDale. Things went well for a while. I was getting use to the whole T & A package. Willow and Buffy were helping with that. Miller was a regular at the bar. He asked me out. I said no. A few nights later he was there and asked again. I said no. This went on for weeks then somehow he found out where I lived, and got Giles number and he began following me everywhere..." Xander trailed off her voice shaking.

"I tried telling the girls and they didn't think it was that bad. Miller is a friend of the guy Buffy was crushing on...I put up with this for a few more weeks. Then one night, Miller some how got in the bar after I closed..." Xander stopped, Wesley could hear the fear in her voice, "I was alone...h-he cor-cor-cornered..."

"You don't have to..."Wesley started but Xander shook her head and took a deep breath and continued, "He cornered me in the stock room, it was in the back of the bar...He had me up again the wall before I knew it. He had his hands all over m-m-me. H-h-his mo-mo-outh on mine and my ne-ck. He star-r-rted t-t-te-ea-ear-ing at m-m-m-y cl-cl-clo-ths." Xander stopped and covered her face with her hands, and rocked back and forth.

Wesley put his arms around the distraught girl carefully; when she didn't push him away he pulled her more fully into his arms. All sorts of things play though his head. Xander took the comfort Wesley offered feeling safe for the first time in so long.

"It was so surprising and so sudden I forgot I knew about defending was like my mind went blank. I remember being so shocked..."

"Xander," Wesley whispered in a voice so soft she almost didn't hear him, "did he..."

Xander pulled away and looked a t him. She knew the question he wanted to ask but was afraid too. She shook her head, "No. It seems that when I didn't met Oz outside the bar for my ride home he came looking. I think...No; I know Oz would have killed Miller that night for what he tried to do to me. In the end though, well, let's just say, you never want to make Oz that mad. It was weeks before they let Miller out of the hospital."


Miller stood outside the apartment door with the loaded rifle in his hand.


Cordelia sat up; she could hear Angel screaming at her from the phone, the vision had been shocking and disturbing to say the least. She reached over and picked up the phone.

"Angel come and get me! We had to get to Wesley's apartment like now!"


"Alright, calm down I'll be there in a few minutes." Angel said then hung up the phone.


Wesley's apartment door burst open....

The End?

You have reached the end of "The Consequence of Perplexity" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 29 Apr 08.

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