Disclaimer: I own nothing and just watch the shows for fun. If I owned the rights to anything you see here I would have more than two dollars in savings.
Rating: Teen. I assure you I will write nothing worse than what was shown in the TV series.
Summery: Xander gets sent to another small town suspected of having a Hellmouth, and gets far more than he thought possible.
Xander was pissed, and worse he didn't have anyone to take it out on. It had been only five months after Sunnydale had become the world's largest sink hole, and here he was driving to nowhere, USA to see if a new Hellmouth was being formed.
"One year, just one year to recover, that's all I wanted," growled Xander as he passed a sign welcoming him to the town.
After five minutes Xander could tell that the town lived up to it's name and then some. The place was surprisingly small, despite being only two hours away from a large city like Metropolis.
"Okay I'm getting way too upset, I need some sugar and caffeine," said Xander.
He had seen a total of two coffee places during his drive. The first looked like some Starbucks knockoff, but the other place looked interesting. Yeah, interesting, that was the complete basis of his decision. His choice had nothing to do with the fact that the Talon was closer and he could just feel his caffeine deprived blood planning open rebellion against his brain, nothing at all.
"I'll take your most caffeinated drink and your most sugar filled pastry," said Xander the second he got to the counter.
"Coming right up," said the brunette waitress as she tried to contain her laughter. "If you take a seat I'll get your order to you in just a few minutes."
Bah, let her laugh, after staying up all night because the couple in the next room had been on their honeymoon he didn't care how he acted as long as he got his fix.
Looking around the room Xander was disappointed to find that there was only one seat available, and a young blond girl was already at the table.
"Is it okay if I sit here?" asked Xander.
"Oh, no problem," said the girl. "I can't study at the library, so if you don't mind the mess, help yourself."
"Yeah, I avoided the library as much as I could in high school too," said Xander as he sat down and waited for his order to arrive. Of course his high school library was directly over the mouth of hell and every memory he associated with it was related to death and the end of the world so he had a good reason. Hmm, that reminded him; he needed to check out the school library.
"I don't avoid it, it's just that I can't learn anything without a certain comfortable amount of noise."
"Ah yes, because police reports take so much concentration," said Xander as he pointed to the image on her laptop.
"Social Studies report," said the girl as she quickly closed down the window.
"Whatever, name's Xander by the way," said Xander.
"Chloe," said the girl. "And now that we know each other so well I think I should tell you that it looks like you could use about five days of sleep."
"Just one night would work," said Xander. "So either an empty motel or one with thick walls should do the trick."
"Well that takes care of how you look, now lets try for why you're here," said Chloe with a look in her eyes that would have usually set off every alarm Xander had in his head.
"Land hunting," said Xander as he ran his hand over his stubble. Man he really had been in a rush to leave this morning. "My employers are thinking of building a private school here, so they sent me to scout things out."
"Why did they pick this town?" asked Chloe.
"Close enough to Metropolis for all the comforts, but far enough away to avoid the distractions. Plus this is a farming community, that means the developers can usually pick up some land at a good price by just offering to pay off it's debt," said Xander as his mind tried to dredge up a good cover story.
"Sorry to tell you this, but you're wasting your time," said Chloe. "Luthor Corp has already bought up all the land that's for sale, everyone else either isn't in trouble or isn't selling."
"Well that complicates things," said Xander. "I'll have to talk to Luthor Corp as well as the farmers about the land then. More work, joy."
"Ah the chains of adulthood, however will you survive," said Chloe.
"Not bad, not bad. Try a little less sarcasm next time and you'll have the sleep deprived person scratching their head wondering if you were being serious or not," said Xander as he tried to hold back a yawn. Where the heck was his order?
"Hey, I'll have you know that I'm not sarcastic, I'm just jaded," said Chloe.
"You don't get to be jaded until you have an obituary in your school paper," said Xander.
"I'll see your obituary and raise you a Wall of Weird," said Chloe.
"Say what now?" asked Xander as the waitress finally brought him his brain food.
"Sorry it took so long, it's really busy today, and one of our employees was late coming in," said the cute brunette that took his order.
"Don't worry Lana, I kept him company. Besides he's so exhausted you could have taken a year and he wouldn't have been able to walk out," said Chloe with a smile.
"Coffee now, witty comeback later," said Xander right before he took a long sip of the life giving liquid. Hey he was a demon hunter from California; caffeine addiction naturally came from finding ways to stay up all night so the world didn't end.
"Just don't scare the tourists too badly Chloe," said Lana as she went back to deliver more drinks.
"I don't know, I think I'm in the mood for a good scare," said Xander as he took a bite of something that was nothing less than pure sugary goodness. "So Chloe, tell me about this Wall of Weird."