It was all too easy for Harley to escape the Batmobile. Honestly, if someone had one fake hand…why wouldn’t they have two? Batman had tightened up his security inside the car—there was no way into the glove compartment this time—so the Bat had learned something. She had left the car behind and followed the route she had seen Batman and the blonde woman take. In no time, she was face to face with Arkham Asylum…which looked rather empty.
There were no guards outside, which meant to Harley that Batsy and Blondie had gotten inside. And with those two drawing the attention, it would be a piece of cake to sneak into Arkham and release her Puddin’.
She used the same laundry entrance and followed the halls, staying as far away from any sounds that sounded like fighting. Then, she heard him.
“Just untie me already!” Her Puddin’ sounded angry and tired.
Harley pressed her back firmly against the wall and slid until she could peek into the open door on her right. Inside, tied spread eagle with his shirt pulled up was Joker. Standing in directly at the foot of the gurney with her back to the door was Baby Doll.
“No way. I’m not letting you go,” she said, crossing her arms.
Harley stepped fully into the doorway, pressing her finger to her lips to tell her Puddin’ to stay quiet. A look in the Joker’s eye told her he had saw her. He kept the conversation with Baby Doll going. But now there was an edge to his voice…like he was fighting laughter.
“Oh, come on. I’m not going to hurt you,” he said.
Harley picked up an empty bedpan. She lifted it above her head.
“But I might!” she declared, bringing it across the back of Doll’s head.
Doll groaned and collapsed to the floor. Harley dropped the pan and rushed to Joker’s side.
“Puddin’, I tried to get back as fast as I could!” she said, beginning to tug at Joker’s bindings.
She gasped. Across the Joker’s stomach had been cut the image of a hopscotch board. His forearms and some of his face had cuts on them too. Deep cuts, but not deep enough to scar.
“Oh, Puddin’! What happened?” she asked, freeing his left arm.
“Hopscotch won,” Joker said weakly, not evening bothering to try and help Harley release himself.
Harley got the last binding free, and helped him to his feet. He leaned heavily on her, muttering something about losing a lot of blood. Harley looked sympathetically at him.
“We’ll rob a drugstore and get the things we need to clean you up. Let’s get out of here,” she said, leading him out of the infirmary.
The Dark Knight and the Slayer dashed up staircase after staircase, staking vampire after vampire. The hem of Drusilla’s dress was the only thing that made them sure that they were on the right trail. Finally, they heard the scraping of a metal door from a staircase above them.
“The roof!” Batman said.
As soon as the two topped the final staircase, they rushed through the large, metal door in front of them. Once on the roof, they stopped, looking around.
“Where is she?” Batman asked.
“Keep your eyes open!” Buffy said, whirling all around.
“Get down!” Batman yelled suddenly, grabbing Buffy and throwing her down.
A large fireball exploded above them. The two rolled and got back to their feet. Another fireball came at them, and Buffy ducked to avoid it. Looking up, she saw the source of the fiery spheres.
Drusilla was standing next to a large, crimson red fire demon with horns that curled and stretched at least four feet into the air. Buffy thought it reminded her of Darkness from that movie Legend that Xander had made her watch once.
Batman shot a glance a Buffy, seeming to ask her what to do. In response, Buffy grabbed her stake and hurled it at Drusilla. The deranged vampire screeched and tried to avoid it, catching it in the arm instead of the intended heart.
“Let’s leave!” she said, linking arms with the demon. “They’re no fun anymore!”
The fire demon changed his attack direction, firing now at the ground. When the smoke cleared from in front of them, they had vanished.
“That did not just happen!” Buffy yelled.
Batman and Buffy approached the spot they had been, which was now covered in scorch marks. Batman shook his head.
“Gone,” he said.
At that precise moment, the door to the roof burst open, and an army’s worth of vampires moved to rush in. Buffy and Batman moved into the stances for fighting. However, as the first few trickled in, there was a large popping noise and all of them vanished. Appearing behind them, coming up the stairs, were Giles, Willow, and the sounds of police sirens. Buffy narrowed her eyes.
“Will? What are you doing here?” she asked. Then, remembering Batman, she added, “Willow, Batman. Batman, my witchy friend Willow.”
“Giles called me in for some tracking help. When I got here, we heard over the police scanner in the cave that there was a disturbance at Arkham, which was the last place Giles said that you had been at. So, here I am,” she said.
“And the vampires?” Batman asked.
“Poofy to a nice sunny desert somewhere,” said Willow.
“Job well done,” Giles said, nodding.
Buffy shook her head. Turning to Batman, she said, “Well, thanks.”
He arched a brow. “For what?”
“Helping me in my…well, job.”
“But I called you here,” he said.
“Yeah, but you could have just let me handle it. So, thanks for the help. Wish there was some way I could help you.”
No sooner had the words left her mouth, Commissioner Gordon entered, gun drawn and body tense. He relaxed when he saw Batman amongst the group on the roof.
“We found the inmates locked in the theater,” Gordon said, putting away his gun. After all, if Batman was just standing around, there had to be no more trouble. “The only two not accounted for are Harley and the Joker. We found Dahl unconcious on the floor in an infirmary room.”
Batman sighed. “Typical night in Gotham.”
“Puttin’ money on the fact that Harley got out and let Joker out?” Buffy asked.
Batman nodded once. Then, Buffy smiled.
“I think I may be able to help you after all.”…………………
Another doctor’s car stolen and hotwired, Harley and Joker drove down the fashion strip in Gotham. Joker was busy treating his own wounds—they had also knocked over a drugstrore—while Harley was scouting for a new hideout.
Both were fully in costume, except that the Joker still had his shirt undone.
“How about that place?” Harley asked, pointing to an empty fashion outlet store.
Suddenly, the car made a rough jerk. Joker snarled.
“Careful, Harl. This stuff hurts,” he said.
Harley stuck her head out the window. When she pulled it back in, she looked rather worried.
“Uh, Puddin’? We’ve got a problem,” she said.
“What?” he asked, just as the doors to the passenger side and the driver’s side of the car flew open.
The car, Joker now noticed, was floating in midair. It tilted first right then left, knocking both Joker and Harley—who were not wearing seatbelts—out onto the street. Once on pavement, they watched the car float to a resting-place behind them, hit the ground, doors shut and lock. They stood.
“You’re not escaping this time, Clown,” Batman growled.
Joker and Harley turned to see Batman, the blonde woman, another older man, and a red haired woman whose eyes were glowing. Harley shook her head.
“I think this is one of those ‘better luck next time’ things,” she muttered.
Buffy laughed. Turning to Batman, she said, “Well, that’s my payback. Call me anytime Gotham gets infested with vamps again. I’ll come running.”
“I’ll do that,” Batman said, as Willow conjured ropes and bound Harley and Joker.
Buffy nodded and turned to Giles and Willow. “Let’s go pack.”