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Things Dawn's Not Allowed to do at Hogwarts...

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Summary: Oops, I did it again! A series of random insanity drabbles...

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Harry Potter > Dawn-Centered(Moderator)JoeHundredaireFR1593,7751512955,72619 May 0623 Feb 07Yes
CoA Winner

House Elves' Local 77

Title: House Elves' Local 77
Author: JoeHundredaire (
Rating: PG/FR13.
Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling is the owner of the Potterverse, and all the related little spawn running around Hogwarts (and Hogwarts itself). Someone not me (but probably Joss Whedon) owns the Buffyverse and all related characters. Let's just go with 'not mine' and leave it as that.
Summary: Hermione's new American friend helps her put a new twist on SPEW...
Joe's Note: Oh God, I gotta lay off the mushrooms. And several other illicit narcotics. I have no idea where this came from.

     Ron Weasley looked from the empty table to the tableau unfolding at the front of the school. "What the bloody hell?" he exclaimed.

     Next to him, Harry Potter continued to bang his head against the wooden table with dull thumps. "I knew we should have separated them when the new girl started talking about labor unions..."

     Between the head table and the four house tables, a stream of house elves paraded back and forth across the hall. Each one was holding a sign that seemed impossibly large compared to them, and indeed some of the elves had taken to using magic to float the signs over their heads instead of carrying them. "WE DESERVE DIGNITY!", "SERVANTS NOT SLAVES!", and other mottos were printed in bright block letters on the signs. Although one phrase appeared on nearly half the signs.


     And up at the front of the hall, leading the house elves, were Hermione Granger and the new American transfer student, Dawn Summers.

     Dawn tapped her wand against her throat, and then her voice filled the hall. "What do we want?!"

     "DIGNITY!" The ragged cry came from the house elves as they shook their signs.

     "And when do we want it?" Hermione and the new girl should not be allowed to collaborate. There was no limit to how often that should be repeated. It just lead to bad things.


     Harry just continued to thump his head on the table.
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