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Summary: Xander’s friends are being overprotective again and are pushing him aside. Instead of pushing back Xander leaves and meets someone new. Who is John Grimm? Slash

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Games > Horror > Doom / QuakeMerKatFR181624,3311818571,24027 May 0627 Jan 07No

NOTE: This chapter is rated FR13

Eeeevilll things


Title: Eeeevilll things

Summary: Xander’s friends are being overprotective again and are pushing him aside. Instead of pushing back Xander leaves and meets someone new.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to their rightful owners... No money was involved. Characters belong to the people who created the shows/movies I’m writing about. Own nada thing!!!!


Tossing a focusing crystal in the air Dawn sighed. Her and Tara were staying in a cheep hotel. Since it was still dangerous she wasn’t aloud to help search for Xander. She had to stay in the hotel room like a good girl. *sigh* She tossed the crystal in the air again.

Tara smiled at the bored girl. “D-Dawn? Do y-you want to order some p-izza? The o-others might be a while.”

Dawn sighed. “Sure. It’s not like I could do anything here anyway. It just so unfair and evil! Why can’t I go anywhere?!”

Tara just smiled kindly

Thirty minutes and a big tip later they were enjoying a piping hot pepperoni pizza when Buffy and the other burst in. Buffy and Willow were snipping at each other, both saying this or that about Xander’s survival instincts. Giles was wiping his glasses and cursing in a demon language Dawn didn’t know. Spike was humming as he hefted a case of beer into the room and sat down on one of the beds. He looked bemused as he watched the others. Dawn taking the safest rout went to Spike so she could ask him questions. It was funny that right now the safest and best bet for clear answers was a blood sucking murderous vampire.

“Spike? What’s the what?” Whispered Dawn.

Spike smirked as he pointed at Red and the slayer. “ The bartender was a half Milsure demon so he could smell who is what. He said a boy of Xander’s description was carried out of the bar by something not human. He didn’t know what the guy was or where they were going. So Buffy decided to bust into a type of demon party that was happening in the demon district. Turned out it was a wedding. The bride cursed them! It was funny as hell! You should have been there nibblet!! And Vida! The bride gives the best curses!!”

“Really? What was the curse? Will Buffy be ok?” She asked wide eyed.

Spike snorted. “Sure pet she’ll be fine! Transmu`focastion spells are temporary! If you ask me this spells a good thing!! It may teach the slayer a thing or two.”

“Why didn’t this demon curse you?”

“Oie! Know Vida, I do! Damn good poker player she is! I can’t wait till they go out into the moonlight again! Red turned into a walking mushroom demon, the watcher into a chair! A chair! He was a walking lazyboy all the way here!! And the slayer turned into a dog! A cute miniature poodle, shaved butt and all! Funny as hell, pet!!”

“Oh. Well that’s nice I guess, as long as its not permanent.” Dawn said as she took a bite of her gooey pizza. “So did you guy’s find anything on Xander?”

Spike snorted. “Whole loads. But your Buffness, and I know everything witchy girl, won’t listen to me.(Glares at the slayer and red witch, who are currently tacking down the curtains so no moonlight could get in.) I’m only a two hundred and something old Master Vampire here, what do I know.” Popping open a beer Spike took a big swallow. Dawn looked at Spike with a raised brow and gestured at him for more info.

Spike rolled his eyes. “Red, her girl, and the slayer are going to go out at sunrise. They’re going to follow their little spell.” Then Spike smirked. “They’re going to be walking a hell of a long way to get to Nevada.” He mumbled.

“Maybe I could get them to listen to me?” Dawn said with a chipper voice.

“Doubt it. But you could try. I’ve booked a demon flight for us all. Leaves at noon.” Spike looked at Buffy and Willow who were arguing with Giles and Tara. “Though I think they’re all more worried about the Transmu`focastion spell. Don’t know why? It will only last for a week tops.” Said Spike as he pulled the window nearest him open.

The moonlight landed on Buffy’s shoulder, within a second and a sparkly light show later, Buffy was a moving talking blond puppet. She was two feet tall, and kind of reminded Dawn of the moppets, but mostly Miss Piggy because how pink her skin was. Dawn bit her lip to keep herself from giggling. When Buffy finally noticed she changed again she jumped out of the moonlight with a shriek!

Spike smirked. “Told ya, Vida she’s a smart one. Has major mojo, she does. You might even meet her someday. She invited me ta her Bir`con Tar`pith.”

“What the god damn bloody hell is that?” Asked Dawn.

“Dawn watch your language!!” Yelled Buffy from the other side of the room, far away from the moonlight and the windows.

“Yeah. Yeah.” Said Dawn as she rolled her eyes. “So what’s a burcon tar pot?”

“Bir`con Tar`pith. It’s Voosh`tar, means ‘the laying’. It’s kinda like a baby shower only with more blood and booze.” Said Spike as he finished his beer.


Reaper ambled out of the vault camber, Xander right behind him. Sam looked her brother over and noticed he was much more relaxed, hell he was almost smiling! And Xander was most definitely grinning like the cat that got the cream. More then that in fact. Like the cat that got a cream making factory! Xander bounced over to Stef and the twins. “So who’s winning?”

Both twins glared.

“Stef!” They both pointed at the smiling boy who was munching on a power bar. A chocolate flavored one.

“Hey! Where’d you get Chocolate?” Asked Xander.

Stef shrugged. “Here. There. Up. Down. All around. Picked the boxes and snatched it up. Rip, rip.”

Looking around Xander found a box half-ripped open, inside was a variety of chocolate. Attacking it like a starved animal Xander opened a couple of what looked like to be chocolate bonbons. “Mmm.”

“Careful. Don’t eat too many.”Said the blue haired twin.

The twin with the earing spoke up. “Mars made cocoa. Supposed to be all healthy and shit, but you eat too many and it will kick you in the gut. Pain and the shits! Mars’ famous--”

“–Scientist made chocolate. Can incapacitate an army. Don’t eat more then four bars or you’ll--”

“–Regret it.” Smiled both twins.

After one last bite Xander put down the tasty chocolate. It didn’t taste any different from any cocoa product he ever had but he took the twins words to heart. Plus the warning label. Xander glared at the chocolate. Even the food was evil on Mars. Eeeevillll.

Reaper smirked at Xander’s disgruntle look. “Come on let’s get back to the infirmary, then get the hell out of here.”

They all got up to go but Xander was looking at the chocolate with a wondering frown. “How much of this stuff did you say you needed to eat to get sick?”

The twins frowned. “Maybe six? But there is a concentrated batch for flushing out the system!” Bradley shuddered.

“They work so good you need a doctor to administer it. Saw a soldier eat some like candy . . . He was on the shitter for hours. Sounded like he was dying . . .” Both twins shuddered together, but Bailey got up and dug out a blue bag full of chocolate bits from the first aid kit. “Nasty chocolate tasting stuff this!”

Xander smiled. “Cool.”

Reaper raised a brow at Xander. “What are you thinking?”

Ark chamber

Tapping the codes into the computer Reaper watched the screen as it blipped on.

“H-hello?” Said a young tech.

“Let me speak to Polk.” Reaper growled.

The tech squeaked and ran off.

Sam rolled her eyes heaven ward then looked at her brother. “I guess I got all the manners when we were in the womb.”

John snorted. “Then I guess I got the good looks.”

“In your dreams!” Sam hit him in the arm even as she smiled. It nice to know Reaper didn’t lose all of his sense of humor.

Earth, the hotel

Spike rolled his eyes and tried to ignore Buffy’s grumbling. She was mad about the spell on her, the fact that Spike couldn’t search for Xander in the sunlight, and the fact that she had to go out searching tonight in the moonlight. “This is all Xander’s fault!! Why did he have to come to L.A. in the first place?!!! We have better things to worry about! Why are all these evil things happening!!! And Dawn shouldn’t be going outside! Why did Tara take her to the movies?! I don’t want to go outside with--”

Spike sighed. How did he get stuck in the hotel with the slayer? Where did the watcher and the red witch go? Groaning at the headache he was getting Spike turned the tv up. Hopefully Passions would drown out the slayer.

The Ark room on Earth

The men around the ark shifted uncomfortably. Their boss was insane. And now they were waiting to escort a deadly soldier from RRTS to Polks main head quarters. Each man wore a look of worry. The Reaper of RRTS did not sound happy, he was going to be trouble. And Polk was not happy at all. So if there was trouble it would be someone’s ass. *gulp*

As the ark activated everyone pointed their guns at the blob of liquid. Slowly one at a time People popped out. First a pair of twins. Then two young soldiers from the second squad. Then an injured soldier, a boy in dirty close with a crazy grin on his face, Miss Grimm, the boy that was kidnaped with them, then Reaper. It was scary how quick they got to their feet and how quick Reaper recovered from the nausea. He didn’t seam affected at all. He was just pissed.

“Take me to Polk!” Reaper growled.

The soldiers around Reaper didn’t think they just followed orders. Anyone with an ounce of survival instinct would have.


Willow blinked at the map before her. She had decided to scurry for Xander since all her other spells said he was on ‘Mars’ or ‘Not on Earth’. It was frustrating. But now the swinging crystal in Willow’s hand pointed at some dried up lake in Nevada. Setting the crystal on the large map Willow watched it move slowly across the paper. Willow smiled. She finally found Xander.

“Giles! Giles look! I found Xander! Now we can go rescue him!”


The End?

You have reached the end of "Doomed and loving it" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 27 Jan 07.

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