The Homicidal Baby Killer
Still not mine. Will never be mine.
The Homicidal Baby Killer
Harry Potter rolled out of the floo in Ronald Weasley’s flat. Scrambling to his feet, he hurried down to the bedroom yelling for his best friend. “Ron!” Harry said flinging the door open, “Have you seen the Quibbler?!”
Ron squawked in surprise and fell off the bed. He hastily groped for a shirt to cover himself. “Harry?! Bugger, mate, what are you doing here?”
“Ronald,” Pansy said with a groan falling back on the bed and pulling the sheets up, “You have got to do something about the security on your flat. You have people popping in all the time.”
“Pansy?!” Harry said shocked before turning about to face the hallway.
Ron leaned back against the bed and sighed as Pansy rolled towards him and started running her fingers through his hair, “Harry, mate, I love you like a brother, but your timing is piss poor.” He grabbed Pansy’s hand and absently kissed it, “No, I haven’t seen the Quibbler.”
“Harry?” Hermione’s voice could be heard from the hallway, “Why are you standing facing the hallway?” She approached Harry and with a curious look on her face, peered into Ron’s bedroom. Her eyes grew wide and she turned pink before she too turned, mirroring Harry.
“Good grief, it’s not like you both haven’t seen me starkers at one time or another,” Ron grumbled.
“I think it’s more me, love,” Pansy drawled in amusement.
“Look, why don’t you both get dressed, Harry and I are off to the kitchen. I think I need a cup of tea,” Hermione said weakly as she turned quickly to close the door, grab Harry by the arm and drag him off towards the kitchen.
Harry winced as he heard a thump and Ron and Pansy broke into peals of laughter. “What are you doing here, Hermione?”
“It seems Ron has not seen this morning’s Quibbler,” Hermione said wryly as she magicked the kettle to heat water and pulled out cups for tea and started rummaging in the cupboards for breakfast.
Just as Hermione had placed a pile of scones on the table with preserves and clotted cream, Ron and Pansy walked in and Ron moved to buss Hermione on the cheek. “So to what do I owe this visit?” Ron asked pouring two cups of tea and preparing them for himself and Pansy.
Harry and Hermione both slapped the Quibbler down on the table in front of Ron and Pansy. “Hey!” Ron said with a smile handing one of the papers to Pansy, “Luna did the article on Connor! This is going to be a doozy. I told Connor that the more spectacular the story, the more circulation the Quibbler gets. He said he would try and make it as spectacular as possible.”
“You mean none of this is true?” Hermione asked in astonishment, her distain for the Quibbler’s questionable reporting warring with her knowledge that Luna would never publish something blatantly untrue.
“Dunno,” Ron replied looking over Pansy’s shoulder as she had opened the paper and was quickly scanning the article, “What does it say?”
“That Ginny’s boyfriend is a homicidal baby killer that consorts with vampires and leads a violent lifestyle,” Harry said emphatically.
“Oh, but he only does it to destroy evil,” Pansy said with a snicker. She liked Connor, he was all earnest do-gooder and amused the heck out of her. “This is great. I can’t figure out if he’s a hero that deserves the Order of Merlin of if I need to run screaming if I see him on the street.”
“I just try to ignore the fact that he’s snogging my sister,” Ron grumbled.
“He’s doing much more to Ginny than just snogging,” Pansy said wickedly, “You should have seen the lingerie that I bought her as a late birthday present.” She watched in amusement as both Ron and Harry slapped their hands over their ears with sounds of protest.
Hermione rolled her eyes, “You are never going to get tired of doing that are you?”
“Nope,” Pansy replied with a smile and toasted Hermione with her tea cup, “I must uphold the Slytherin tradition of torturing Gryffindors. Please, these guys are too easy. How can I pass up an opportunity like that?”
“You don’t seem too upset about this!” Harry accused.
Ron shrugged, “Luna let me look at it before it went to print. There are great pictures, though.” Included with the article were three pictures, Connor stood between Angelus and Spike. Every few seconds, the vampires would shift into their vampiric faces, then would return to be handsome men. The second picture was Connor and Buffy sparing and the last was a picture of Connor smiling with his arms wrapped around Ginny.
Hermione and Harry looked at each other then looked back at Ron, “You seem awfully calm about the whole consorting with vampires, killing his father and child thing,” Hermione said slowly.
“Yeah, he explained all that to me,” Ron said refilling his tea cup.
“So it’s true?” Harry asked.
“And it doesn’t worry you?”
“AND YOU LET GINNY GO OUT WITH THIS GUY!”
Harry’s outburst startled everyone. Pansy cocked an eye over the top of the paper. Hermione jumped and almost spilled her tea. Ron just blinked at Harry in surprise.
“Harry, Zabini and I did a through investigation of this guy. Spoke to his friends, co-workers. We pulled all the ministry files on the events in Los Angeles. He had a tough time growing up, but he’s alright. Plus, if Ginny found out that we didn’t want them together, she’d probably run off and marry him tomorrow and Mum would have a fit and kill me,” Ron said matter-of-factly.
“What?” Harry voiced what the rest of them were thinking. As usual they were stymied by Ron’s logic when it came to the Weasley clan.
“Mum’s sole goal in life is to plan a spectacular wedding for Ginny. You know, only girl and such. If Ginny runs off and elopes, Mum’s gonna blow a gasket.”
“Not to mention Ginny might be upset if you tried to break them up,” Hermione said sarcastically.
“Oh, yeah,” Ron said with a serious nod, “I don’t know who’s scarier, Gin or Mum.”
“Ginny scares all you boys spitless,” Pansy said. It was one of the most amusing things about watching the Weasley siblings interact and one of the reasons that Pansy liked Ginny so much. “None of you would dare to break them up.”
“Is anyone else worried that he’s some kind of mystically prophesized killing machine?” Harry asked in confusion.
“Well, yeah, but he only kills evil things,” Ron was suddenly sober, "It’s not like we haven’t all had to do some killing to keep the Wizarding World safe.”
Harry looked down at the table. Hermione reached over and took his hand which immediately clasped hers. Ron took her other hand while Pansy lay a hand on Ron’s shoulder. They were silent for a moment, remembering things they wished had never happened.
“Look,” Ron said finally, “It’s not that I’m totally happy with Ginny dating.”
Hermione sighed, “You’ve never been happy when Ginny’s dating.”
Harry smiled, “Not even when she was dating me.” They all shared a smile.
“Connor seems like a good guy and Gin really likes him and he’s like us,” Ron said.
“Screwed by fate?” Pansy said with a sly smile, “Oh, no, that would only be Potter, you two just jumped into the lake for the fun of it.” Harry growled at Pansy shooting her a glare which she gleefully ignored.
“Honestly, I don’t know how you two have worked so long as auroring partner without one of you killing the other,” Hermione said biting back a grin.
“The same way Zabini and I manage,” Ron said pecking Pansy on the cheek, “We take it out on our cases.”
“You know, Tonks and I never have these problems,” Hermione said flatly.
“Tonks is not a Slyterin,” Harry replied still glaring at Pansy who just wrinkled her nose at him.
“RON!” Charlie appeared in the fireplace and seeing all of them at the breakfast nook table, he came through the floo. “Emergency family meeting, all of you better come!” Then, with a blink, he was gone back into the fireplace.
Pansy hit Ron on the arm, “See what I told you about your security?”