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Hell on Wheels

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Summary: Yet Another Halloween Xander/ xover I know I love them

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Cartoons > Turbo TeenTromFR1512,479062,17217 Jun 0617 Jun 06Yes
Hell on Wheels

Insert Standard Disclaimer
I do not own or am in any way affiliated with Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Turbo Teen Which is why this is a fanfiction.

Location: Ethan Rayne’s Costume Shop

Alexander ‘Xander’ Harris sighed as he looked around the costume shop after being dismissed by his female friends. All it took was a pretty dress for them to lose interest in him it seems, how fickle were women.

Initially he was going to pick up a toy rifle to supplement his army fatigues that he had at home, but to his irritation they seemed to be all gone. That’s what he got for waiting to the last minute for costume shopping. Walking around the shop while he had to admit there were some excellent costumes that were out of his very limited price range. Not only would it insult his ingenuity and originality buying an off the shelf costume, but the all important fact that he would need the currency to buy lunch the rest of the week.

Walking up to the glass counter display he noticed a variety of pins, the kind you would find on a letterman jacket, got him thinking being a geek through and through the opposite of which would be a jock. But it couldn’t be just any jock no not for Alexander Harris the two-er mark that five dollar costume king as he added up in his head total price of the purchase. Perking up greatly over his ingenuity he waited for the old man who ran the shop to acknowledge him.

“Hello young man, my name is Ethan,” The old dude stated in a bored voice giving away his British accent. Giving Xander the look stating that he wished the day would end already. “How might I help you?”

“Ya can I get the football pin, two of the capital T pins, and one of the fake licenses.” Xander looked at the display case not seeming the irritated face of the proprietor of the store at such a measly sale.

“And what name would you like on the license?” As Ethan placed the paper into a type writer to add the data to make the license complete.

“Brett, Brett Mathews,” The lankly youth smirked at his own little joke.

“I’m sorry but I don’t recall any Mathews from any films and television shows,” Ethan asked with interest. Can it be an American teenager with an original thought in his head?

“Na didn’t think you would,” Xander’s smile broadened at the interest of the store owner. “He was from an old show in the 80’s, only lasted one season but at the time I thought it was kind of cool, plus combine these little goodies with my old man’s old letterman jacket and I have the complete costume.

Now this really confused Ethan, while not being overly familiar with American television, he hoped to have some idea of what the chaos would cause the young man to turn into. ‘A werewolf? Didn’t Teenwolf come out in that time? Ah yes that must be it,’ not that he remembered the character’s name of the show. Smiling at the thought the boy in front of him changing into a werewolf and terrorizing the sleepy little Hellmouth town, he decided to add a little bit of a personal touch the teen’s costume.

“How about I put a picture on that ID to really give it a personal touch,” The more the victim-er purchaser related to his costume the deeper they would fall into its personality.

Xander looked a little worried at that, “That won’t cost any extra would it?”
Looking a little embarrassed, “I’m kind of tight on funds.”

“Not at all,” Ethan replied with a swarthy grin on his face. Pulling out a Polaroid camera and snapping a picture he soon had the License ready and in a bag with Xander’s other purchases.

Which a quick goodbye to his friends and the promise to meet up with them at Buffy’s house, the teen left for home hoping to avoid his parents has he rummaged through his father’s old high school leftovers.

“Aha,” Xander exclaimed silently as he finally found the most important piece of his costume, a red letterman jacket from when his father was on the good old SunnyHell football team. His nose wrinkled in irritation at the mothball smell. “Better air it out for a bit.”

Now all he needed was a couple things from the refrigerator.

The Summer’s Residence

Joyce Summer or as the local kid’s called her Buffy’s Mom went to answer the door of her home. Opening it up to reveal Buffy’s male friend Alexander or as he liked to be called Xander, standing there in blue jeans, high top sneakers, black tee shirt, and a letterman jacket with a football and two capital letter Ts pins on the breast. The jacket hung a little loosely on his frame but was clean.

“Evening Mrs. Summers,” Xander smiled at the source of countless baked goods.

This caused Joyce to sigh and reply, “Xander, how many times do I have to tell you call me Joyce?” Even though she was the mother of two she didn’t really feel all that old.

“At least one more time Mrs. Summers,” Xander smirked at using that old line. This brought a broad smile to the Elder Summers’ face.

“The girls should be down shortly,” With that they both looked to the top of the stairs as Buffy Summers, Slayer of Vampires and various creatures of darkness waited for them to notice her so she could make her entrance.

“Buffy! Lady of Buffdom, Duchess of Buffonia, I am in awe! I completely renounce spandex!” Xander loudly announced as he watched the Slayer make her way down the stairs.

“Thank you kind Sir,” She replied in a curtsy. “If you think this is good wait until you see- Casper.” Buffy finished glumly as Willow came down the stairs with a sheet over her with the words BOO written on them. Not what they had on mind. Honestly how was she going to get Xander to notice her in a girl friend kind of way if she didn’t try.

“That’s a mighty fine BOO you got there Will.” He wasn’t really surprised as this has been the Willow’s for the last couple halloweens.

“So Xan, who are you suppose to be? The Jock look looks good on you.” Buffy replied with a slight hint of movement in Willows direction, trying to get the ghost girl to speak up and stand out, but to her dismay failing completely.

“Hey my names Brett Mathews,” Xander introduced himself with a big grin. “When I’m not trying to survive high school I am secretly trying to foil the planes of the evil Dark Rider.”

“Huh so some kind of high school secret agent or something?” Buffy asked.
“Cool lets get moving before Snider gets an excuse to give use detention.”

“Now Buffy when has Snider ever needed an excuse to give someone detention?” Remarked Xander as they left the house after saying goodbye to Buffy’s Mother.

Ethan’s Costume shop later that Evening

"Finally, it's time."

Ethan Rayne, Chaos mage, walked quickly through his shop into a back room. Then he stepped up to a curtained off area and pulled back the heavy drape in a single movement.

There was a table with a bust on it. The bust of Janus; the multi headed Roman god of Chaos and Portals.

Ethan knelt before his statue and started the ritual by his palms with a small knife. Pressing his hands together he winces in pain, and then pulled them apart, his palms bled freely.

“The world that denies thee, thou inhabit.” Ethan dabbed the blood from his hand over his right eyelid.

“The peace that ignores thee…” then he dabbed some over his left eyelid, “…thou corrupt.”

Then he quickly made the sign of the cross on his forehead.

“Chaos. I remain, as ever, thy faithful, degenerate son.”

In the streets of Sunnydale

Brett Mathews steadied himself as wave of dizziness overcame and looked about in confusion. “Alex? Flip? Where is everybody? What the heck happened? Where am I?” One moment he and his two best friends were on the way to classes when he ended up here. Not only was it nighttime but around him there seemed to be monsters running around attacking pedestrians. He just managed to dodge out of the way of a little monster intent on doing him harm and ran off to hide behind of bush.

‘Definitely not good what the heck is going on around here.’ He thought as he watched around cautiously. Then to his dismay he watched as one of the monsters ripped apart another with its bare hands? Claws?

“Okay these things are definitely dangerous,” He muttered to himself.
“and strong. It’s Turbo Teen time.” Fear creeping into his voice. He needed to do something as he patted down his pockets until found what he was looking for, a jar of jalapeño peppers. Quickly opening the jar he grabbed one and stuffed it in his mouth and started chewing. The familiar burning sensation and eyes watering experience of eating the very hot pepper, which started raising his temperature.

Holding his hands in front of him as they changed into a pair of tires and the start of chassis connected them together, he felt as the rest of him changed as well. His feet also became tires connecting together like the hands did and then formed the complete chassis. His face stretched out forming into a face grill and head lights as the rest of his body transformed into a two door red sports car convertible.

Revving his engine to get the gas flowing Turbo Teen sped out onto the road trying to keep the monsters away from the pedestrians by a) either scaring them off the road by making it look like he was going to hit them, or b) actually hitting them and knocking them flying. He then sped off into the night trying to figure out what The Darker Rider was up to this time and how could he stop him.
Else Where

Willow Rosenberg normally computer girl now Willow the friendly ghost ran down the street trying to find her friends. She stopped for a moment to see this cherry red sports car run over some demons only noticing that there was no one at the wheel of said vehicle. Blaming it on the Hellmouth she continued on her way to find her wayward friends.
Again Else Where

Lady Elizabeth was terrified. She found herself far from her estates in a demon infested land with no idea on how she got here. She was about to cross the strange hard earthen road when this large red demon came barreling down it screaming at her noisily. She screamed as she quickly got out of the way. “AAAAHHHHHH A DEMON!!!” The Cherry red sports car not even paying her any notice as it sped away in search of help and answers.

Once again Else Where

Spike couldn’t believe the terror and chaos that was happening on the streets during what was usually the most boring night of the year. With a great big shit eating grin on his face he started down the street to join in on the festivities when out of no where he is slammed from behind by a car sending him flying, his bones breaking and reforming quickly due to his vampiric nature it still hurt like hell.
“Aaargh!! Someone is going to die!” He snarled as his demonic visage came forth only to stare at the cherry red convertible that was driving itself.
“Bloody Hell,” He muttered backing away fearfully. “Not another one of them things.” That was when he decided tonight was a good night to stay home and watch the telly.

A wave of magic spread across the whole town as a certain bust of an Elder God was smashed onto the floor by a very irate school librarian, Alexander Harris suddenly found himself cruising down the main as an automobile. While Xander had witnessed a great number of strange and unusual things since his discovery of the supernatural aspects of his home town, the sudden finding of oneself as an automobile was really one for the record books. This caused him to lose control of his driving as he skidded onto a lawn that had its sprinklers going. The sudden onset of cold water quickly changed him back to his teenage appearance, on his hands and knees looking for all worlds to be completely pole-axed. Crediting it to the Hellmouth he stood up and dusted his hands off and then went in search of his friends to make sure that they were all right not to mention all the kids he was suppose to be chaperoning.
“Man who is gonna believe this?” He muttered to himself.

A couple months In to the future

Angelus reveled in his freedom from the soul that plagued him for all those years as he walked down the street. Unlife was good. Terrorizing people, slaughtering people, leaving their dead bodies so that their loved ones can find then unexpectedly. Yep good times. He was just out for a quick bit to eat when he had to cover his eyes from the glaring high beams of a car that was coming down the road. He barely had time to register surprise when it hit him at full speed, the tires bouncing over his body. Groggily he sat up to see the car stop and it’s reverse lights come and it came at him again in reverse slamming into his face as the wheels created more tred marks on his body. He just laid there completely disoriented and the car then came again and rested its rear left tire over his chest. Screaming in pain, he clawed at the tires in an effort to get it off him. He might have had vampiric strength but he was in a bad position to make use of it.

Xander Harris put his parking brake on and turned up the volume of his radio to drown out the screams of the vampire bastard that had killed Miss Calender a couple nights ago. Buffy might think that he was still Angel but that was hardly any consolation to Giles who had found her body in his bed. Now all he had to do was nothing, just sit there and do nothing because it was only a couple of hours until the sun was up. So he could truthfully tell the rest of the Scoobies that he did nothing to Angelus after hitting him a couple times with his new favorite tactic for dealing with monsters. Hit and run.

The End

You have reached the end of "Hell on Wheels". This story is complete.

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