Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the recognizable characters. They are owned by others, who are not me. This is all in the spirit of fun. No copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: More madcap mayhem. Oh, and Jack and the girls go on their first patrol. 4th story in the KWS series.
KWS Hallway, Administration Wing
“Hurry up!” came a fierce whisper from just around the corner.
Jonathan Jackson took a final look around, patted the door before him affectionately, then quickly made his way to the location of the whispered voice. He crouched down next to Silvia “Silver” Fox, who was keeping an eye down the hallway Jack had just vacated.
“Here he comes!” she said in an excited whisper. She was practically bouncing at Jack’s side. They exchanged a final grin, then turned back to watch the show.
Their target was almost by the door when Jack suddenly felt someone watching them. He twisted his head to look over his shoulder and faced the Guidance Counselor, Xander Harris. Damn, they’d been busted! Not realizing this as she hadn’t taken her eyes from the target, Silver grasped Jack’s arm drawing his attention back to the proceedings at hand.
The target went to open the door, but it wouldn’t budge. He frowned, then pulled out his keys and tried unlocking it. He tried to pull it open again but the door still refused to budge. With an aggrieved sigh, he began muttering to himself, “Why do they keep showing them that damn spell? And why do they all feel compelled to try it out on me?” He quickly muttered the counter-spell and pulled the door open.
Looking like a gloriously bright, multi-colored Easter egg, Principal Robin Wood stood before his office door with a shocked expression. Silver was laughing so hard, though silently, that her entire body was shaking. Jack risked another glance at Xander to try to gauge exactly how much trouble they were in.
Xander was leaning to the side so he had a good view of Robin. He looked almost as shocked as Robin did. Slowly, his lips began to quiver and a small smile appeared on his face which quickly changed into a smirk then a full blown grin. Without so much as another glance at Jack, Xander turned around and walked away, his shoulders shaking with mirth.
Jack couldn’t believe it; Xander was going to let them get away with it! Silver grabbed Jack’s hand and pulled him along as she began to sprint down another corridor. She didn’t stop running until they reached the student lounge area on the third floor. Unable to hold it in any longer, she burst out laughing. She was laughing so hard, she was doubled over. Jack wasn’t laughing – he was panting for breath, trying to recover from his race across the school and up two flights of stairs behind a slayer who’d maintained her grip on his hand the entire time. He fell into the nearest couch praying he wouldn’t have to move for at least a week. The other students in the lounge turned in their direction upon their entry but then continued what they were doing as they were now quite used to the antics of the Wild Pack, as Jack and his friends were known (a couple of the girls had lobbied for the Sexy Sextets but Jack strongly vetoed the idea, going so far as to say he wouldn’t hang out with them if he ever heard them referred to that way).
“Did you hear what happened to Wood?” Jacqueline Tran asked as she joined the group at lunch, obviously eager to recount the tale.
“Did something happen to Wood?” Silver innocently asked. Tran immediately eyed her suspiciously.
“What did you do to him this time?” Victoria Santos asked in amused exasperation.
“Why do you automatically assume it was me?” Silver asked affronted.
They all turned to look at her incredulously. “Well, let’s see … there was the time you rigged his car alarm to play ‘Oh, I Wish I Was In Dixie’ on the hour, every hour,” Silver’s twin, Shayna (better known as Shy) answered.
“Then there was the time you painted his office lime green with fuchsia and neon orange accents,” added Adrienne Long.
“Oh, and don’t forget the time-” Victoria began before being cut off by Silver.
“So you’re saying that I’m the obvious suspect.” This statement was met with various “duh”s, a “hello!” and an “obviously.”
“Well, that’s hardly fair! They were never able to prove I did any of those things. I could be perfectly innocent,” Silver pouted.
“Are you?” asked Tran.
“So not the point,” Silver answered.
“You’re right,” said Tran. “The point is we’re supposed to be friends, pals, best buds, yet do I get an invite to join in your frolicking festivity of fun?! No! What’s up with that? I have to hear about it third hand.”
“Shut up!” Silver hissed. “I never said it was me. Are you trying to get me in trouble?” Silver looked around to see if anyone was paying attention to their conversation.
Tran leaned in and whispered “You look me in the eye, Silver Fox and tell me you had nothing to do with Wood looking like a huge Easter egg!”
“Easter egg?!” the other girls giggled.
“It was me,” Jack confessed. “Silver just acted look out.”
“The best part is it’ll take a week to fade completely, even with Willow’s help,” Silver crowed.
“Remind me not to piss you off,” Victoria told Jack, obviously impressed.
“So what did he do?” Adrienne asked.
“He pretty much just stood there in shock,” Jack answered.
“No, I mean what did he do to piss you off.”
Adrienne said, “Come on, Jack. You don’t usually strike unless someone’s done something.”
“Or he’s bored,” put in Tran, having been on the receiving end of Jack’s boredom, though never anything at this level.
“Or he’s helping Silver,” added Shy.
“Hey! Okay, valid” Silver relented when Shy just arched her eyebrow at her. “Can I help it if I’m a mixture of creativity and slayer energy?”
“We were busted by the way,” Jack said softly.
Silver’s head snapped to him. “No, we weren’t.”
“Yeah, we were. Xander spotted us. He saw the whole thing go down.”
“So why haven’t we been hauled into the office yet? Is this some kind of torture, make us sweat it out?”
“Maybe he’s hoping you’ll turn yourselves in,” Adrienne posited.
“Hey, there’s no sense confessing unless they’ve got the murder weapon and me on tape doing the crime. And, even then it was my evil twin,” Tran said making her opinion of confessing very clear.
“Hey, I could actually use that!” said Silver, her eyes dancing.
“If anyone’s the evil twin, it you, not me. Just ask anyone, they’ll tell you,” replied Shy with a smile.
Jack smiled and declared “I don’t think he’s gonna turn us in. He seemed to think it was funny.”
“See, Xander totally rocks!” Adrienne declared.
Tran looked at her oddly. “Who says ‘rocks’?”
“My money’s still on Xander as the one who nailed all Wood’s desk drawers shut,” Silver smirked.
“Didn’t Principal Wood actually accuse him at the time?” Adrienne queried.
“Yeah, but then Xander pulled his hurt-puppy face and said something about being a professional or something. Willow and Faith made Wood apologize,” Shy took up the story.
“Of course, the whole following week, I swear I heard Xander humming ‘If I Had a Hammer’,” Victoria laughed.
“Why are we here?” Adrienne nervously asked the others. “You don’t think …”
“Nah,” Jack quickly reassured her. “If it was just us, then maybe. But there’ve got to be about fifteen others here.”
“I hate to break it to you, Jack, but you and Silver are not the only delinquents in this school,” Victoria voiced.
“Okay, I’m detecting some serious selective amnesia going on here. Silver and I are not the only ones in this little group of ours. You guys are as much Wild Pack as we are. And don’t go acting all innocent because you aren’t, not even you two,” he said turning to Adrienne and Shy.
“Yeah,” Shy replied “but we look innocent, so we’re less likely to be blamed.” She and Adrienne then promptly beamed their best I-don’t-even-know-what-mischief-means smiles at him.
Silver turned to Jack. “We’re such idiots. Why haven’t we been having them talk us out of trouble before?”
“Because we’re idiots. From now on one takes point and the other covers our asses.”
“I like it,” interjected Tran.
“Alright, people. Shut it,” Faith said as she exited the attached conference room followed by Giles (who shook his head slightly at Faith’s teaching style), Willow and Xander. “As you can see we’ve got an interesting assembly of students here. You guys make up five groups of troublemakers from the Sophomore and Junior classes.” She walked over to a group of four Juniors. “Caryn Davis, Stephen Parker, Julia Lasseigne, and Jessica Kolacki, otherwise known as the Society of Jokesters, Pranksters & Tricksters Extraordinaire.” The Juniors seemed quite pleased with this pronouncement.
Turning to the group of Sophomores next to them, she continued, “Ah, the Triple Threat (Wendy Nieves, Donna Levin and Maria Stallman) whose motto I believe is ‘Sea, Land or Air if there’s mayhem, we were there’.”
Wendy turned to her cohorts and said “Hey, I like that. I say we use it.” The other two quickly agreed.
“Faith we’re not supposed to be giving them ideas,” Giles intoned.
She just shrugged and continued on with the next group of Juniors: Laurie Rakusin, Kathryn Rogers, Meredith Howard, Susan Morton, and Adam Green. “Our very own Merry Band of Mischief Makers.”
“Actually we prefer ‘Rabble Rousers,’” said Adam, who upon receiving Faith’s stare, added “but, you know, whatever you prefer is fine,” which earned him a “wuss” from Susan.
“Moving along, that brings us to The Triad of Trouble, Torment and Turmoil.”
Jordan McDonald, a Junior, immediately said “I’m Trouble,” which was followed almost instantly by Jeanine Shinde choosing “I’m Torment.”
Stacy Johnson sighed. “Well, I guess that leaves me as Turmoil. I can live with that,” she smirked.
By this point, Faith was smiling. “And last but not least: The Wild Pack, whose escapades have been described as wickedly shrewd, cunning and daring.” They were each quite pleased, not having realized they’d earned such a stellar reputation.
Faith went on, “You’ve all proven you’re creative, smart and can work as a team. I know you’ve been waiting for this and now’s your chance. You’re going on patrol.” The students began to murmur excitedly and Jack muttered a heartfelt “finally.”
Faith continued, “Make no mistake about it, kiddies. This is a test. How you do tonight will determine whether you get to patrol again anytime soon. I see anyone pulling some lame-ass heroics and you’ll be lucky if I let you patrol after you graduate. Each group will go with one of us and Spike, who decided not work on his suntan today.” The students snickered. “You will do what we say, when we say it or you WILL suffer the consequences. And if any of you die tonight, I’ll have Willow resurrect your ass, so I can beat the shit out of you. Got it?”
“Wow, she really knows how to give a pep talk, doesn’t she?” whispered Shy. The others chuckled quietly.
The adults went to the groups they’d be leading. Giles went to the Triple Threat, Willow to the Society Extraordinaire, Xander to The Triad, and Faith to the Merry Band.
“Looks like we get Spike,” Tran said.
“Look again, girlie,” replied Faith. “I was just letting them know Spike was going to meet with them later. You’re stuck with me.”
“That’s not a problem,” Jack was quick to say.
“Don’t be so sure,” Faith shot back. The look on her face said it would be an interesting patrol.
Pleasant Rest Cemetery
“This is boring,” whined Tran.
Faith looked over at her. “We just got started.”
“It’s been an hour,” Tran argued, as the others silently agreed.
“Yeah, well seeing as we’ve still got hours to go, that’s a good thing. Now shut up.”
“Maybe we should split up,” suggested Silver.
“Yeah, and maybe a monkey should fly outa my ass but it ain’t gonna happen. Look, this is patrolling. It’s not glamorous and most of the time, if you’re lucky, it’s not exciting. ‘Cause when it is exciting, believe me you’ll be wishing like hell you were bored again.”
“Okay, wait a minute. We’ve all heard the stories. You live for the slaying. You can’t tell us that THIS is what you live for. No way! You live for the SLAYING, the kicking of demon ass! When do we get to do that?” huffed Silver.
Faith wasn’t looking at her though. Instead she was looking beyond her. “Looks like right about now.”
The others spun around following Faith’s line of sight. There was a gang of five vampires approaching them.
Each felt a rush of fear and panic rise up, which was quickly tamped down. Actually only the panic was tamped down, the fear remained in healthy doses, which they had been assured was a good thing as it usually prevented doing anything too stupid ... usually. The friends shared a quick look, exchanged a few hand signals, nodded their heads, then began to spread out forcing the vampires to do the same.
Jack and Adrienne went to the left. One of the vampires separated from the others pursuing them. The vampire ran his tongue over his distended fangs, contemplating his tasty treats. Jack and Adrienne continued to move until the three of them were off to the side, away from the others but still within view and shouting range. They then edged away from each other positioning the vampire between them.
“You know, I’ve got to admit this is a disappointment,” Jack stated casually to the vampire.
“What?” asked the confused vampire as he tried to keep his eyes on both of them. He was clearly trying to figure out how to keep one from escaping while he ate the other one.
“Well, I’ve just heard so much about you. Well, not you specifically, ‘cause I don’t know who you are. You aren’t famous are you? ‘Cause that would be kind of embarrassing. I meant vampires in general.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” The vampire was starting to get annoyed. He moved quickly forward to grab Jack around the throat. However, he saw it coming and dodged just in time, though he was bleeding slightly from a scratch caused by the vampire’s nail scraping his neck as he missed. The vampire growled and pivoted. He struck out at Jack again and this time he didn’t miss. Jack was knocked to the ground. The vampire immediately lunged on top of him and lowered his head ready to sink his fangs into Jack’s jugular. He was a hair’s breath from enjoying his meal when he exploded into dust. Adrienne and Jack were left facing each other panting, the stakes they’d plunged into the vampire’s heart so close they were practically touching.
“Okay, we need to work on that a bit,” Jack said as Adrienne helped him back up. “I’d already shaved this morning. I didn’t need another one.”
“And definitely not that close, I’d bet,” Adrienne agreed as she spared him a brief smile, before they turned back to the others. Victoria was just shaking off the dust on her clothes and hair from the vampire she’d killed (apparently downwind). Tran and Silver were taking turns wailing on a vamp between them. One would hit him hard enough he’d spin around, then the other would return the favor.
“Quit playin’ and stake him, already!” Faith shouted despite the fact that she wasn’t doing more than batting her own vampire around. Silver hit the vampire one last time sending him directly at Tran, who jammed the stake in his chest and jumped back immediately to avoid Victoria’s fate.
That left just one vampire remaining, if you didn’t count the one currently playing the role of a cat toy. Shy was battling the vampire, who was at least a good head taller than her and twice as wide, not that it was doing him any good. She was all over him, kicking, spinning, jumping, punching. She was a blur of motion. The vampire couldn’t keep up. She feinted left and when he moved to follow she twisted to the right, got under his beefy arm and staked him before he even realized his error.
The Wild Pack stood looking at Shy in wonder.
“Damn, Sis. When did you get so good?” questioned Silver as she moved to stand next to her.
“Well, I have plenty of time to practice, since I’m not always coming up with new ways to torture the teaching staff,” she smiled.
“Not that again!”
“Well it’s true. All I have to do is help execute the plan, while you and Jack have to while away precious time thinking the stuff up!”
“Oh, so we get the hard job, while the rest of you slackers get to take it easy,” Jack teased.
Tran, Adrienne, Victoria and Shy looked at each other then laughed and said, “Oh, yeah!”
“Release me!” the sole surviving vampire growled at Faith.
“Say please,” she told him, like a mother scolding her errant child.
The vampire looked at her questioningly but obediently said, “Please.”
“You’ll go straight home and not feed on anyone?” Faith asked.
“Yes,” was the immediate answer.
Faith plunged the stake into his heart and he crumbled to dust at her feet. She turned to see them all staring at her. “I didn’t believe him,” she shrugged.
“So what was that with the hand movements?” Faith asked them, waving her hands around, which looked nothing like the military hand signals they’d executed earlier.
“I come from military,” Jack replied smoothly.
“Cool,” she said with a shrug. “That could actually come in handy. You mind if I mention it to the others? If they agree, would you be willing to teach us?”
“So, pizza?” Faith asked.
“Cool!” the others agreed.
A/N: Thanks DeeRose for the idea about using hand signals on patrol.