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Evil is Relative

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Summary: I decided to make this into a series. A series where the Scoobies' families turn out to be EVIL!

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > General > Theme: Real FamilyCousinMaryFR13911,041411236,72725 Jun 063 Jun 10Yes

Son of Evil

For MagnusXXN’s ‘Xander’s Evil Dad Challenge’

Disclaimers: If I owned BTVS or the Austin Powers series I’d tell ya, really I would. But I don’t.

The Son of Evil
By: Cousin Mary

“So, let me get this straight,” Xander glanced around the gleaming white conference room, with it’s world maps with large red X’s scrawled over strategic locations and miscellaneous weaponry laying about. Sure he’d been kidnapped before. What Scooby hadn’t? But never had he been forced against his will to someplace so… cool, “You think I’m your son and you just want to get to know me better?”

The very pale, very bald man smiled at him, all teeth and awkwardness. “Yes, I want you to call me… ‘Dad.”

“Um, alright, Dad.” Xander looked down at the table with it’s embossed 'Dr. Evil' logo. “Can I call my friends and tell them I’m okay?”

“Why of course." He smiled again, lifting an equally bald cat off the floor and stroking it. “What kind of dad would I be if I didn’t allow that? Why don’t you have them over? You can have a party in one of my secret lairs.”

“That would be,” Xander’s mind couldn’t quite wrap around that. He looked to the other person at the table. At first he’d thought the red head was Oz, but his wolfy friend had never pouted so much in his life. Xander looked back to Dr. Evil, “Sure, I can invite them.”

“Great, I’ll have the volcano lair spruced up.” Dr. Evil turn and left, meeting the strange #2 in the hall.

“You’re such a suck up.” The red head sneered. “No way’d you catch me trying to be all look at me I’m the best son, I want my daddy!”

“Uh.” Xander rubbed the knot on his head, left over from the kidnapping. “So, you’re his son too?”

“Lot of good it’s done me.” The teen slid deeper into his chair, gnawing on his lip and glaring at the door Dr. Evil had left.

“What’s your name?” Xander asked.

“I’m Scott,” The red-head answered mockingly. “And you’re Xander, want to hug now? One big flippin’ family.”

“I’m inviting girls,” Xander offered, “Cute ones.”

Scott looked a little less grouchy at that. “Oh yeah? Single?”

“Well, two are sort of lesbians. And one’s my girl friend, but yeah,” Xander shrugged, “Buffy’s single.”

“Lesbians?” Hardly any pout left at all now.

Just then Dr. Evil reentered with a flourish. “So, good, yes. The party will be tomorrow. All evil plans have been rescheduled until Wednesday. Cake and soda will be served.”

“Uh, great Dad.” Xander smiled.

“Yeah, totally.” Scott nodded.

“Would you boys like to go fishing now?” Dr. Evil asked his sons.

“Fishing?” Scott asked. “Like, fishing fishing?”

“Well, evil fishing of course.” Dr. Evil led them out to his docked boat, the ‘Evil Boat.’

“How do you fish evilly?” Xander asked as his new found family was equipped with life jackets and fishing rods.

“Like this of course.” And with that Dr. Evil flipped a switch and with a series of mechanical movements the craft transformed into a robot great white shark, big enough to swallow a small Buick. “Bwhaha-hahahahahaa!”

Scott and Xander looked at each other, shrugged and joined in. “Bwhahahahaha!”

Silly, but fun :)
Reviews would be loved!
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