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Summary: The PR department at the new Watchers' Council International has a delicate job of indoctrination.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > Saturday Night LiveEricJablowFR71177031,01928 Jun 0628 Jun 06Yes
“Madam, if you just listen to me.”

“I raised my daughter to have respect for authority, and I expect she raised her daughter to respect authority too.”

“But, Mrs. Li—”

“And when she was in Little League, she was taught never to argue ball and strike counts.”

“I don't think you understand.”

“Why, the one time she complained about a close play at first, I know her mother sent her to bed without any supper.”

“Madam, if you'd just let me explain—”

“And now my daughter tells me my granddaughter is working for this WCI and fighting blood-sucking umpires every night. How dare she. And I'm certain umpires drink beer, just like the rest of us.”

“Mrs. Litella, she's fighting vampires. Blood-sucking vampires, not umpires.”

“Oh, that's different. Never mind.”


In Memoriam, Gilda Radner, born 28 June 1946.

Emily Litella was played by the late great Gilda Radner on Saturday Night Live, a possession of NBC, the Not-Ready for Prime Time Players, and Lorne Michaels. BtVS is the property of Joss Whedon, and Mutant Enemy, Inc.

The End

You have reached the end of "Umpires". This story is complete.

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