AN: written for amara_m for the UCP Ficathon. Set two years post “Chosen” for BtVS, just prior to the Atlantis episode “The Intruder.”
Fandom: Buffy Crossed with Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Prompt: Faith gets what she wants, and she wants McKay
Category preferred: Het, big time
I don't want: lack of snarkiness
Neither Buffy nor Stargate belong to me, alas.
Faith walked into the bar and scowled. It was a nice place; too nice. The kind of place Robin had liked to take her on the rare occasions they were back in the States; way classier than any place she’d have gone on her own. But Debbie from the Denver coven had recommended it as a place to pick up hot guys, and Faith really didn’t feel like spending hours hunting for a place that didn’t remind her of her ex. Besides, the witch had been right; whatever problems Faith might have with the décor, it was a ‘target-rich environment.’
Faith grabbed one of the few vacant seats at the bar and grunted for a glass of whatever was on tap before turning around to scope out the possibilities. Most of the other drinkers were men between the ages of twenty and forty, most were fit, some still had their uniforms or fatigues on. As for height, skin color, looks, there were a wide variety to choose from. Yeah, she could see what would bring a witch here to one of the bastions of Conservative Christianity in Colorado.
Knocking back some beer, Faith surveyed her potential prey. More than one had noticed her entrance and made eye contact, accompanied by a tentative smile as often as not. Too pudgy, maybe, maybe, too bald, too much like Robin … that Asian dude over there in the corner had definite
potential. The tall white hunk with the mussed hair at the nearest table looked good even with more product in his hair than Faith ever used, but he hadn’t noticed her and she didn’t beg for anyone’s attention.
“Rodney, in the three weeks we’ve been back … here, you haven’t left the mountain except to go home and sleep,” the hunk said to his companion. They were seated at a table a few feet away from the bar, with the cute guy facing almost directly towards Faith. “In a week and a half, we’re going back, and who knows when we’ll get to come back, or get our next chance to have a break. I promised Doctor Weir I’d make sure you got out and relaxed at least once while we’re home, and that’s what we’re here for. Tomorrow you can go back and bury yourself in your lab and flirt with Lieutenant Colonel Carter over the phone to your heart’s content. But tonight, we are going to kick back and enjoy ourselves.”
“Please, Major,” his companion said.
“Lieutenant Colonel,” the cute one corrected.
“Whatever,” the other one said, waving a dismissive hand. He was a little on the pudgy side, with a receding hairline and a pinched look on his face that seemed habitual. “Look, despite what you may think I am in fact a grown man and have been taking care of myself quite well since I was all of five years old. I also have a brain larger than that of a fruit fly and have never seen the appeal in using cheap grain alcohol to drug oneself into doing stupid embarrassing things that one will invariably regret later and which can be used for blackmail by anyone who finds out about them, followed the next day by pain, nausea, and general misery. Oh, and did I mention getting drunk also kills brain cells? Granted, you probably don’t use yours enough to notice, and I am brilliant enough that I could lose a large fraction of my brain cells without losing any measurable amount of genius, but it’s still a pointless waste of time, energy, and money. In short, if you want to take me some place to relax, a bar is not the place to choose.”
Faith hadn’t been planning on eavesdropping—it wasn’t that she had anything in particular against it, but she had better things to do—but pudgy one had been speaking loudly, and he was kinda hard to ignore. Besides, she liked his snark.
“You don’t have to get drunk, Rodney, just relax,” the cute one said. “Enjoy the scenery, the conversation, the,” he paused and smiled at Faith over the Rodney dude’s shoulder, “the company.”
Faith considered for all of two seconds before hopping off her stool and sauntering over to take the guy up on his offer. He was sexy, looked nothing like Robin, and it was the most direct invitation she’d had so far. She could always bail if she didn’t like him; the night was young. “Hey,” she said, arriving at his table.
“Hello,” the hunk said with a smile, gesturing for her to take the chair. “I’m Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard,” he rolled the title around in his mouth like it was the coolest thing ever, “and this is Doctor Rodney McKay.”
“Faith Lehane,” she replied, grabbing the chair and flipping it around to straddle it. She sat as close to the back of the chair as she could, opening her leather-clad legs wide. She leaned over the back, giving both men a good look down the front of her tank top. Hey, no one had ever accused her of being subtle, and she didn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea about what she wanted.
“Hey.” Faith nodded McKay before turning her attention back to the soldier. “So, what brings you to the Springs this fine evening?” She ran a finger around the lip of her glass casually.”
“Leave.” He smiled at her.
Faith blinked. “What?”
“I’m on leave,” he explained. “It’s like a vacation. Except, I’m not supposed to go too far in case they need me.” He shrugged modestly.
“So, you’re a pretty important guy, huh?” Faith smirked. “Lieutenant Colonel.” She rolled the words around in her mouth and took a swig of her beer. As she set her glass down, she edged closer to him.
“Oh, please, there are others present.”
Startled, Faith turned back to the other guy. Usually, other guys tried to horn in—they didn’t try to shoo her away. Was he gay?
“I’ve had to sit through enough of your Captain Kirking on missions, Lieutenant Colonel
. I don’t have to do it while I am—as you so insistently put it—trying to relax. So if you’re gonna do this, I’m
gonna get a cab and go home.”
“Rodney—” Sheppard began.
“So, you gay?” Faith cut him off.
” Rodney jerked in surprise, mouth hanging open. “Where in the world did that idiotic idea come from?”
“Well, most guys in your situation would be trying to get in my pants, not send me off. And you seemed jealous here about your friend getting some.” Faith shrugged.
, I am not jealous. Or gay. And if I were gay, Lehane, I can assure you that I would have better taste than to fall for an overgrown child with delusions of adequacy and testosterone poisoning like the Major, here.” Rodney took a sip of his beer with a grimace.
“It’s Lieutenant Colonel
, Rodney,” Sheppard said with an edge. “And I think I’m doing a pretty adequate job of keeping you and everybody else on—” he glanced at Faith “—on the base alive and well, and the Air Force must think so too or they wouldn’t have promoted me, now would they.”
“That’s just because Elizabeth likes you,” Rodney shot back. “It completely ignores the fact that the second some pretty young thing bats her eyelashes at you, you fall all over yourself to give her whatever she wants. And you have a thing for big explosions. Though I will admit, the explosions thing comes in handy sometimes.”
“Thank you,” Sheppard said dryly.
“Big explosions, huh?” Faith said, grinning salaciously at Sheppard. “Sounds like fun.” She’d been enjoying the show, but it wasn’t likely to lead to her kind of fireworks any time soon.
Rodney made a choking noise and she turned back to him.
“So, if you’re not gay, why aren’t you trying to get in on the action?”
He looked at her like she was nuts and folded his arms over his chest. “Oh, please, you’ve been all over Sheppard since you came over. What would my chances of getting you be even if I did want to make a fool of myself?”
Faith smirked and leaned closer to him. “Y’know, I just wanna get laid, tonight. I’m not picky.”
Rodney blinked and sat up straighter. “Really?” he said, voice rising in pitch. “You might—I actually have a chance at getting laid?”
Faith snickered. “Maybe.” She looked him up and down, slowly. There was muscle under that flab that hadn’t been apparent from the bar, and he had a restless energy that was kinda cute. No hunk, but then, she was trying to find a guy the opposite of Robin, right? And while personality wasn’t exactly what she was after, his snarking was kinda fun to listen to. “If
you play your cards right.” She took another swallow of beer.
Sheppard cleared his throat, and Faith turned her attention back to him. “I think—” he was cut off by the ringing of a cell phone. “Excuse me,” he said, and rooted around in his coat pocket. “Sheppard.” He frowned. “Can’t it wait until morning?” He listened, face twisting. “I’ll be right there.” He flipped the phone closed. “I’m sorry to run out on you like this,” he said to Faith with a really cute smile that he knew how to use to best effect. “But, they need me back on the base. Don’t suppose you have a phone number I could reach you at? Maybe we could get together tomorrow, or something.”
“Nah,” Faith said. Tomorrow was too far in advance to make any plans, and she wanted to get laid tonight.
“Oh, and what am I chopped liver?” Rodney broke in. “How am I supposed to get home? We took your car.”
“You could always call a cab,” Sheppard suggested. “Or you could come with me back to the base. I practically had to drag you out of your lab kicking and screaming, I’m sure you’ve got a few research projects you’d rather be working on right now.”
“No, no thanks.” Rodney gave him a smirk and scooted closer to Faith. “Suddenly, I get the whole ‘going to a bar’ thing. I think I’m gonna sit here and … relax.”
Sheppard pouted slightly—also a good look for him, Faith noted, he’d probably have B eating out of his hand by now—and stood up. “Well, then I guess I’ll just see you back at the base tomorrow morning, then. Bright and early.” He nodded to Faith. “Ms. Lehane.”
Faith watched him walk out. He did have a nice ass, but she was surprised to find she didn’t regret being left here with Rodney. Sheppard was just too smoooth.
“Well,” Rodney said.
She turned back to find him staring at her with a confused look, as if, once he had her alone he didn’t quite know what to say to her. Andrew looked like that sometimes. “You’re not a geek, are you?” she asked suspiciously.
“What?” Rodney said blankly.
“A geek. ‘Cause you mentioned Captain Kirk earlier, and now you’re not sure what to do with a girl.”
“I know what to do with a girl
,” Rodney said indignantly. “Or a woman. And I am one of the most—if not the
most—brilliant scientists on the planet, not some pubescent fanboy with an acne problem and no life. I don’t even like
Star Trek—the stories are crap, the platitudes make me gag, and the science is incredibly flawed. The warp drive—”
“Hey, I don’t wanna hear about warp drives,” Faith said, preparing to stand up. She’d spent enough time around Andrew.
“Oh. Sorry. Anyway, the thing about Sheppard is that he’s always flirting with … native girls. Just like Captain Kirk. Always the young, attractive ones who’re the daughters of the local chieftain or king or grand high poobah or whatever. When he’s supposed to be doing something useful, like, oh, say, guarding me
“I see,” Faith said, amused. “So his job is guarding you?”
“Well, part of it is. One of the more important parts.” Rodney frowned. “Hey, how come we’re talking about him, anyway?”
“I dunno,” Faith said. “You were saying you know what to do with a woman?” She leered at him.
“Yes. Well, in the short term, anyway,” Rodney said. “It’s not sleeping with them that’s the problem—I’m actually very good at that, courtesy of a girl in college who—never mind—it’s keeping them around after they get to know me. For some reason, most people don’t appreciate my wit and verbal aptitude.”
“I can’t imagine why,” Faith said with a snicker.
“I know,” Rodney said, completely missing her sarcasm. “It’s a mystery to me, too. Anyway, the longest relationship I’ve ever had was six months with a KGB agent when I was stationed in Russia.” He sighed, eyes loosing focus for a second. “I’d heard they taught great sex and seduction techniques to female spies, but I’d never believed it before. Anyway, she was trying to seduce al—” he chopped himself off. “I mean, advanced
technology from me.”
“Did she succeed?” Faith asked, not sure whether to believe him or not but amused either way. Damn, it’d been a while since she’d had this much fun outside of sex or fighting.
“Do I look
like an idiot to you?” Rodney said, managing to imply in those few words that while he wasn’t, she must be to have even suggested it. “Hello. Why would I want to do that? She would’ve dumped me as soon as she got what she wanted,” he said slowly, like it was obvious.
“Gotcha,” Faith said, nodding. She drained her beer and stood. The night wasn’t getting any younger.
“Hey, where are you going?” Rodney protested.
“Oh, I dunno, Rodney, baby. I was kinda hoping your apartment.” She winked at him.
“Oh.” Rodney’s jaw dropped, like he hadn’t really
been expecting to get lucky tonight. He stood quickly and began fumbling in his pocket for money. Faith waited impatiently while he paid his tab, then headed outside.
“I’ll get us a cab,” Rodney said as they stepped out into the chill night air.
“Don’t bother, I’ve got a bike,” Faith said.
“A bicycle? At night. Oh,” he said at her glare. “Sorry.” She grabbed his hand and dragged him over to where her bike was chained up. “You want the helmet?” she asked.
“I wouldn’t get on a motorcycle without one,” Rodney said. “You do know doctors call them donor-cycles, don’t you?” He caught the helmet as she tossed it to him. “Wait, if you only have one, what are you going to wear?”
“I’m not.” Faith swung a leg over the bike. “Get on.”
“Look, I’m a good driver. Nothing’s going to happen. You can get on now, or I can go back in the bar and pick someone else up. Your choice. I ain’t leaving my bike here overnight.”
He got on in a hurry and settled in closely behind her, wrapping his arms around her middle. Faith started the bike, revving it up, enjoying the feel of the engine thrumming between her legs and a warm, male body pressed up against her back.
He gave her directions to his apartment, breath tickling her ear, and by the time they got there she was definitely ready for some action. She stood impatiently while he fished a key out of his pocket, then grabbed him and dragged him inside. “Bedroom?”
“Down the hall on the right,” Rodney said, and she headed off without turning on the lights, slayer vision helping her through the obstacle course that was the floor of Rodney’s apartment.
“Ow!” Rodney said, tripping over something. “Hey, either slow down or give me time to put on some lights. Or both!”
But by the time he finished protesting they were inside his bedroom and she was stripping, and he had no protests after that.
Faith woke up the next morning to the sound of a really annoying cell phone ring. Not hers. The lump beside her wasn’t stirring to answer it, so she poked him hard in the ribs until the change in his breathing told her he was awake.
Grumbling under his breath about idiots who couldn’t be trusted to run things without his direct supervision, he leaned over and started fishing through the pockets of the shirt he’d worn last night until he found a cell phone and answered it. “Yes?” he said sharply.
Faith stretched luxuriously while he argued with whoever it was he was talking with. The man had not been lying about his abilities last night; hadn’t even exaggerated them all that much. Though she supposed that since most women wouldn’t like his personality, he needed to have some
way of keeping them around once he’d gotten them. And despite the fact that this was obviously a bachelor crash pad, the mattress was really
good and the sheets were obviously high quality; all in all, it had been a good night. Maybe he’d be up for another round this morning.
“Ten minutes?” Rodney said. “No. That is absolutely out of the question. I have not showered or eaten breakfast, yet.” Pause. “Oh, come on, the mess hall here is almost as bad as the one at the base. I was going to get some good
food for a change! And good coffee, too.” Pause. “Fine. But you owe me, Sheppard.” He ended the call with a violent click and sat up. “Faith. I’m sorry, but I’ve got to go in ten minutes. You can stay, take a shower, whatever, as long as you lock up before you leave and put the key under the door mat for me to pick up tonight.”
“You picked me up in a bar last night, and you’re trusting me to lock your place up for you?” Faith said, eyebrow raised.
Rodney shrugged. “Actually, you
up, I think. Besides, it’s not like I keep anything particularly valuable around this place, or anything classified. This is the first time I’ve been here in over a year, I’ll be leaving again in a week, and won’t be back until God only knows when, and even then it’ll probably be just a short leave. And by the time my current posting is over and I’m back in the States permanently my TV and DVD player and stereo will probably all be old enough that I’ll want to get new ones, so really, where’s the harm?” He crawled out of bed and stood up stiffly.
Faith smirked. Most of those aches were her
doing, and she had the feeling that she’d share them if it weren’t for Slayer healing. She watched him head for the bathroom, admiring his ass as he walked. Yeah, there was more muscle under there than was apparent from a casual glance, and he knew how to make the best use of it, too. Ten minutes. They could have some fun in that short a time, but it really wouldn’t be enough time to make use of his talents. She sighed and stared up at the ceiling while Rodney showered, turning on her side to watch him once he got out and started getting dressed. “Hey, is Sheppard going to be the one picking you up?”
“Yeah, why?” Rodney said as he put on his shoes.
“No reason,” Faith said. Really, it would be kinda nice to show some appreciation for Rodney’s … efforts last night. And she couldn’t believe she was thinking this, but if he wanted another night some time, she wouldn’t turn him down.
As Rodney left, muttering something about Pop Tarts, Faith crawled to the edge of the bed and grabbed her pants from last night. She pulled a business card from her wallet just as she heard a honk outside.
“Just a minute!” Rodney yelled, though she doubted Sheppard could hear him.
Faith got out of bed, taking the sheet with her. She took a few seconds to drape it artfully around herself and run her fingers through her hair so it didn’t look too
bad. She heard the Pop Tarts come up, and Rodney making his way to the front door.
Her timing was perfect. She reached him just as he stepped outside, clearly visible to Sheppard in his car. “Hey, baby,” Faith said as she pressed up against him and reached up for the most searing kiss she knew, which he returned with enthusiasm. She broke off the kiss after a few seconds; always leave ‘em wanting more, that was her motto. “Call me some time,” she said, slipping the card into his front pants pocket and stepping back.
“Huh?” Rodney said. He blinked a couple of times. “Right. See you.” He turned and walked towards the car.
Faith watched him go, giving a salacious wink to Sheppard, sitting in the front seat, mouth hanging open. She watched them go, then went back inside to shower and dress, feeling smug. Because really, everything was five by five.