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Touring the Grounds

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Summary: New Defense Professor (Buffy) is led on a tour of Hogwarts by Professor Snape. One Shot.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Harry Potter > Buffy-Centered > Theme: Hogwarts TeacherHeatherSinFR131620094,6502 Jul 062 Jul 06Yes
Touring the Grounds
Everything you Need to Know about Hogwarts But Were Afraid to Ask
Heather Sinclair

Spoilers: Order of the Phoenix
Pairings: H/Hr
Rating: PG-13.
Disclaimer: This story, and any content relating to the Harry Potter franchise is not authorized by J.K. Rowling, or Scholastic Press. I own my computer ... Can I have Harry and Hermione instead?
Fonts: This story is best viewed with the following fonts: "Harry P", and "Lumos". They can be found at in the downloads section. The story is written in "Garamond".

The Next Victim

"Ah Severus, do come in," Dumbledore said as he leaned forward, into his desk within the Headmaster's office. "I would like to introduce you to the new Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher."

Snape glowered but entered nonetheless. Passed up again for the position he most coveted, he stepped to the side to obtain a better view of his new rival.

An eyebrow arched and his lips crooked to a familiar sneer.

"I would like you to meet Miss Buffy Summers. Miss Summers, Hogwarts' Potion Master, Severus Snape."

"The Slayer?" Snape almost spat.

"Live and in person," Buffy happily chirped. "Accept no substitute."

"Indeed," responded the potions master. "If that is all you require of me, Headmaster, I will return to the dungeons."

Dumbledore smiled happily. "In fact, Severus, I do require one additional task for you to carry out."

He watched expectantly as Snape turned about and stood reservedly waiting for Dumbledore's request.

"I would like you to take Miss Summers on a tour of Hogwarts and it's grounds."

Snape's sneer returned. "Perhaps Filch …"

"Mr. Filch has been called away to a caretaker's convention in the States."

Snape's eyes rolled with distain. "Of course he has."

He looked back down at the diminutive blonde. "If you are ready, Miss Summers."

The blonde hopped up out of her squashy armchair. "Whenever you are, Sevy."

Snape flinched. "In the future, please refrain from calling me by that name. I prefer Professor Snape."

Buffy shrugged. "Said the broody man in black flowing dress."


"Oooh, what's in here," Buffy said as she dashed to a door.

Snape sighed for the tenth time. "That, Miss Summers, would be another classroom."

She huffed in disappointment. "Sure are a lot of classrooms around here."

Snape held his hand behind his back. "Yes, imagine the irony of having classrooms located in the middle of a school. I shall have to speak with the headmaster about this obvious nuisance."

Buffy smirked. "Feeling a bit snarky today are we, Sevy?"

"Snarky," said as he raised his hooked nose with distain. "I do not recognize your obvious Muggle reference."

Buffy stopped and placed her hands on her hips. "Snarky: To be snarky, having a snarky attitude, having snarked…"

Snape turned away and continued down the passageway. "I'm sure I do not understand your abuse of the English language."

Buffy followed him quickly. "How about this: Stuck up, uptight, having a stick up one's a…"

Snape turned abruptly, his robes billowing with the movement. "Miss Summers, please refrain from using vulgarities while on the grounds. There are children about."

Buffy's eyes darted to another door, and she smiled. "Like in here?"

The potions master glowered. "That would be a linen closet, you insufferable woman."

Buffy stepped up and opened the door. Inside were a reasonably tall bespectacled boy and a shorter bushy-haired girl with a look of extreme shock on their faces.

"Erm …," the boy with the glasses said.

Snape's eyes widened. "Potter, Granger you will get out of that closet at once … and put your clothes on for Merlin's sake." Then as he had second thoughts "Twenty points from Gryffindor."

Buffy closed the door and let the kids have their peace. "Spoilsport."


The End

You have reached the end of "Touring the Grounds". This story is complete.

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