Another Crash

BtVs and the Buffyverse characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.
Transformers:Beast Wars created by Hasbro; Story written and animated by Mainframe Entertainment.

Response to Challenge 1564


Predacons ('Bad' guys): Megatron, Terrorsaur, Blackarachnia, Scorponok, Tarantulus, Waspinator
Maximals ('Good' guys): Optimus Primal, Rattrap, Rhinox, Dinobot, Cheetor, Tigatron
Import: Olaf


A gorilla was reading a book while a spotted cheetah lounged above him in a tree in the peaceful meadow. A brown rat the size of a Great Dane was sunning himself on some rocks as a nearby rhino dozed peacefully amongst the flowers in the grass, tuckered out from their most recent battle with the reptile-and-insect-themed robots that had crashed on this planet along with them, a long time before. The one member of the enemy ship that had defected to their cause had grown weary of this moment of rest and was now taking the time to exercise and train his velcioraptor body.

After finishing a set of pull-ups using a low-hanging branch and the longer arms provided by his robotic form, Dinobot shifted into full animal mode, indistinguishable from the original beast, and scurried up the rough bark of the tree. He began a series of timed and carefully executed jumps among the trees in the clearing, only to overshoot a particularly tricky leap. He tried to correct, but only managed to grab hold of the cheetah's tail and pull them both down to crash on the annoyed gorilla a short distance below.

The rat had a few seconds to roll around the ground, convulsing in laughter, before something blocked out the sun. He looked up, only to be crushed underneath a very heavy, magic-blooded humanoid.

As soon as the dazed rodent is pulled to safety, they stand around the unconscious, red-bearded, horned figure, amazed.

"Rhinox, Maximize," the rhino rumbles as he unfolds into robot mode, then checks the being's pulse. "It's alive and it's mammal, I can tell that much. What do you think it is?"

"Obviously enough," Dinobot grumbles. "He is a completely incompetent dimensional traveler, who likely has no information to either help us or to identify this stupid planet."


Olaf opens his eyes on a new world and sits up, clutching his green-skinned forehead. He looks at the assorted strange forms surrounding him, confused, until his eyes fix on a species of great ape he remembers from his short trip through 900 AD Africa. The troll leaps to his feet, showing surprising agility for his bulk and, wanting to make up for his earlier appearance of weakness, begins furiously pounding his chest and shouting the gorilla fighting challenge.

Optimus Primal, leader of the Maximals, feels an instinctual urge to respond in kind, but he is able to repress it. Instead he stands there, bemused, until he shifts into robot mode and simply moves one of his swords blindingly fast, the point coming to rest, just touching the troll's nose.

"Oh! Hairy metal demon!" Olaf grunts, amazed. "Take me to your leader, so that I might crush him!"

"I am the leader!"

"Then die so that I might be king!" Olaf yells, grabbing the blade, despite the pain it must be causing him, and wrenches it from the Maximal's grip.

A violent battle ensues with several limbs being torn off various Maximals and used as weapons, until Olaf, currently at the bottom of the heap, unexpectedly begins to laugh.

He surges to his feet, sending robots flying, and shouts: "A lovely fight, that reveals you as true warriors, despite your strange form. My name is Olaf! Come, let us retire to your house so I may join your band and make merry with ale and wenches."

"Too bad we're lacking in the second department," Rattrap grumbles, once he has pulled himself together. "But, hey, if it's alright with you guys, let's give him the tour. There's just something about this blood," he says, touching a red splash on his metal shoulder and taking a closer look at a drop on his fingertip. "That makes me want to have Rhinox run every non-lethal test possible on this guy."

Optimus nods, everybody else shrugs and they gather themselves to leave the clearing.

"What is that smell," Cheetor grimaces as they walk, waving a hand in front of his robotic nostrils.

"Oh, that is only the herbs and musk that I was anointed with in hopes of sending me to Troll World," Olaf rumbles, smiling. "I assure you that my natural odor is much stronger."

"Great..." was the general consensus as they all hobble into their base.


Later...

Megatron was annoyed by his underlings' latest defeat and infuriated by the story that they had brought home with them.

"You are trying to tell me," the purple tyrannosaur-based robot roars. "That after you had successfully separated the cat from his teammates and had him subdued, the three of you were defeated single handedly by an Earthling myth?"

"Yes, Megatron," Scorponok says, saluting. "But only because he had guns. Multiple and big scary guns."

The only thing Tarantulus, who hadn't seen the battle, has to add is: "... Be thankful, very thankful, we're not having to deal with elves..."


Olaf proved himself in battle time and time again, winning the respect of his teammates, for this was not a time in the Beast Wars when his inability to fly or to be carried by fliers was a major liability. So things settled into a happy kind of normalcy until...

"All this sunshine and compassion bothers me," Olaf shouts, one day. "When I ate Rhinox's most recent bunch of flowers from their pots and he reprimanded me I actually felt regret... And that is no proper emotion for a troll! I must join up with the Preds where lack of respect for my comrades will only hone my fighting spirit. I must take my leave of you, and join the enemy. Good day."

"Hey, you can't just-" Cheetor begins to shout after the troll, but is silenced by a hand on his shoulder.

"No, let him go."

"But, Bigbot! He's a good fighter! It's not like he's going to trash their base any worse than ours."

"Cheetor," Optimus replies, smirking. "Have you heard what they say about stray cats?"


Some time later...

"I am bored of this constant bickering and stabbing of the back, not even you, my dear," Olaf says, kissing Blackarachnia's silky hand. "Can bend my will. I would rather abandon war altogether and live in a glade with the bunnies than stay in this dark place. When next we meet it will be as enemies."

"I for one, am not going to worry," the Predacon leader stated, watching the troll's retreating back. "He'll come back to us, eventually. How interesting can the Maximals be?"

Megatron was partially right- the troll returned for a short while, before leaving again for the Axalon, repeating this cycle about every other episode.


So Olaf lived with the Cybertronians and both sides became used to his quirks, so used to him in fact that they accepted him as an honorary robot. They were rudely reminded about their innate difference when, on the discovery and reactivation of a damaged stasis pod, it unexpectedly scanned Olaf's DNA. Everyone's jaws dropped as the protoform swirled, solidified, opened the hatch and climbed out as an exact replica of the troll.

Before the body-double could speak his new name and transform to his robotic state, Olaf interrupted, angrily stomping a foot: "I will not stand for this! Olaf has rights to his own body, clone does not! You are new. Protoform must go back into pod, reverse to jelly, and come out again as female!"



And they lived happily ever after.