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The Luck of the Draw

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Summary: She didn't ask to be to be like this.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
BtVS/AtS Non-Crossover > Dark > Buffy-Centered(Recent Donor)BuffyCharmedFR1811,840031,58823 Jul 0623 Jul 06Yes
The Luck of the Draw

Disclaimer: I don't own BtVS or any characters.

Author's Note: Hi! This is just kinda an idea I came up with and thought I'd try. Hope you like it!


It wasn't crowded in the small bar. In fact, it was rather secluded. Nine or ten people sat chatting and drinking. The bartender looked ready to leave. The man stood with his elbows leaning on the counter, reading a newspaper with a bored look on his face. Everyone looked as if they hadn't a care in the world; excluding a small figure sitting at the bar with several empty beer bottles in front of her.

She was petite. Hardly the kind of girl that looked like she could hold her alcohol. Her honey blonde hair hung loo sly on her shoulders. She was clad in combat boots, black leather pants, and a black sweater. You'd never expect such a creature to be able to take you down in five seconds flat.

She sighed and asked the bartender for another drink. Not that it would help. She would drink all night, trying to ease the pain, or make it halfway bearable. She never got drunk, though, just as Buffy knew she never would. Sometimes she just needed to pretend she would, for it was the only way she could keep from going crazy.

The bartender sat the beer in front of her and she took a big gulp. She needlessly fiddled with a cross that hung around her neck. A sad smile flashed across her face.

It had been a long time since she thought about Angel, really sat down and played with her memories. Angel. Her first love. He would always be in her heart. Even when she wasn't sure she wanted him to be. When he left he'd done the right thing, but not for the reasons he thought. She'd grown up. If Angel had stayed, she's not sure she would have. Angel had always been her safety net. Whenever there was a problem she couldn't fix, there was her Angel, in shining armor. She would never live a normal life, as he'd been convinced she could have without him, but she did learn to live in it. She scoffed.

A normal life. Right. Her chance at a home with a husband and kids and a white picket fence was shot to hell the moment she'd been approached by Merrick. Angel never really understood that. In the end, there was only one who could.


Buffy's heart ached at the thought of him. The sexy, British vampire had ultimately been the one to get under her skin. He'd made quite an impact on her life. When he first told her he loved her, she admittedly thought he was crazy. Since she'd turned fifteen, she had been taught, plain and simple.
Soulless vampire = Bad. So when she found herself caring about the vamp, she was confused. She was supposed to kill the evil undead, not date them. She wasn't about to deny it. She was a right bitch to him. She was trying to feel what she was supposed to feel. It wasn't until he got his soul, however, that she could no longer deny the truth.

Even with the soul, even as a Scooby, even as a champion- Spike was Spike. He would always be the same sarcastic, British, know-it-all vamp, just as he would always be the same loving, passionate man.

And it wasn't until that very moment in the hellmouth, that she didn't are about the doubt. She didn't care about what the others would think. She just wanted him. And even as he denied her love, she knew he had known the truth. She'd gone and fell in love with Spike a long time ago. He'd only wanted her to be OK.

Things were hard, admittedly, despite their accomplishment. Willow and Kennedy broke up. Kennedy had claimed Willow was still in love with Tara, and shouldn't be with someone if she wasn't ready to move on. Will didn't really blame her. Giles was getting to work on the establishment of a slayer school. Faith and Robin seemed okay. In fact, they were the only ones who seemed to come out of the fight the most unscathed. In was Xander and Buffy who were the most distraught. They helped each other cope with their losses. Buffy didn't cry for him, though. No, she refused to. Spike was a hero. A champion. Spike loved her, and wouldn't want her to cry over him. There was Dawn, too. Who much like Buffy, thought it would be better to remember him in love.

Despite the heartache, they eventually got through it. For a while, things were good. They had just started gathering potentials and getting the school started. It wasn't until a few weeks later that everyone noticed the changes in Buffy. She grew stronger with each passing day, and it showed in her fighting. Along with her speed, agility, and senses. Buffy grew really confused to what was happening to her, and the Scoobies quickly found the answer.

The spell had backfired. Every day, slayers were losing their powers, and every day, Buffy was gaining them. It wasn't until a cold night about two months later, that what happened really hit her. Faith had gone on patrol without her and she thought nothing of it. When she didn't come home, she knew what had happened. She could feel it. Faith had lost her slayer powers in the middle of a fight, and as soon as Faith drew her last breath, Buffy felt the power course through her.

Buffy took in her own breath at that memory. She blamed herself for the death of her sister slayer. It was she who had thought of the spell, and it was she who was responsible for all the slayers who died because they'd lost their strength. Buffy barely made it from day to day with all the guilt inside her. When Dawn died after a car wreck, it was the last she could take. Demons she could take. Vampires she could dust. Hell goddesses she could destroy. But a man who blamed himself for the swerve of his car? That she couldn't stand, and it was that day that she completely separated herself from her friends.

She traveled, fighting demons, dusting vamps, and stopping evil schemes. Buffy did this for about a year. Strangely, there had been no apocalypse. Not that that was a bad thing, but for all of the things she was used to seeing within a year, she thought maybe there would be some all powerful big bad out to cause havoc.

She'd been sitting in a bar, much like this one when he'd approached her.


The annoying little balance demon with no sense of style.

She remembered his visit as if it were yesterday.

Bar, somewhere in Texas

She sensed him the moment he arrived. Hell, with all the power she now had, no evil could come within state limits without her knowing.

"Ya know, if you wanted to be really crazy for a minute, you could just tell me what you want and go away."

"Now slayer, what would be the fun in that?" he asked sitting beside her.

"Well personally it would make my day."

"Look kid, as much as I enjoy the oh so pleasant company, I didn't come down to chit chat."

"Which if you were listening, I'm all for." she stated dryly.

"Fine, you want direct? The Powers want your help."

Buffy looked at him raising an eyebrow.

"And this is new how?"

"It's new because I'm not talking 'bout your average apocalypse."

She met his gaze.

"I'm listening."

Whistler smirked and continued.

"You see, the PTB? They've got some problems. People who need saving, big bads who need slaying. That's where you come in." Buffy gave him an incredulous look.

"Um, hello? That's what I've been doing. Fighting the good fight and all that. Either you're really not observant, or there's something you're not telling me, and I'm willing to bet it's the ladder."

"Never miss a beat do, do ya kid?"

"Don't call me kid."

"Touchy." he commented.

"No, not touchy. Touchy ended a long time ago and since then has morphed into pissed." she glowered. "Ya know, I can still rip out your rib cage. I bet I can to it faster now, too."

"Fine, fine. There is something. We need you in the fight. The fight just happens to be somewhere else."

"What do you mean 'somewhere else'?"

"I mean not here. Other places. Places that need you. You've got power kid, a lot of it. All thanks to that spell. Haven't you noticed? There's a few vamps here and there, but no immediate danger. This place, this world- it doesn't need you. You're just moping around."

"What are you suggesting?" He offered a warm smile.

"I'm giving you a choice. Now, you can stay here, fight a few demons and vamps every so often, and generally just be miserable. Or you can come with me and help. You can make a difference again."

Buffy looked at him with a hopeful gleam in her eye she hadn't had in over a year.

"Where do I start?"

Buffy sighed at the memory. It was the first day of the rest of her life. Whistler had changed her life. After that day, she had become immortal. She even got a new power. She could teleport. Apparently dimension hopping required this type of skill. Granted, Buffy thought it was kind of random, but it DID save a lot of time.

For years now she worked for The Powers. She went to so many different worlds and universes she had lost count years ago. Jumping through portals was a regular occurrence for the young looking blonde. At first she had been thrilled, getting to fight and protect again. But the trips quickly lost their allure, and again Buffy was left with an empty feeling in her heart.

It was all of this that led her here, to this bar in the middle of nowhere. She'd been to places like this so many times now and drank and barely got sleep. She got a sad, angry look on her face.

Any other person would have cried at this point, but Buffy just couldn't do it. She may let out a few tears here and there, but she'd practically cried herself dry at this point.

Sometimes, she felt like a shell. She went to different worlds, she saved the helpless, and she did it all like a routine. She just worked as like a good little tool for the PTB to abuse. It seemed the only emotion she could display was anger or pain. There was nothing left in her heart. Her friends became but bittersweet memories. Memories that got more and more distant with each passing day. She could no longer deny what she was.

She was immortal. She was alone. She was empty.

She didn't ask to be like this, it was simply the luck of the draw. If you could even call it that.

The End

You have reached the end of "The Luck of the Draw". This story is complete.

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